"I yearn to meet my One and live happily ever after" – is the 'Twin soul' idea real or a myth?

Excerpt: How many times have you heard people say - "I am longing to be with my twin soul/my other-half"? Is such an aspiration real? Is the ultimate goal in our romantic life should be to reunite with another human, The One? In this article, I claim that the notion of twin soul was indoctrinated into our minds and that in reality what we call true-love begins when we unite with our soul level. Furthermore, waiting for a loved one to come to complete us is the fast way to a miserable life. Rather, one should get themselves out of the duality, claim self-love, and then everything will come to them, including what is perceived to be "The One".

(c) nomad-magus

For a long time, when I was much younger, I used to believe that once I would meet my One, a girl that would fit exactly what my heart and my mind longed for, I would be happy and whole. This belief, like a guiding light, had led me to wonderful adventures which allowed me, compelled me, to grow and expand my awareness. With those experiences came the understanding that the belief I was holding about the "twin soul" is ancient as humanity is, and it is high time I let it go. With the release came liberation, and joy that I could had not fathomed before I embarked on the journey.

Let's examine this "twin soul/other-half" idea -

Throughout the years, I have often heard women who said: “he fulfills me”; “he is completing me in everything”; “we match so perfectly because together we are a complete one unit”; or men who reassure their spouses by saying: “she is my other half”; or a young loving couple who states in each other's ears and to the rest of the world that they are “two parts of one big whole”. All of the above statements are expressed from a dualistic perspective and testify that although the relationship might be beautiful, magical, rewarding and enjoyable it remains in the confinements of the box of dualism. If our intention is to grow towards the limitless True Love then we must step out of the duality. It’s high time we faced old notions as “twin flame” or “the other half” with courage and flexibility.

Although the well-known notion Twin-flame embodies grand spiritual truth, it is still not the final destination for a human being who seeks mastery or happiness. A person who we see as our complement is not our True Love.

From a subjective point of view, those who see their spouse as their True Love cannot be wrong of course. This is their subjective experience. From their limited state of consciousness, their spouse indeed seems to be their True Love for s/he plants in them the feelings they expect to receive from a true lover: gentleness, care, empathy, protection, intimacy, and completion. However, those people lack to see that True Love is far grander and eventually the subjective illusion they have proliferated fades away, leaving them with the puzzling thoughts: “is that all?”; “is that everything that a True love relationship can offer me!?"

What is a true love relationship?

When eventually a True Love relationship is created such questions are never asked. True Love does not exist in our lives to offer us something or to fulfill needs. Our True Lover, our spouse, does not carry any shred of responsibility to our own life nor s/he is there to save us from unfortunate life circumstances.

Evidently, our modern culture has educated us to think differently. A feature film as "Pretty Woman" with the actress Julia Roberts, presents that exact attitude – a rich and handsome man, prince charming, saved a good-hearted young girl whose misfortunate life-circumstances had led her to become a prostitute. Once he pulled her out of the poor situation they could live happily ever after. Another film starring the same actress described a similar idea. In "Noting Hill", a famous movie star arrived in Great Britain and accidentally fell in love with an anonymous bookseller (Hugh Grant) whom she eventually saved from a boring and meaningless life. Here again, they lived happily ever after. Although such approaches towards love are emotional, romantic and appropriately touch our hearts, they only present a partial and incomplete picture of what really goes behind the scenes when it comes to relationships. There is 50% chance that the Pretty-women's or Noting Hill's couples have divorced and are no longer living together.

The faulty doctrine that our culture nourishes claims that each human being has only one twin soul whom they will meet if and when they behave well enough or if they are lucky enough. Moreover, such encounter will mark the ending of all their sufferings in this lifetime. The higher truth, however, is different and much more comforting. Those of us who thought they had lost a great love when they were young, or have felt they have missed their twin flame, should find great comfort and encouragement in the following words.
The Higher Truth

(c) nomad-magus

The psychic relationships between the human beings in our world is a complex tapestry which resembles a family tree. There is the main branch that splits into sub-categories and fine fragments up to the individual person. Each human being is placed at one specific spot on that diagram from which they can move upwards according to their spiritual development. When a man meets a woman whom towards he feels great closeness, it means that those two individuals belong to the same department on that family tree which split from the same soul. In that meaning, they are indeed twin souls. However, it does not mean that they are the sole and only twin souls to each other. The family tree is huge, enormous and infinite and the higher we progress on it the bigger the chances that we would find additional twin souls with whom our connection would be even stronger, deeper and more rewarding compared to the initial relationship with our first lover whom we met in the early days of our life. It is not a surprise then to witness many couples who describe their current relationship as their most loving and rewarding one compared to their previous love affairs.

Each and every relationship that we experience which involves emotional entanglements - in the neutral sense of that word – IS a relationship with a twin soul. Sometimes such relationship lasts for a very short period of time, a few days perhaps, only to leave us with many thoughts and inspirations that further ignite our growth. In other times a connection with a twin soul may last for many years, lifetimes and beyond. In both cases, it is a twin-soul type of relationship. A woman who says that she might never love again like she loved her first sweetheart only twists the reality and dooms herself to a life of solitude and misery. Her stubbornness to keep holding to that old and fragile branch would surely impede her from growing upwards to find a greater love, her True Love.

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In future posts, I will describe in details the nature of that true love and what it means exactly to us, the human beings who live and love in the physical world.

Credit: a detail of “Don Quixote De La Mancha” painted by Augusto Ferrer-Dalmau

In conclusions: for those of you, regardless your states or age, who still yearn to find great love, remember that it's never too late. The point of power is in the now moment, from which spring ample opportunities for many beautiful relationships with many of your own soul-mates. Follow your heart and if it tells you to search for your one then do not listen to me or anyone else who tells you it's a myth. There is a reason why "the one" concept was imprinted in your mind/heart and the quest, albeit it's a Don Quixote one, will reveal to you great truths.

Good luck!

You are most welcome to write in the comments your own dilemmas, questions, or dreams and I'll reply with my suggested inputs.