Sos. I need your help!

Update : Today we lost our Mooburt Oi March 10 2006- feb 14 2019 Death came peacefully he looked relieved Goodspeed my love <3 you are in my heart Always <3 Thank you to everybody who helped cover his vet and funeral costs <3 And those who shared the post <3

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Dear friends and supporters the time has come where forcing MooBurt to live like this has become more than cruel. Fact is however that having over 2600$ in vet costs these past 2 months has left me totally wiped out and most of the people who helped me wiped out as well. while my vet previously gave credit to people like me he no longer does because other people defrauded him to the point that he no longer has the luxury to be charitable and let me pay it of over time. I do not know what to do at this point, he is losing weight in such rapid pace despite being fed two times a day and copious amounts of wet food and vegan baby formula. He is on lasix to remove the fluid in his lungs but it is only helping marginally; every breath is laboured and yet he cries for hours and sometimes even holding him no longer calms him. He then bites the air out of frustration with such force that it would crush fingers if i were not careful. I know there are those of you who have written me telling me how I do not have the right to kill another living soul and that is makes me a “murderous bitch “ to quote the least friendly one and “brainwashed” the more friendlier ones, or that I am playing god.

The thing is that you people do not understand that I am not just doing this on a whim and having a field day with it. I agonise, I bleed and I flog myself far more than any of you ever could. Taking a life changes you, nothing is ever the same after it. You loose innocence that can never be retrieved. I have killed, more than once and not vicariously through others either. It was always either to end incredible suffering or to protect life and innocents. But yes as human I also bear the vicarious burden of my races crimes against the planet and the other beings living on it, as well as my own when I was not vegan. While I was vegetarian since the age of 12 I only turned vegan 10 years ago after realising two things - 1 how cruel the industry is and how much suffering I was still causing and 2- that unlike what I was taught by mainstream humanity, no being should have the right to enslave another - it is barbaric and fundamentally evil.

Death and I we courted each other a long time. First as teen and preteen where I became goth girl idolising master Morte spending time in the morgue and in cemeteries. And because of my wretched childhood and the insanity of overwhelming emotions tried multiple times to take my life both actively and by very dangerous life choices. As young adult I ran with a group of street kids and of these there are only 2 survivors, I and another who cleaned his life up and became a psychologist. There was a time in my life where I meddled in things that can turn deadly quick, going against druglords and pimps and other shady characters with no sense or reason. I have seen death in the friends I lost to aids in the 80’s, in the friends who died as soldiers fighting wars they believed to be just - just to find out they had been dooped into doing dirty work for the nefarious. I have held the hand of friends dying of cancer singing to them, moistening cracked lips washing their ravaged bodies to give them comfort. I have seen death in the fighting pits of druglords where I saved as many dogs as I could by peril of my own life and I have broken the law to steal animals from laboratories and away form death’s reach. I have seen humans and non humans bleed out, disembowelled , decapitated , with limbs blown and cut off screaming to live, screaming to die. I carry secrets and images that have changed me forever. There is a stain on my soul that will never come off- so no I DO NOT TAKE DEATH LIGHTLY, and the choice to end my furchild ’s suffering is not the easy way out, as I was accused of.

I was there at Mooburt’s birth I saw his first breath and I will not abandon him on his last , but I will also not let him suffer just to keep him here when he has no once of joy dong it anymore. You people are not here listening to him cry for hours, nor are you sitting in the dark listening to his laboured breathing. Love, if it is real, means more than the enjoyment of the gift of connection. It means sacrifice, it means putting the other above your need for them, it means losing a part of your soul if they need you to do things they cannot do themselves. Fact leaving him to either drown in the fluid in his lungs or slowly starve to death is not love, it is indulgence and selfishness. Another fact I cannot do it on my own this time so I need the funds to help him. The sedation is 50$ - the euthanasia drugs are 90$ funeral cost will be 175$- at this time If, I have to, I will forgo the funeral ; even if it kills me to give his body over do those who will not care for it . Right now helping him is the most important so if anyone can please do paypal is [email protected] . I will be sending this out to some of you through messenger as well, as I at this point beyond desperate. I do not want to make him wait until the first, when my money comes in, it would be 15 more days of suffering and despair for someone who cannot help himself. As always thank you for your interest and support.

Alex and the furries

Update
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thanks to several generous donations I have Mooburts medical costs and part of the funeral costs so all I need is another 125 for his funeral costs thank you to everyone who has shared and donated so far <3

thanks to more donations I only need 60$ more and I will have the funeral costs too thank you to everyone who has shared and donated so far <3

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_{(Image credit Dave Renike and a portrait of the fair jubilee made by myself turned into this here universal truth meme)}

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_{art courtesy of @PegasusPhysics}

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_{this little girl was made for me by @barbara-orenya}