Strange Interchange With A Badge-wearing Person In A Golf Cart (SATIRE)

Voluntaryist courageously speaks truth while being coerced on the side of the road.  

Voluntaryist is walking back to car parked in the street.  Notices a uniformed, badge-wearing person scribbling on small pad of paper.  Also notices a golf cart that says “parking enforcement” on the side.  Runs frantically to car and to confront badge-wearing person.

Voluntaryist:  That’s ok, I’m not interested! I’ve already got one! Save the paper!
Badge-wearing rights violator (puzzled):  What?

Voluntaryist:  You’re leaving an ad on my car, right?
Rights-violator (rolls eyes):  This is your car?

Voluntaryist (feigning pride):  Yep, full of 100 year old gas guzzling technology.  Don’t you think it’s odd that so few fuel options and propulsion technologies exist? It’s as if we have a centrally planned economy, and not a free market......

Rights-violator:  I’m giving you a ticket.    
Voluntaryist:  For a concert? A movie? An art exhibit?

Rights-violator:  Tryin to be funny ain’t gonna change nothin.   
Voluntaryist (gasps):  Oh, you mean ticket, as in, a tool used in a violent extortion racket by a mob with fancy titles called government?

Rights-violator gives sideways glance and hands ticket to Voluntaryist.

Voluntaryist:  Why are you participating in this extortion racket?
Rights-violator:  I’m just doing my job.

Voluntaryist (chuckles):  When will the human race realize that there is never a good reason to do evil? So what will happen if I don’t move my car now?

Rights-violator:  If you don’t move your car in the next 24 hours, then it’ll get impounded.
Voluntaryist:  Ah, when you say impounded, you mean stolen and held for ransom?

Rights-violator (annoyed):  No, that’s not what I mean.
Voluntaryist:  Would you be so kind as to explain the difference between “impounding” and “holding for ransom”?

Rights-violator (hands on hips);  Yeah, one’s legal, and the other ain’t.
Voluntaryist:  But they are the same action! How can one action be right and wrong at the same time?

Rights-violator:  I ain’t said nothin bout right and wrong.  I said legal.
Voluntaryist:  Are you speaking of law?

Rights-violator:  Man, where are you from? Of course.
Voluntaryist:  Natural Law or man’s law?

Rights-violator:  I ain’t no lawyer.  Like I said, I’m just doing my job.  You’ve got 30 days to pay the ticket and 24 hours to move your car.
Voluntaryist (sarcastic):  How can I hand currency to a ticket? It has no way of grasping or processing payments, does it?

Rights-violator:  I told you tryin to be funny ain’t gonna help.    
Voluntaryist:  Actually, it helps a great deal in my ability to deal with this insane, immoral, ignorant slave society.

Rights-violator:  Ok, whatever.  I gotta go.
Voluntaryist:  One final question, please.  What if I don’t pay the desk mob?

Rights-violator:  The what?
Voluntaryist:  Bureaucratic sector of government.    

Rights-violator:  Then your license will get suspended and you’ll have to pay late fees.

Voluntaryist:  So I’ll get extorted more and if caught driving without a tracking card called a license, then I’ll be violently stopped from driving? And you think we’re free?

Rights-violator:  Not my problem.  (struts away)
Voluntaryist (shouting after the rights-violator):  Actually, not being free is a problem for everyone! This does effect you!

THE END 

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