Getting Girlfriends for My Husband--Why I Encourage Him to Sleep With Other Women

You might be thinking, "Wow! She's the coolest wife on the planet!" And yeah, I am. :)

But, there's a reason behind why I do what I do. You see, I got married super young to a man much older than me. And, we've been married for 20 years. 

It's not the length of the marriage and just being "over it" that makes me go out and find other women for him, or vet the ones he finds. I've been doing that practically from the beginning. 

Think it's weird? It's really not. 

While it's DEFINITELY not for everyone, it works well for me, in particular (though there are obvious benefits for him, too). 

Here's why.

I TRULY Believe No Adult Has the Right to Dictate What Another Adult Should Do, Even in a Marriage

I've seen how other women often treat their husbands. They nag them. They demand things of them. They even dictate what they can eat, when they can eat it, who they can see, when they can see them, and practically micro-manage every aspect of their lives.

Unless a guy has a kink where he likes that sort of thing (and it exists, believe me), most men resent being told what to do. 

I certainly resent anyone trying to tell ME what to do. Oh, it does NOT work out well for them.

So, wanting to treat others as I would want to be treated, I give the other adults in my life total freedom to be who they are and do what they want, as long as they're not physically hurting me or someone I love.

Going by that belief, it is my firm conviction that if my husband wants to have sex with another woman, it's not my business to say "no." He has every right as an autonomous adult to do so.

Now, if he was sneaking around and doing this, and I didn't like it, I would have every right as an autonomous adult to walk away from the relationship. But, I don't mind him doing it. 

Why, you ask? It's simple.

Encouraging My Husband to Have Sex With Other Women Benefits Me in a Variety of Ways

Yes, it sure does. How? What benefits could I possibly derive from encouraging my husband to sleep around? 

Well, let me enlighten you. 

1. It Makes Him Happy. When He's Happy, I'M Happy

 

As you may or may not have read in my previous post on my marriage, my husband is a difficult man with mental health issues, and he has a tendency to be grumpy, unpleasant, and emotionally abusive. I don't think he even realizes he is this way, as HE seems to think he's pretty awesome, and any woman would be lucky to have him.

But, when he's happy, he genuinely is a joy to be around. Underneath all the bad temper and personality defects from years of abuse as a child is a kind, compassionate, intelligent, fun person. When he's having sex with someone new, it cheers him up. That makes life around the house a LOT nicer for me. 

When he's happy, he does nice things for me he normally doesn't do, like give me massages, rub my feet, take me to an expensive restaurant, and buy me nice presents. 

What woman doesn't like that?

If letting him sleep with other women brings me tangible benefits, and gives me a glimpse of the man I married once more, I'm all for it (incidentally, this "cheering up" quality is also why I fully support him smoking all the weed he likes, as it brings me similar benefits).

 

2. It Takes the Heat Off Me

Most of the time, his relationships with other women only last a few months. He either gets tired of them, or they realize he's got issues before too long. I enjoy it while these other women are around. He pays much more attention to them than to me.

I like that, because when he doesn't have another woman to distract him, ALL of his attention is on me. He's paranoid (part of his mental health diagnosis), so wherever I go without him, whatever I'm doing online that he can't see, he's suspicious of it. I can't stand that.

When he's enjoying a new relationship with a woman, he takes her places, talks to her on the phone all the time, and watches movies in his bedroom with her (we have separate bedrooms, and I love it...a tale for another time).

While he's all caught up with her, I can do whatever I damn well please, and he pays no attention to it at all. FREEDOM, SWEET, SWEET FREEDOM!

I've been known to make breakfast in bed for he and his lady friends, as a "thank you" for the lady for taking him off my hands for a while. 

She thinks I'm being cool, but she has no idea the favor SHE is actually doing for ME.

3. I Might Make a New Friend

We can all use new friends, right? Even though most of his time with a new lady is spent just with her, we inevitably all three do at least SOMETHING together. 

The most recent one, for example, was a psychic who read our cards for us one night when all three of us were hanging out in the living room together. Hey, a free reading from a professional I'd normally have to pay like $60 to for the same service. Can't beat that, right?

We usually end up having conversations, and discover we have things in common. Every now and then, we stay in touch after she and my husband have stopped seeing each other.

Sometimes, I offer counsel and comfort to the woman if HE is the one to end things. I've gotten sad, confused texts and sobbing phone calls from women wondering why my husband won't call or talk to them anymore. I do my best to cheer them up and let them know it's just his way, and that they're awesome just as they are.

A Happier Marriage Through Giving Your Spouse Freedom to Have Sex With Other People--Who Knew?

I never thought I'd be a woman who would actively encourage her spouse to have sex, and even relationships, with other women. 

Heck, I still get infuriated at the thought of my high school ex potentially having had sex with one of my rivals for his affection. I don't KNOW if they did, but I can't stand the thought of it IF they did. 

I'm not jealous of these other women with my husband at all.

Sometimes, I go out of my way to find nice women for him....usually women I think I'll like as friends for me. Other times, and most usually, he finds someone himself and lets me meet her online before bringing her over to the house.

You'd be surprised at how many women don't care that they're dating a married man, and having sex with him in his house while his wife is there!

Those women are a gift to me.

God bless them.