Honestly, I think it's becoming a combination of both. My life has become a kind of surreal hell. Unbelievable by both myself and others. I have my good days, my ok days, and then there's the rest. I didn't realize how far I'd fallen from day-to-day society until my shoot yesterday. It's like everyone was speaking a foreign language. I've been battling to get out of it, and improve my environment, for close to 8 years. The harder I try and get out the worse it seems to get, hehe. Painting helps a bit, but in a way it also adds to the depression. I have yet to really try and push my art out there, but that's because I look at the effort it'll take and wonder if it will be worth it, hehe.