If I could be anything, I would be...steemCreated with Sketch.

in art •  last year  (edited)

What a little girl wanted...

When I was a little girl it often happened that adults asked me: "What do you want to be, when you grow up?" I always answered that I will become a painter. I wanted to be an artist. I loved drawing and painting and also working with clay. I had a vision of my life: I am painting in an attic where I have my studio. So when I started the primary school, I became more and more sure that I wanted to go to artistic secondary school and become a painter. Why? What was the trigger for this wish and vision? I can not tell. There were never painters in our family and I really do not know why this was my childhood dream.

I wanted to become an artist...Source 1Source 2Source 3

What my parents wanted...

Life events, family opinion, and conditions of my life were not too supportive of this childhood fantasy. Parents were very clear in their view that they do not have a vision of having a daughter, who is a painter. (“Being a painter is not even a job!” “How do you intend to survive with paintings?” and such…) I was painting and making sculptures the whole time through my primary school. I also joined an artisan group and after-school activity where we were making art. I also liked working with wood and was making models of ships out of wood... But my parents were firm: you can not go to artistic secondary school, the school is too far away (200 km from my hometown) and this is not good for your future…

No, you can not go to art school! Source

If you have children, please never ignore what they are saying and expressing regarding their vision of future and their life calling!

When you are 15, it is very difficult if not impossible to go against the will of your parents. So I went to secondary school, which was not about art at all... It was about the economy. I still believed that when the time comes to enter university I will be able to apply on art faculty since I was making art as a hobby in my free time.

What life had in stock for me...

But life events or should I say destiny had other things ready for me… In the 2nd year of my secondary school, when I was 16 my father got cancer and died after 6 months of illness. This event totally changed everything... This was a tragic loss. So I was crushed emotionally. I had real difficulties to overcome this traumatic event and I was fighting depression and lack of motivation and ambition for several years... There was also the financial issue after one of my parents died. Thinking about artistic choices with the unknown job and financial outcome... well this was not on the table at all… Even going to the university was not a sure thing anymore... but if I wanted to study it had to be something that would make sure that I would be able to be financially independent as soon as possible. So I had studied economy and after finished university, I started to work... in a bank. This was so very far away from what I wanted to become…

So I became a banker. Source

So my working life started like this...

I started as a trainee and later became a business analyst, then manager of business analysts, continued as project manager and last 10 years worked as a manager of the marketing department. Well... it was not all that bad. To be honest: even I was all puzzled by the fact that I was really good at all my jobs in the bank. I was dedicated worker, had a lot of ideas for improvements and was very good at finding solutions. I did not lack people skills either. And the imagination that served me so well in my art endeavors was very handy and useful in all business situations too. I have to say I was surprised that I liked the work in the bank so much as I did. I would have never thought that this is what I could do... and still, I liked it most of the time. I developed many new banking products and services and later focused on how to put them on market with success. This was my reality for almost 18 years. Until five years ago...

Until 5 years ago something unusual happened...

Nobody, not even me expected that all those artistic dreams could still be my reality and this type of life is still waiting for me. As I said... I was very well positioned in a bank and it was steady, relatively safe and very well paid managerial job position. Like being in a gold cage… and it started to feel like a cage... And it did not feel good anymore. I actually remember the exact moment when I decided that I will resign my job in a bank. I was in last part of half-marathon (close to my home-town) and it was like a thunder-light: “ I no longer want to work in a bank. I want to try something new, where I will learn, and create and be passionate about!" I had no doubt about it. It came to my head like a very clear and (to me) sane and the only possible decision. It was like a wake-up call… I managed to gather a courage to step out of the gold cage. I gave myself a chance to go back to the realization of my childhood dream or at least to get so close to it as possible. It all happened very suddenly and still, it felt very organically and spontaneously.

First you have to step out, to be able to step up to a new level of the game... Source

It seemed very unusual decision just about to everybody except to me. Let me be very honest with you: I had no clue what exactly I will do for a living after my resigntion. I had no idea not even what kind of artistic, creative thing I want to do. I just had a very strong conviction that I have to resign. Did I resign?

Bye bye bank...

Yes! I came to work on Monday and wrote my resignation letter. It said: "Due to personal reasons... blah-blah-blah... I would like to come to the agreed conclusion of my working contract." The only people who knew what I am about to do this bold move were my daughter (who just got work and was financially independent), my boyfriend and my best friend. People who knew me knew me knew me as somebody who lives a fairly predictable life as an employee in a banking corporation. I am somebody who likes safety and is rather risk averse... But something strange happened to me on that run.

Suddenly It felt much more risky for my happiness and health if I continue to work where I am than trying something that I will really enjoy. Was I scared? Not so much, since I am a fairly structured person. Of course I had a plan B... I said to myself: "Even if you fail, you can consider this attempt as a success in sense that you at least tried and then you can always apply for similar job .. your CV is fine and it will be ok even if you "fail"."

Yes, you can start from scratch...

It took a good year and a half to establish my new life and maybe another half year in addition when I really started to enjoy my new reality. So what do I do? After my resignation, I started a small company that enables me to be an origami creator and teacher (which is actually very artistic endeavor and not so far away from my childhood dream). I just love it. I like folding paper and finding new, unexpected applications with origami techniqu and I also like to be on origami workshops.

Some of my origami work. You can find more here

I also opened another company where the core business is education. I teach mostly managers (I know them well, I used to be one) how to be productive, efficient yet stress-free. I love this part of my job combo as well!

Last but not least I now have more time for my third love: running. In a way running saved my life … it led me to the life I always wanted to live. The idea of pursuing something new that occurred to me on one of my races totally changed my life. So... If I could be anything currently I would like to continue to be what and who I am!

daily runner triptih slogan spodaj.jpg
Running is a universal cure for almost anything... it can help you find your life purpose...

What if...

Would I be happier if I really managed to become an artist and independent entrepreneur sooner? I have no clue... Also, there is no possibility for us to go back in time. We can just build new blocks of our life out of what we have. But it is good to know that who we currently are is not permanent. I never felt strong regret about past. When I was analyzing how could I so smoothly go from banking to art and teaching, I had to conclude that a lot of things I learned helped me a lot when I started to work on my own (many skills, marketing know-how, managerial experiences, negotiation skills). Last but not least: some savings from well enough paid job position helped me to enter my new job era in a comfortable non-fussy way. Life is interesting and it has ways to challenge you and gives you new opportunities. Seize them!


Your hopes and dreams are telling you where to go...

You have the possibility to form your life. I was already in my early forties when I decided to really change the way I lived. If you are happy... great and keep on going. If you are not: you can do much more than you fear and even much more than you hope!

Seize your life!

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This competition was prepared by @wolfje and you can participate too! Comptetition post describes the rules and instructions. If you could be anything, ... what would you be?

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In few words...
I joined Steemit in December 2017. @blockchain48 introduced me to it and explained to me how it works and why I could enjoy it. And I do enjoy it! I like the diversity and spirit of Steemit!
My main topic here is running. I also work on @runningproject (initiator of the project is @toofasteddie) as a Running Witness. I also regularly apply my running posts in #runforsteem challenge. I also post about origami and GTD (Getting Things Done).

You might get a better picture of who I am and what I do and aspire for if you read some of my other posts:
- My core daily habit is running. If you do not run yet and would like to try it... I've written a blog: Manual for wannabe runners, where you can find tips and tricks, how to start running.
- As a Streak Runner, I wanted to share more information about this specific running approach. You can read more about Streak Running in my blog All you wanted to know about Running Streak - part 1, part 2 and part 3.
- I am revealing about my first steps in running arena in this post: How I started to run or can a workaholic and sedentary couch potato become a marathon runner?.
- I am certified GTD trainer so occasionally I write about Gettint Things Done methodology.
- I love origami and here is my post about the art of folding papers or what anybody should know about it.
- This was my introduction post on Steemit: 2018 is here! Any New Year's resolutions? And who am I to write about this?.

So to be short and sweet, my introduction in #-form would look like this:
#streakrunningday684 #runner #mother #girlfriend #friend #daughter #sister #vegan #steemian #origamicreator #origami #gtdmastertrainer #gtd #gettingdailyrunsdone #bizinsakiden #findyourstrong #runningproject #runforsteem #vsakodnevnitek #runeveryday #runstreak #streakrunner #veganrunners #runningonplants #plantpowered #plantstrong #veganstrong #compassionarhlete #minimalism #catlover #sealover #coffeelover #sincereconversationfan

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Takes a lot of bravery to leave a job that is well paying and stable to follow your passion. Well done. I feel like if more people could follow their hearts rather than their wallets, the world would be in better shape than it is today.

Thank you for this nicely formulated comment! Truth be told. And if I may add: wallets are usually just fine if you really work what you love :)

Wow thats a great post. Its interesting how we go along with what everyone else wants of us and never take a moment to ask ourselves if we are happy with that. I've been guilty of that on many occasions and still don't live my life 100% on my own terms...Hopefully I will continue to change.
Thanks again and can't wait to here some more.
Regards @run.vince.run

Oh, thank you for this kind comment! I try to be honest but realistic about my life change. And I think there are even next levels of personal honesty also for me... and I am going in that direction. I am sure you will continue to change in the direction you feel as "more you". How do I know? You are expressing hope about it... and this is a very strong fuel for changes! Fingers crossed!

WOW, great entry. I can totally empthasize with this, especially the part about not being able to do what you want to do when you set out in life on your own. Sometimes I feel kids are forced to make important decisions about their future too soon, before they really have a clue about what life is like and what responsibilities they're going to have to carry in the future. Thanks for your participation in my competition and good luck!

Thank you @wolfje for having this competition, so I had a nudge to put together my story. My personal experience tells me that it is important to help children to develop areas that they are attracted to. And that they develop the flexible attitude: so they are mindful what is happening, how they feel and they react accordingly. It is never too late. But it is much easier if you start like this...