LET'S TALK: IS THIS DANGEROUS?
LET'S TALK IS BASED ON LIFE SCENARIO
CASE SCENARIO
A 16 years old R. M. from Port-Harcourt, Nigeria is a bit confuse on the topic of masturbation. He said his biology teacher tells him that masturbation is medically dangerous. Recently however, he read a book which says just the opposite. Now he needs some advise.
OPINION
Medically speaking we know that masturbation does not lead to any disease, medical or psychological. It is infinitely better than going to a cheap woman and contracting some frightful disease. I would however, advise young men to find better avenues of activities to keep them diverted from the need to masturbate.
Some whom have engaged in it have complained of developing guilty conscience, maybe for some religious reasons and rules. Some are of the thought that addicted practice of it can affect your sexual performance with a woman when the time and need comes as your body system may begin to adopt to whatever tools or method that is being used.
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NOTE:
Your contributions, opinion and comment will be highly appreciated.
For whoever wants to know... why I am an "authority" on this subject...
I am a male, I was sexually abused at the age of 3 by a female baby-sitter, I started acting-out sexually from the age of about 5, that developed into serious problems over my lifetime, and I ended up incarcerated in a mental hospital where I received over 7 years of behavioral/sexual reconditioning and treatment on a full-time basis. I am now married, coming up on my 2-year anniversiary, and still actively working on healthy sexual therapies with my wife.
Does having "sexual problems" make me an expert on the topic? NO. However, I would argue that having had significant sexual problems in my life, and learning how to successfully improve in this area, I do know more about this topic than the average person.
Masturbation does not cause any diseases or obvious physical problems for normal human development in either males or females. Unless you are physically wearing-out your sexual parts (which some sex addicts do), there is no physical harm done - except for one very important thing: your actual, physical brain.
You see, sexual climax is the single most accessible and intense stimulation of the pleasure-centers of the human brain. Physical sexual release is proven to actually, physically cause changes in the brain up in your skull. This has massive potential to effect your future sexual well-being.
Now, young men masturbating is common. What is also very common are images of women & pornography. Porn addiction will cause you problems in your sex life the longer you look at it. Basically, your brain will change - and the only thing that will give you sexual pleasure is the act of looking at pornography. Why is this a problem? Most of our wives are not porn-stars. They don't look like porn-stars, and they don't have sex like pornstars. So, it quite common for men not to be all that aroused by their wives. This is a big problem in the marriage relationship. It can be worked on and "fixed," to some extent, but it is a very difficult thing to change your behavior and re-wire the physical structure of your brain.
If you can avoid messing up your brain, that is definitely easier and preferable to trying to fix your brain after you damage it. So, basically, the things you must watch out for with masturbation are not physical damage to your sexual apparatus, or contracting a disease - it's how you're wiring your physical brain for future sexual relations with your chosen wife or life partner.
Religion, culture, and the environment of sexuality from your family of origin often tend towards causing developing children some problems later in life. Guilt, secrecy, shame, etc. are all emotions which generally inhibit healthy sexual development and activity. These often require many other hours of working through, or "therapy," before you develop a good sense of your own values and what works best for you.
Most importantly, my current working definition of "good sex" is engaging in sexual activity where you feel good about the entire experience: before, during, and after. If you feel good physically, emotionally, and spiritually with whatever sexual activity you choose to engage in - that's really what sex is all about.
Personally, I think masturbation is the most common sexual activity in the human experience. It can be a good thing - but it can also be a bad thing. Learning that sex is about LOVE, NOT LUST - that is also a very important thing to consider. Masturbation generally falls into the "selfish/lust" category of behavior. So, do it - but keep it to a minimum, if possible. I know it's hard for guys when you are 16 or 17 - so do not feel too bad about working out your physical needs when you must.
@bi5h0p, thanks for the detailed and elaborate comment on this issue. You said it all, the actual damage is in the brain and not physical.
Do you know how those whose brain has been affected by this act can be helped?
That requires hard work. Probably many hours of counseling. Start with a close friend who is mature and has dealt with these kinds of issues. People damaged in this way have to learn how to form true relationships. Re-wiring a brain that has been conditioned in the wrong way requires many hours of behavioral therapy/sexual reconditioning and the help of trained professionals is generally needed.
Remember: a persons' brain is an actual, physical organ - and it can continue to "learn" and change well into a persons elderly years. You can teach an old dog new tricks, but it is harder and it takes longer. Remember the story of "The Tortiose and the Hare?" The turtle wins the race.
If you are trying to help somebody in this way, it will be important for you to do some serious research online regarding sexual reconditioning and behavioral therapy. Buy and get your hands on some good books on the topic.
Thanks Friend. You have been very helpful.
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Thanks friend.
It seems everything has been pointed out from the comment above. Anything excessive is dangerous. Be in tune to your body and your partner's needs.
Thank you very much
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