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Within the horror is beauty and salvation. But it takes much practice to stay balanced. First I had to learn this facing my own demons before I could face other people's demons. With meditation I learned my reaction to things I like and don't like happen in my own mind first...my anger, aversion, fear hurt me not anyone else. I must be responsible for my reactions, no one else can do this for me or I will always be avoiding life. My Buddhist teacher taught me several kinds of loving kindness and compassion meditations which heal and guard the mind from negativity.

I wasn't that lucky to find such kind of teacher yet. Only a really strange psychologist who only made me feel worse. So I ended up at psychiatrist's office. And now I want to wait a while untill my mood will be stable again before performing such experiments:)

Before you start metta meditation sit in a quite spot, feel comfortable and keep your back straight but relaxed. Follow your natural breath for 5 minutes with eyes closed. Relax!

Beautiful metta instructions
http://www.mettainstitute.org/mettameditation.html
This is my teacher SN Goenka www.dhamma.org, I was able to work with him at a vipassana retreat in the late 90s. Amazing human being!


Pema Chodron on compassion tonglen meditation

Thank you so much! Ill give it a try!:)

Even if they don't help now reading and trying out the meditation just one time will plant a healing seed.

Loving kindness called metta and compassion will help you level out a little bit, takes some practice, the effect isn't immediate. I know several simple meditations if your interested I can give you links.

I'd love to check them out:) I used some, but they were too far away from what I actually needed

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