Warning Signs II. Contributed by @Olawalium
...continued…
He is an unrepentant cheater and yet you feel he would change when he can’t change now? If he changes later due to age and experience, then life only humbled him, he didn’t do it for you or because he felt he has done wrong.
She lies at every turn and you feel you need to do more so you can win her over? You will always spend your life trying to impress her. When you watch how people react after they have been caught the first time to second time, it says a lot about them. Some don’t care, some are so remorseful and willing to change but it is still a bit dicey because, as human, we tend to take undue advantage.
When we mess up once and we have been forgiven, we tend to think it doesn’t matter what we do, we will always be forgiven. The bottom line is, at the moment when you have seen how this person has been, be honest with yourself, think with your head and be objective. Seek for help too when your emotions seem to be getting in the way.
This is what I do with my friends when they seem to be unable to decide, I do warn them and try to maintain a clear head. When I give some of them my objective answer, they still tilt towards their emotions and end up getting more burnt.
I remember my friend, she told me about this guy and the moment she told me, I had reservations. I didn’t need to discourage her, I needed to be sure too. She always carries me along and I always tell her what to do. The moment I realized this guy is just not worth it, I told her, but she didn’t listen. I see that she is the one in love with this guy and this guy isn’t, maybe he did love her, but he has a terrible way of showing it. When she failed to listen I let her be because I am not the type to force things.
She chatted me up last month to tell me she is leaving the guy and I should help her draft a message. Well as a friend, I still did. The guy saw the message and started texting and calling her. At the point of messaging the guy, she called his mother to tell her what the guy did again. I told her point blank that, calling the mother means she needed assurance, and she wants the mother to change him for her.
The point is, he needs to know what he is doing wrong before he changes, but he is not seeing it. After the guy called and begged, as usual, she told me she will continue with him but she is on the lookout for another boyfriend.
I shook my head because I knew I was right all along, and the truth is, she wants the guy to change by force. She is keeping that faint hope. Oh! Did I say they are not even engaged? They are just normal boyfriend and girlfriend. If at this stage, he is acting uncaring about you, choosing to go out with his friends while leaving you in the house from morning till late at night, without asking you to come along, heed the warning sign.
I can only imagine the havoc this guy would wreck when they marry. A great warning sign she is refusing to pay attention to.
...to be continued...
Thank you for your time.
My pen doesn’t bleed, it speaks, with speed and ease.
Still me,
My tongue is like the pen of a ready writer.
Olawalium; (Love’s chemical content, in human form). Take a dose today: doctor’s order.
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It happens and its just shit to me. You cant force human to change, they would just pretend for some while and then back to what they are. Relationships is not what to force someone to, once you notice they are not ready for you let them be and dont force them, you wont regret it now but later cos they will later just dump you when you may not be able to move on
Its not always easy but Better try now to just leave them or you later hate yourself
Good one brother. That is just it. Don't force it. If the person wants to change, it should be his or her choice because no one can force anyone. Relationship requires sacrifice and only when we are conscious of this can we be able to do what's necessary. Once we are not willing to go that extra length and we feel doing that forces us out of our comfort zone, then it is better to look for who we can be our self around.
I know him, he can't force his opinion on anyone, he will tell you, it's up to you to listen or not to listen....
You are very correct, I won't call the guy a bad guy but it's obvious they are not meant for each other.
He needs a lady like him and she needs a guy like her too. It's obvious they are not each others type
She should not allow herself to be blindfolded by wrong emotions.
I hope she's able to see from your angle.