Full script of issue #001 of Cryptopia, my Steemit inspired comic!
Good evening, Steemit community. This is a meaningful post. As many of you know, I've been doing character design for several characters to be featured in a Steemit/cryptocurrency inspired serialized comic, created and shared exclusively here on the site. You can go back a few posts and look at the profiles of Allan Graves, Freya Thatcher-Forsyth and Biny Sleaze.
To be honest, since I joined Steemit, I've enjoyed a wealth of inspiration and creativity. I'm transition careers, previously as a photographer, and trying to focus on comic book illustration/creation. Steemit has been significant in helping that transition along. I believe in this site and it's future, and I feel fortunate to have been introduced to cryptocurrency at this point in my life [...long before the mainstream].
While I was thinking about this comic, and the world the characters live in [...near future, roughly 5 years from now in post-Brexit London], the name came to me. This title will be called Cryptopia. Absolutely fitting, as the premise is a world where society finally tips and there are more people making, selling and buying with crypto than traditional currencies. The entire social class structure flips as previous million and billionaires lose their fortunes as the dollar and sterling collapse; punks, anarchists and crypto-enthusiasts become the new wealth and new power the world. You can see this early treatment I did long before I landed on a name, or characters.
I'm really excited to announce that I finished the full script for the first issue of Cryptopia this afternoon [...first draft at least, which may change slightly]. I'm sharing it here on Steemit. I'd love feedback and constructive criticism. There are some easter eggs hidden in there that regular users of the site and currency will get. It's very political, and at times, pretty dark [I'm a big Chuck Palahniuk and Charles Bukowski fan, so you'll most likely see the influences].
Give it a read. I'm not near as worried about post rewards for this. I'd love more followers, just so future pages, writings and artwork gets in front of the community. Big thanks to @mada and @lovejoy who have been invaluable resources in navigating the complicated science and theology of cryptocurrencies and blockchain technologies.
I'll be posting more Cryptopia progress soon. Follow me @kommienezuspadt!
PAGE 1. [TWO PANELS]
EXT. INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT
PANEL 1. DETECTIVES HOWE and ARENDSE stand above an exhumed
casket, resting next to an open grave.
PANEL 2. DETECTIVE HOWE leans down and inspects claw marks an
inch deep on the roof of the casket.
PAGE 2. [TWO PANELS]
EXT. INDUSTRIAL DISTRICT
PANEL 1. DETECTIVE ARENDSE makes a few notes while looking at
fingers worn down to the first knuckle on the victim's body.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
He look familiar to you?
DETECTIVE HOWE
Yeah, kinda.
PANEL 2. DETECTIVE ARENDSE looks at a thick pipe laying aside
the pile of dirt and casket. Empty water bottles are strewn
around the feet of the casket.
DETECTIVE HOWE (CONT'D)
It's the politician, right? The one
with the hot wife. What's his name?
Forsyth.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
Yeah. She's cute. They'll clean
this up. We should probably go tell
her he's dead.
PAGE 3. [THREE PANELS]
INT. HIGH RISE APARTMENT
PANEL 1. ALLAN GRAVES stands looking out across the City of
London.
PANEL 2. MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI walks up to ALLAN
GRAVES and begins to tie his tie.
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
Are you nervous?
PANEL 3. ALLAN GRAVES looks at MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
and reassures her.
ALLAN GRAVES
No. Of course not. After Brexit, I
was nervous. When we were receiving
death threats I was nervous. When
we were starving...I was nervous.
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
That was a long time ago. We
survived and when we're elected,
they're going to wish they did more
to break us.
PAGE 4. [TWO PAGES]
PANEL 1. MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI and ALLAN GRAVES
continuing discuss their future assuming they are elected top
witness.
ALLAN GRAVES
Trying to get back at a city of
racist old fucks is a distraction,
MARIANA. They're dying off. We need
to focus on ushering in the new
power.
PANEL 2. MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI continue their
discussion as she cuts an apple with a paring knife.
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
That power is ours. There are
millions of people in this city
that suffered everything we went
through, and worse, ALLEN.
ALLAN GRAVES
I know, my love. Let's worry about
becoming witness before the things
we're going to do once we are.
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
I'm anxious. What time are meeting
YORK tomorrow?
ALLAN GRAVES
10:00a.m., downtown.
PAGE 5. [THREE PANELS]
INT. APARTMENT
CAP 1. YORK'S Apartment. 9:10a.m.
PANEL 1. A heavily clad punk is seen leaning over a leopard
print table doing a few lines of cocaines.
PANEL 2. YORK slips on a leather jacket adorned in patches,
pins and spikes.
PANEL 3. YORK grabs a set of keys on his way downstairs.
PAGE 6. [FOUR PANELS]
PANEL 1. YORK walks through a set of high double doors, and
surrounding him on the stoop are several dozen homeless men,
women and children holding up phones showing QR codes.
PANEL 2. YORK stops and pulls his phone out.
YORK ELLIS
Good morning, fuckers!
PANEL 3. YORK begins scanning each phone sending 100.000
STEEM to each person near his reach.
YORK ELLIS (CONT'D)
I'll never get tired of this! Evey
one of ya, the same cunts that went
out of your way to avoid me just to
cash your bloody paychecks.
PANEL 4. YORK drives away on a motorcycle.
YORK ELLIS (CONT'D)
Same time, same place, wankers!
PAGE 7. [FOUR PANELS]
CAP 1. East End, London
PANEL 1. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH answers the door and on the
other side are DETECTIVES HOWE and ARENDSE.
PANEL 2. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH's head collapses in her hand
and her posture slumps.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
I knew it. I knew it!
PANEL 3. DETECTIVE HOWE addresses FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
DETECTIVE HOWE
Ma'am. May we have a word?
PANEL 4. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH waves the men inside while
wiping a tear from her cheek.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
Just come in.
PAGE 8. [FOUR PANELS]
PANEL 1. DETECTIVE HOWE and DETECTIVE ARENDSE try to explain
what happened to her husband. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
addresses the two detectives before they can finish speaking.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
Mrs. Forsyth, I'm sorry toÊÑÑÑ
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
It was those crypto slags, wasn't
it?
DETECTIVE HOWE
Ma'am. It's an open investigation.
PANEL 2. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH admonishes both detectives,
impatiently wanting answers to her husband's murder.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
I give a fuckall about your
investigation. My husband has been
missing for five weeks and telling
me he's dead is the first time
either of you, or anyone from your
department has lifted a finger
during this "investigation".
PANEL 3. Both investigators try to calm FREYA THATCHER
FORSYTH down, acknowledging the stress she's under.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
M'am. We understand you're under a
lot of pressure. This part of the
job is never easy.
DETECTIVE HOWE
I assure you, we're doing
everything we can.
PANEL 4.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
I'd like to see my husband. Other
than that, I'd appreciate if you
both left me to our affairs.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
We'll find who did this Mrs.
Forsyth.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
They'll be dead long before you do.
I'll see you both out.
PAGE 9. [THREE PANELS]
PANEL 1. YORK ELLIS stands at a podium in front of hundreds
attending waiting for an announcement by ALLEN GRAVES.
YORK ELLIS
This man about to take the stage;
he's one of us! He came here for an
opportunity, and he was met by a
bunch of hateful fascists. He was
told to "go home", just like I was.
Just like you all were. I find that
rather amusing that the majority of
those old wankers are currently
homeless themselves.
PANEL 2. YORK ELLIS continues to excite the audience with a
rousing speech, energizing them for when ALLAN GRAVES and
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI take the stage.
YORK ELLIS (CONT'D)
He's been here through all of it!
Fuckin' hell. While I'm spending my
STEEM on drugs, alcohol and
subsequent rehabs...ALLAN GRAVES is
building a program that'll see this
shitehole of a city through the
ugliness we all know is still to
come.
PANEL 3. YORK ELLIS leads up to ALLAN GRAVES and MARIANA
APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI's introduction to the stage.
YORK ELLIS (CONT'D)
He is here today, because he has
something he wants to tell all of
you, so without further adieu,
comrades, I give you MARIANA
APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI and ALLAN -
FUCKING - GRAVES!
PAGE 10. [FOUR PANELS]
PANEL 1. ALLAN GRAVES takes to the stage, accompanied by
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI.
ALLAN GRAVES
London! I'm here to announce...
PANEL 2. ALLAN GRAVES captivates the audience with a long
moment of anticipation. MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI grips
his arm with a big smile.
PANEL 3. ALLAN GRAVES leans forward and announced to the
crowd that he is running for witness.
ALLAN GRAVES (CONT'D)
I am running for top witness of the
STEEM blockchain!
PAGE 11. [TWO PANELS]
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH meets a older gentleman at a small
cafŽ. An envelope sits under a folded newspaper on the table.
MAN
You keep saying "crpyto people" are
going to pay.
You should accept that the majority
of the population that aren't
living in shelter are "crpyto
people". I was able to get you a
jump on which "crypto people", but
it isn't much.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
Meaning?
PANEL 2. The older man continues to explain the information
he's gathered on FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH's husband's murder.
MAN
Meaning, there was a bounty placed
on your husband. I had NED scrape
known dark web sites after you
contacted me last night. This
morning, he turned up a listing for
a 1,000,000.000 bounty to be
collected for the execution of one
DAVID M. FORSYTH, with very
specific instructions.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
Who posted the bounty?
MAN
So far, all we've got is an
account. Almost certainly a
surrogate. It's all in there.
PAGE 12. [TWO PANELS]
PANEL 1. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH and the MAN continue their
discussion.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
Keep your friend NED on it. I'm
going to need a name.
MAN
Your escrow isn't going to cover
that Mrs. FORSYTH.
PANEL 2. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH clicks and thumbs at her
phone.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
Sent.
PANEL 3. FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH just notices on the
television screen in the cafŽ the breaking news that ALLAN
GRAVES has just announced his candidacy for top witness. The
MAN is turned over his shoulder watching as well.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH (CONT'D)
Are you shitting me?
MAN
Oh. You didn't hear? Yeah. They're
eating it up. Poor, tattooed
immigrant kid announces that he's
running for witness. Never a dull
moment here in London.
PANEL 4. ALLAN GRAVES on the TV during the witness
announcement.
FREYA THATCHER-FORSYTH
Indeed.
PAGE 13. [FOUR PANELS]
PANEL 1. DETECTIVES HOWE and ARENDSE stand in the morgue with
forensics investigator CLEMENT PAUL, going over the body of
DAVID FORSYTH.
DETECTIVE HOWE
Motive is pretty straight forward.
He was a prick. How long was he
underground?
CLEMENT PAUL
If I had to guess, maybe five or
six weeks...give or take?
PANEL 2. Conversation in the morgue continues.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
You can tell all that from the
decomposition?
PANEL 3. CLEMENT PAUL raises the corpses' hand exposing a
hand without fingers and rugged, exposed bone.
CLEMENT PAUL
Oh, no. This was the result of
clawing to escape a foot locker two
meters deep under ground.
On his back, here you can see the
degenerative tissue. I'd say around
the third week, worms and slugs
probably started to get in.
PANEL 4. DETECTIVE HOWE and ARENDSE both turn away, visibly
disgusted by the scene.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
Good, PAUL. We got it.
PAGE 14. [THREE PANELS]
PANEL 1. CLEMENT PAUL continues with the forensics report.
CLEMENT PAUL
He was hydrated right until he died
of either starvation, or septic
shock.
DETECTIVE HOWE
Yeah. Whoever buried him left two
cases of water near his feet.
PANEL 2. Continued conversation.
CLEMENT PAUL
I saw that in the report. Fucked
up.
PANEL 3. Continued conversation and DETECTIVES HOWE and
ARENDSE leave the morgue.
DETECTIVE ARENDSE
Always a pleasure, CLEMENT.
PAGE 15. [TWO PANELS]
CAP. 1 Vang Vieng, Laos
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE sits in front of a computer, staring at
a screen with a shocked expression.
BINY SLEAZE
No. No, no. No fuckin' way.
PANEL 2. BINY SLEAZE screams at the computer, processing his
current situation.
BINY SLEAZE (CONT'D)
FUUUUUUUUUUUCK!
PAGE 16. [THREE PANELS]
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE loses control and begins throwing things
from his desk against the wall.
PANEL 2. BINY SLEAZE stands in the middle of a wrecked room,
with two scared teenagers in the corner.
PANEL 3. BINY SLEAZE takes a deep breath.
PAGE 17. [FOUR PANELS}
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE makes a call.
BINY SLEAZE (CONT'D)
You haven't received it, have you?
MAN ON PHONE
No.
PANEL 2. Still on the phone.
BINY SLEAZE
It appears the funds have been
intercepted, somehow.
MAN ON PHONE
That is not possible. We are here,
waiting for the transfer, BINY.
PANEL 3. Continuing the conversation while lighting a
cigarette.
BINY SLEAZE
I know it's not possible, but it
just fucking happened, Vitali!
PANEL 4. The two teenagers huddle close to other another in
the corner of the room, trying to hide from BINY SLEAZE's
outbursts.
PAGE 18. [TWO PAGES]
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE is still on the phone, assumably with
the recipient of the money he tried to transfer.
MAN ON PHONE
BINY. This is not good business.
You offered a very big reward for a
very specific bounty. It was
carried out and my guy, he wants to
be paid, you know?
PANEL 2. BINY SLEAZE is still on the phone, pressed against
his shoulder while he's sharpening a machete.
BINY SLEAZE
I'm aware.
MAN ON PHONE
You find who took your money later,
maybe. Now, you need to send it
again. You get a bad reputation for
payments, you lose a lot more than
money, BINY.
PAGE 19. [FOUR PANELS]
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE sits back down at the desk, visibly
shaken by the prospect of losing money.
PANEL 2. He brings up a window to send payment for the
FORSYTH bounty.
PANEL 3. The teenagers in the corner sniffle, clinging to one
another in the corner of the room.
PANEL 4. BINY SLEAZE lashes out at the teenagers.
BINY SLEAZE
I can't fuckin' concentrate with
your pussy whimpering!
PAGE 20. [FOUR PANELS]
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE types the amount of 1,000,000.000 STEEM
in to the "send" dialog of a Poloniex style exchange, with a
clear recipient.
PANEL 2. BINY SLEAZE clicks "send".
PANEL 3. BINY SLEAZE waits.
PANEL 4. BINY SLEAZE stands up.
PAGE 21. [FOUR PANELS}
PANEL 1. BINY SLEAZE learned over and grabs his machete.
BINY SLEAZE (CONT'D)
Zero.
PANEL 2. BINY SLEAZE walks towards the teenagers.
BINY SLEAZE (CONT'D)
It's zero.
PANEL 3. BINY SLEAZE grabs the teenager by the hair and
dragging him towards a door.
BINY SLEAZE (CONT'D)
How? How?
PANEL 4. The door is closed behind them and the teenager
screams.
PAGE 22. [THREE PANELS]
PANEL 1. ALLAN GRAVES leans against a table, tattooing
STEEM/altcoin related art on the neck of his friend YORK
ELLIS.
YORK ELLIS
Have you noticed that as witnessing
gains influence and wealth, career
politicians are leaving Parliment
just to suck on the teet of the
blockchain?! They hate us, but they
can't fucking stop themselves!
PANEL 2. ALLAN GRAVES interrupts.
ALLAN GRAVES
They're just trying to survive,
mate. It's a new world and they're
clueless. They have no idea where
they belong.
PANEL 3. YORK ELLIS and ALLAN GRAVES continue their
discussion.
YORK ELLIS
...and THAT is why you're the
politician in this outfit.
PAGE 23. [THREE PANELS]
PANEL 1. MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI walks through a curtain
and alerts YORK ELLIS and ALLAN GRAVES that a man wants to
talk to them both.
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
There's a guy here. Want to talk to
you.
ALLAN GRAVES
Who is he?
PANEL 2. MARIANA AOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI explains the visitor and
his intentions.
MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
He says he can help with the
witness campaign. Should I tell him
to fuck off?
PANEL 3. ALLAN GRAVES replies to MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI
while YORK ELLIS blots his neck from the tattoo.
ALLAN GRAVES
Nah. Send him in.
PAGE 24. [One panel]
A Muslim man walks through the curtain and makes his
introduction to MARIANA APOSTOLAKIS MALFATTI, ALLAN GRAVES
and YORK ELLIS.
MUSLIM MAN
My friends. Your annoucement for
witness has inspired me. I'd like
to make campaign contribution.
YORK ELLIS
Appreciated. You could do that on
the website, though.
MUSLIM MAN
With all the recent currency hacks,
I'd feel more comfortable
transferring this amount in person.
ALLAN GRAVES
How much is it?
MUSLIM MAN
2,000,000 STEEM.
I just happened to glance at my feed 37 seconds after you posted this. It's great to see the project moving along. Your work and progress has been inspiring me (though I have been slacking lately!)
I'll have to give it a full read in the next couple days as I have the time. On first scan I'd recommend you look over the draft with an eye to possibly increasing your panel counts on some of the pages. You have a number of situations where there is a lot of back and forth dialog or multiple actions occurring within one panel that may be a nightmare to plan, especially in terms of word balloon placement and lettering. Page 24 is a good example. You'll need three separate speech areas coming from the Muslim Man with balloons from two other characters inserted at the right breaks in the conversation. That could get cluttered or confusing in a single panel splash page.
A page like page 4 should easily be 4 to 6 panels instead of two. Give yourself room to breath so your characters can do a bit of acting and show several different facial expressions during the back and forth conversation. Your obviously great at drawing those mannerisms!
Just a couple quick thoughts before I get to sleep! Take care and keep up the great work.
Yeah, you're absolutely right @bryan-imhoff. I ran in to the same problem with my previous comic, THEIA. I'm beginning to refine my process. Fortunately, as the writer and artist, I can make those adjustments on the page, but it's something I want to improve in my scripts because one day, I may want to take writing work for graphic novels, etc. Thanks so much for the feedback. I started following you a few weeks ago. It makes me so happy to see such great artists on Steemit, especially comic artists.
fina bilder
Thank you @ardina!
Wow! That is some beautiful imagery and it is not even complete. How long will it take for you to create a single page on average?
Seems you have a lot of work ahead of you. I look forwarded to seeing it.
Upvoted and followed
Thanks so much @mynameisbrian! Once I get in to a good stride, I'd like to complete 3 pages a week or more. It'll be a lot of work, but Steemit is still in beta. If and when this becomes mainstream, if I can turn close to $100 rewards per page or more [...which is realistic], it'd be enough that I could just focus on this comic and still pay my bills. Thanks for the follow and vote!
Bitcoin jacket!
This is brilliant! I feel like I'm reading the history of the future. Looking forward to reading more. ^_^