BEASTLY TALES

OTTO TENDS BAR

Fritz, a good friend of Otto,
Owned a Cocktail Bar called the Blue Grotto.
On a Saturday night, which was quite busy,
Fritz would run the bar, with his waitress Lizzie.
One Saturday, as it happened, Fritz was ill.
He phoned Otto, “Could you fill the bill?”
“And stand in for me at the cocktail lounge”
“I’m quite desperate, which is why you I do scrounge.”
“If I weren’t so desperate, I’d get someone else,”
“But I’m stuck with you, and your beer smells.”
“All you have to do is fill the drink orders,”
“And change the tapes on the music recorders.”
“Be sure to make that cash register ring.”
“And, later, to me, the takings bring.”

Well, does a fish like water? Of course it does.
For Otto this opportunity gave a real buzz.
Cocktails galore, and beer on tap,
This was just perfect for this Otto sap!
He turned up precisely at six o’clock.
Now Otto was in for a bit of a shock.
The bar hadn’t been cleaned from the previous night.
All that work gave Otto a very big fright.
Almost at once, he got himself busy,
But not before he had something amber and fizzy.
He was swabbing tables when the front door did open,
It was Lizzie, as he had been hoping.
“Otto, leave all that to me.”
Otto, glad to drop cloth and flee,
Went to his station behind the bar,
And served himself a foaming jar.
A bowl of nuts was not far,
Bliss! Otto relished such work,
His bidden duty, he would not shirk.

And so the night wore on,
Otto looked at his watch, where had time gone?
He was filling another tray with glasses,
When in came a group of silly asses.
“Inn-Keeper”, shouted one, in a manner most vile,
“Charge our glasses before I rile!”
Otto filled pint glasses with beer,
All of a sudden, he was feeling queer.
He felt hot, and so very flushed.
He looked at the customers with deep disgust.
Otto reached for the extendable beer tap,
And filled his mouth ‘till it ran on his lap.
He did this once, twice and thrice,
Deciding the experience to be very nice.
He repeated it quite a few times,
And frequently repeated it until the clock chimes.

Twelve midnight, it was time to close,
Otto felt he didn’t want to impose,
On his customers, so he waited a while,
“Time, Ladies and Gentlemen, please!”
Some of them were down on their knees.
But eventually Otto got them all out,
Turning to Lizzie he said, “It’s my shout!”
But Lizzie had had quite enough,
She’d seen Otto drinking much stuff,
Especially direct from the beer tap.
She couldn’t wait to be shot of this sap,
Otto saw how Lizzie remained busy,
Wondering just why Lizzie was in a tizzy?