"We broke up but I want to win her back. Please help!"

Hi,

My girlfriend and I have been going out for 4 months. I really love her and I cannot live without her. Only last month we broke up because of a misunderstanding. I really want to go on with our relationship. Please help me win her back as she doesn’t even talk to me anymore.

Mr. Lost

Credit: colossal

Hi Lost,

I feel that you must be heartbroken. It is always very painful when you “lose” someone that you feel so close to.

Firstly, if you feel that there was a misunderstanding then correct it. She doesn't want to talk to you? Send her a letter. Do not force yourself on her but find a way to gently and respectfully deliver your message to clear up the fog.

There is more to it, however than a mere break up. This is an experience for you to learn from. True, it needs a lot of inner strength, to be honest with oneself and not to make it about the other. As much as I would like to give you a step by step solution to win her back, I must tell you that the way to your inner healing will not be in winning her back.

You will have to accept the new situation because it is not in your power - nor should it be - to change her mind if she is not willing.

Instead, this is an indication for you to let her go and take a step back which, you can be certain, will be a huge step forward.

From every relationship, even if it was just one of four months, we receive a healing of our own soul, if we are only willing to have a closer look inside. You are a sovereign and independent soul. You are a strong individual who can become a great creator of life. As such, it is not appropriate to be dependent on someone else; if you always feel that "you cannot live without her" then life will teach you that you can! This is one of the greatest yet most difficult lessons of human experience - to learn to detach from externalities.

Try not to get your hopes up that maybe one day she will come back to you. Perhaps she will but perhaps not. If you stick to her you will only put obstacles on your way, preventing you from meeting another lovely girl who will give you more than you could ever have hoped for from your ex-girlfriend. And even if right now you feel sad and your heart seems to be breaking, I can assure you that there will be this other girl waiting for you.

Good luck to you.

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