I'm Losing Hope
It's Saturday night and I have a lot on my mind. As has been the trend recently, I am feeling quite hopeless in regards to the future of humanity.
Since 2009 I have spent nearly every moment of my life making an effort to educate myself about the truths of our world - the truth about the banking system, the truth about government, the truth about the hidden power structures that exist in our world and all of their depraved criminal lifestyles. I have spent every moment since 2010 attempting to "wake people up" to these ideas and many more. This paradigm shift has lead me on the most amazing journey - meeting so many great people, learning several new skills (including journalism) breaking out of my introvert shell, having an effect on my community and the world, and learning so much about myself in the process. All of these experiences will be with me forever.
HOWEVER....
I didn't get into this "line of work" to make friends and travel. I got into this TO WAKE PEOPLE THE FUCK UP! Truly that is all I care about. I have seen much success in this area in my own life and in the work of other activists and journalists. However, I feel like so many people have fallen into this habit (trap) of becoming complacent and perhaps, decadent about the situation we are in. When I am in Costa Rica enjoying myself at festivals like Envision, or in Acapulco for Anarchapulco, I stop to wonder, "Are any of these people going to get my message? Will this amazing experience actually lead to change... or anything substantial?". I ask these questions aloud when I am on stage as well. I encourage the people to think about this, to decide whether or not they are simply looking for a good time or actually trying to change the world.
I ask these questions because that is all I care about. Becoming an activist and subsequently learning to be a journalist has completely altered the fabric of my life. This is not a costume, or a phase in my college years, or a weekend hobby -
this is my life.
Also, I am losing hope because of the continuing problems facing independent journalists and activists. Like many other activists and journos, I am struggling to reach people via the internet and social media. Occasionally, this leaves me feeling isolated and depressed.
I continue to cover topics that I find important and valuable. I continue to spend my time writing articles, essays, filming videos and documentaries, conducting interviews, and any other ideas I can come up with because I am desperately trying to wake people up to what is going on in the world. However, due to the heavy censorship and limits on corporate social media my reach on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and Instagram has been halted nearly completely. This is why I have spent my time joining decentralized platforms like Steemit, DTube, and now BitChute.
Still, even with joining these more principled and censorship-free platforms it does not give me hope for the future of humankind. I feel nearly hopeless sometimes. But I will never give up. I will never stop reaching out to people in the streets and via the internet. I will continue to spread truth until I die. I am trying to focus my energy on speaking to people in person. This is why I have been touring the United States the last two summers.
(By the way, recently I had to postpone my East Coast Tour due to the hurricane. I will be coming back to the East Coast for 6 final cities of the Liberate Your Mind Tour. You can see the dates and find more details here.)
I hope to see some of you on the road. I want to believe there is a possibility to overcome the coming surveillance state and tyrannical police state. I want to believe we can stop the masses from embracing the technocratic control grid. I would like to have hope in my brothers and sisters to think critically and question authority. But I won't hold my breath...
P.S. - I have so much more to say on this topic. This is pretty much all I think about now. I will write more in the future if anyone wants to discuss solutions. If not, I will release these thoughts as needed.
Here's some support:
@dbroze I can feel your hopelessness. Right now, I'm own my own personal fate close to depressed. From my heart I was probably ever anarchist, but discovered it only after my daughter was born. Ever I new something is very wrong in the world - but it took still a lot of time to figure out what was wrong.
On my own I'm very disappointed about man kind, and I think best would be that human beings vanish completely from earth or better say directly from universe. But, there is my beloved daughter, and I want here to live free, in peace and harmony on this globe. And I am willing to do what is necessary to do it.
And unhappily there is probably no hope to wake up more then 5%, not because they can't understand, but because they don't want to understand. What the majority want is comfort, not freedom. What the majority want is that everybody is the same except them-self should have it a bit better - and somebody else should pay it (how convenient there is a government). What the majority want is to get all the credit for positive things and to have not the responsibility for their negative things. Responsibility is what nobody wants, so voluntarism is a nightmare, whom to blame for my acts???
For me, I avoid nowadays people where I can't because I get mostly to angry and disgusted about their views, their opinions and worst: their acts. My hope is to find, on events like Anarchopulco next year, people we (my wife, my daughter and me) and the people can enjoy conversations, passing time together, having peaceful relations....
Most people on this earth I don't like to see close to my daughter, when I see how the treat children, or how they announce what they think about children. And finally how that children become because of their treatment.
Sorry to say that, but I'm happy for you that you are feeling "only" occasionally isolated and depressed, because I feel that since a long time almost constantly. And it's not getting better, in one country they try to put poison under your child's skin by force, in another they want to force your children into concentration camps, and so on. I'm often really worried that it gets worse and worse. I get bitter and more angry, although I want to become more empathic back, because I see observing my daughter, and feeling it it is probably the only chance to change something to the better.
On this point I want to thank you for not giving up! Thank you very much.
PS: I think to make the mass to wake up it takes to put the right stuff in thinks they consume, like movies, series and other fictional stuff in a way that it bothers first only there subconscious - if they still have a working subconscious.
I wouldn't know I've never been, but speaking to the like-minded @ Anarchopulco etc....would be our "echo-chamber". These folks don't really need the lecture as much as some others, that's why I feel your hopelessness, as far as, Instagram FB etc....These are good places to change NEW minds. I really hope the Liberate Your Mind Tour goes well for ya!! Love your work, keep your head up and your powder dry. ;)
they were really good places to change minds but they have completely destroyed the independent medias reach and ability to make money that it is no longer effective. The tour is effective and a great experience, but we are still somewhat dependent on social media to organize and promote. I wish people would just visit websites and not rely on social media.
Here in this country facebook is the internet. Still don't know if it's funny or very sad.
It's both funny and sad. I'm not one of those ppl thankfully! ;)
I could enjoy a little bit of echo chamber, I'm tired of most people in this world and don't want to hear or see their stupidity anymore. I want to talk with people, and about things they really matter and not superficial crap without importance. Today most people are not even more able to respond a message properly. You will ask them 3 open questions and they respond wit one 'yes'!? Why to waste time to communicate anymore with people like that? Plus, I think it's important to connect with like minded people, I thought long time that there are not even people on the planet with a similar mindset till I stumbled over a youtube video from Larken Rose, and nowadays I've seen that there are more, and I want speak with them, instead speaking with people which want everybody in misery. I feel since years so isolated that I have fears that my daughter will have later problems to socialize, although my observations tell something different - but other thing. So, today I think it's more important to connect with like-minded people as change minds. I think we (volutaryists/anarchists and all people searching liberty) need to connect very soon to protect our interests in a very hostile world. just my 5 cents, although I think that the answer was to the post and not my comment ;) Have a good night.
Yeah it was....good rant tho! ;)
:o looks, like rant? I was not aware of it :/
It was "rant-ish" at worst. ;)
Folks that have no interest in "waking folks up" already put stuff in what we consume lol. They don't appreciate competition. But I 100% agree this is the best way otherwise "they" wouldn't already be using it ;)
thank you for sharing your experience and words. I am truly bothered by the fact that I have to live the rest of my life watching people play these political games and worshiping criminals. I am saddened that I don't think there is truly anywhere to escape this mentality. It pervades the entire planet. I am dedicated to helping spread awareness but I am saddened that I don't see it getting any better.
I agree with you as far as what people like to consumer. I have tried books, videos, documentaries, articles and essays. I am now focusing on mini-documentaries that are in depth research on timeless topics, as well as getting back to in the field journalism and activism.
I can feel your pain really. On all my flights or involuntary contacts with the faggots(not gays, taking about criminals in costumes) I fight since some years, and I changed my strategy, nowadays I try to cool down most possible, put my hands in the pockets , try to look calm and provoke them with questions, that the surrounding starts to think about "authority" and "criminals". And nowadays I try to finish with: "make me, yourself and everybody else a favor. When you arrive at home, don't switch on the television and think about you behavior, you are really protecting somebody?? Or in reality you are the crook who terrorize harmless people? Ask yourself if you not could get a job where you earn your living honestly and productive instead of harassing exactly that people from where your income is stolen. Have a nice night!"
But I think, most people only amused for 1 day and nothing changed, except that the dump sheeps applaud for more "protection".
When you watch documentaries which they consume you will see that mostly they are not even watching a documentary, they watch entertainment with or without advertisement blocks between over 1-2 hours with a content you could deliver in 3 minutes. They are watching mostly nothing you could think about longer then 10 seconds. I think we would need to prepare them Trojan horses in the subconscious. Have a nice night and stay strong!
I feel you. Some years ago events occurred which did actually convince me that hope was my worst enemy, and I did indeed endeavor to cease to hope. I endeavored to instead anticipate what was most likely, and have confidence only in what was extremely likely.
It is my examination of nascent technologies that leads me to expect transcendence of the extant modality of industry, government, and society. I see that physics makes 3D printing, mesh networks, aquaponics, and cryptocurrencies possible. It is not my faith in some spiritual value or the goodness of people that leads me to be confident that technology will disperse these, and more, technologies throughout the populations of the world, but my examination of history and how technology eventuates.
I see that people are greedy and self-indulgent today because it is human nature, and that they have been indoctrinated by extant power brokers to be induced to support the paradigm that empowers the most jaded and rapine. I then conclude that supporting that vampiric parasite that is the bankster cabal will be contrary to the interests of greedy and self-indulgent people when availed of technology that enables them to retain much more of the value of their work, and that they will avail themselves of the technologies that free them from the blood funnel of Goldman Sachs as soon as they are able to grasp it.
It is not hope that leads me to expect the demise of oppressive governments, rapine banksters, and savage war profiteers. It is that which I came to after my hope was shown to be a weapon that could drive me to despair when crushed; all I was left with when all I had was taken from me: reason and facts.
Technology always becomes dispersed throughout the population in time, and more empowers individuals over institutions as it does so. As technology advances, the rate of dispersal and increase in power increases, and technology is increasing at an exponential pace. The old ways are more and sooner obsolete each generation, and it is impossible that extant nascent technology will not be dramatically disempowering the robber barons of yore, and creating the free societies of the future sooner than I expect.
I am old, after all. I was born in the Kennedy administration, and seeing the hopes of free people crushed started early for me. It is all I have known of government throughout my life, that it increasingly crushes the hopes and dreams of free people.
It is not hope that gives me confidence that the golden age of freedom is yet to come, but the fact my hopes and dreams have been crushed. The legions of people that love their children, and have felt the suction of the banksters and their minions feeding on their substance are motivated to free their beloved posterity from that harm. Technology is making it trivial.
Society will eradicate the lofty privilege and rampant greed that marks our world today, or humanity will die trying. Only extinction can prevent the eventual implementation of these technologies to ultimately deprive the elite of their power by people that pass their lives and treasure on to their beloved posterity.
That is not my hope, but my rational expectation.
Thanks!
Hey Dbroze, sorry you are going through a hard time. It sounds like you still believe in your cause. I do too, btw. So, I'm going to recommend some perception-management type words. I use them myself. Please take the time to read this post because you are actually on my mind quite often. That probably sounds weird because we don't really know each other but it's true. I am on this path of awakening and you're one of the people who has provided essential information for that to happen.
I think what you are struggling with is not that you think your journalistic cause is truly hopeless or useless but that you are struggling to keep yourself aligned with your purpose. This could be happening due to a lack of perceived positive feedback. We are all human and require extrinsic motivation. It's not as powerful as intrinsic motivation(which I believe you are a paragon of) but it's very necessary for the short game. You want to feel like you are making headway and you're not seeing it.
Here's what I'd have you remind yourself of.
-Most of what you do is not "waking people up" but is more like "planting seeds." These grow on their own long after the interaction. You won't see the forest tomorrow, or next week, but by next year you might start to see something and get a feeling for that momentum you're trying to create.
-There isn't really a battle between good and evil. Evil isn't so much a chosen force that people have aligned themselves with as much as it is, simply, stupid behavior. Ask yourself if you really believe that the most evil people in the world are happy? I don't. And that reminds me that there are two options for me every day. Try to make the world a better place, or don't and default to just basic needs, animal urges, and trying to satisfy that which is never at peace. There's no real argument that selfish or evil people can make. There's no real goal. Even a new world order is just a system, not an end goal. It doesn't promise real happiness or satisfaction to anyone. It's not you versus them, it's just humans either doing things that make life better or not.
-Lastly, when I often wrestled with depression in the past I remembered a quote from Huxley. Paraphrased, it states that suicide, from a more scientific point of view, is just changing our mode of existence. It's all matter and energy. So, it's not really quitting the game, it's just removing the "you-ness". That part of you which is most unique, and is most valuable to the world.
Take a break now and then brother. Let your spirit recharge. Your career path is a noble one and it comes with carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders. Remember to keep the long game in mind and get your mind off things now and then.
Your point of view "planting seeds" makes me think about it, and makes a little hope, but on the other side, sometimes I think it's like throwing seeds in the desert. Maybe I'm wrong, but I belief that all people you can wake up or plant a seed, would with enough time arrive to the same conclusions, that people you can give a shortcut and let them feel that they are not insane and not alone. Insane is to see going everything wrong and still defending the direction.
2 things.
I have found that if you want to change the world, change yourself from within. Your very presence makes waves and people respond.
About sanity, yes you can go insane. Anyone can go insane though. Outsource your sanity. Don't think of it as static or like an inherent intelligence. Take a break now and then if you plan to play the long game. If you're serious about vying to wake people up then you need a cycle that is healthy for you.
your first point is especially important. This is the message I believe in and promote through my work but it does not provide me with solace when I look around at the world.
I just watched Europa The Last Battle documentary and found it very disheartening. Whether you believe it or not, it's heavy stuff and makes me want to stop everything and allow my mind to sort things out. I think you might profit from the same. Get yourself into a peaceful place or take a vacation. Get some peace of mind. Afterwards, ask yourself some tough honest questions.
To a certain amount I would agree on the first point, and in which direction to change? Then their is the big question, how much to take?
Next I think not that it leads to a satisfying result let the bullies do what they are doing.
Second point, I was talking about the people to target to "wake up" or "plant seeds". Seeing over and over again how people get (metaphoric) raped and defend later the rapist, that with out rapist there would be chaos. I think this kind of people is in majority a "waste of seeds". I think still it makes more sense to put the seed on fertile ground. Almost everyone is insane, but it will you make feel insane when you question the status quo - for that I think it's more important to connect with people thinking similar.
In the first point I was speaking from experience. People can sense, to a very subtle degree, if you are "informing" them because you want validation or because you really want to inform. I think it's natural to learn something interesting and want to share it. I also think that part of that desire to share is the desire for validation. You're testing the idea in a way by observing people's reactions. Now a days, asking the masses is not a good test because most people are so unaware of their extensive programming.
Creating a change in perspective is like a dance. You have to learn the steps and then you practice them. At first you won't be convincing, just like someone doesn't look good when they are first learning the steps, but over time you will become more adept. When you hit the steps with ease without thinking about them, you become convincing. And like pop stars, the sky is the limit on how much attention and influence you can command.
These people exist throughout history and they are considered dangerous because of their ability to call attention to themselves and influence masses of people. There is a formula, there is a way.
It's OK to get down, it's not an easy road. But when you overcome these feelings, when you find a way through them, you carry it with you and then others know there is a way.
I agree with you about connecting with people who think similarly. I think that's essentially how you create momentum.
Hi @dbroze,
@kafkanarchy84 recently made a similar post. https://steempeak.com/dlive/@kafkanarchy84/7d618b53-b44f-11e8-aada-0242ac110003
Seems in this time frame you are not alone with your experience.
Somewhat followup: https://steempeak.com/steemit/@kafkanarchy84/a-true-miracle
Actually I find it very rare that someone says "this is my life."
Often it is (from the older voluntaryists/libertarians) 'oh, I had my mission period and now I am content and settle down'.
Not the Bob Marley motto...
Most people may pretend to but do not care (don't have it high on their priority list, e.g. stop of a specific war to reach peace). I have accepted that as the momentarily sad state of affairs. Kinda robots maybe even...
And then there is this matrix saying, 'people are locked and can't be freed once they reach a certain age' or from a scientist 'some developments come not through debate and a better theory but because the old scientists die out and the newer paradigm can take shift'.
So I find my focus more on children and find this somewhat strangely underdeveloped in the anarchist community, as the mind control (state and religions) religion focusses especially on people from a young age.
So I also find manifestations like BitNation, to a lesser degree the Free private cities project and the spreading of sudbury valley "schools" a way in which there are the wanted real manifestations. And I also thought of your conscious resistance project as an idea for a realization, similar to the realization about that Mexican town (other examples exist as well) you recently wrote about.
So, I wanna stop with my glimpses of thoughts and remain in the hope that you and @kafkanarchy84 might connect somehow from voluntaryist to voluntaryist with somewhat similar existential experiences/questions.
mielia
I am sorry your going through this. But I am glad to hear you are not giving up. As long as you are willing to keep trying, there is always hope left. I had a thought for you. I know that you spend much of your energy speaking with adults about what is going on in the world and trying to make change though them. Have you thought about redirecting some of that energy into kids? If we can train the minds of our youth from the beginning towards freedom, we can redirect the path humanity is heading down. With adults we are trying to undo damage that is already done. Kids are a fresh start. The kids literally are our future and so long as we keep teaching them the same ways through school and media, we are going to get the same kind of scared, brainwashed adults that we have now. My mind goes to this idea because I am a mother and the love I have for my children is stronger than any love there is. I think this is true for most all parents. This love can be harnessed into power to move this movement. Parents are searching for alternatives for their kids but there aren't many, if any out there. You have knowledge, you have resources and you have an awesome group of people around you. Kids need to be in contact with people like you and absorb that energy. Many people who are awake still put their kids in public schools and their kids still watch the mainstream shows that poison their brains. Many of them don't have any other choice. They have not found a way to break free from a traditional job and need a place for their kids to go during the day and public school offers a free solution. And many parents are tired because we no longer raise kids in villages, we do it alone and the shows are a quiet break from that. I believe the public schools are the beginning of a lot of the mental programing that you are finding in the adults you come in contact with. What if we created more places for the youth to go during the day where they are free to learn, aren't brainwashed with the elites agenda and are taught a new way to live, taught a new future. These could be day schools, summer camps, retreats, weekly meet ups, etc. I unschool or free school my kids and having places like this to take them to is a dream for me and I know many other parents who feel the same way. Kids can more easily be taught to opt out of the system because they don't have a lot to lose. They start out free or free-er than adults and we can just work on keeping them that way. This is just a suggestion if you are feeling burnt out and not heard by the adults, this may be a refreshing change. I have so many ideas I would love to implement for our youth, to get them out of the trap our society has set up for them. I am without a doubt confident, the kids are our hope, they are our future and if given the opportunity, will turn this world around.
I empathize with you Derrick, but speaking as someone who is nowhere near as eloquent and probably not as smart as you either. But with just as much passion and desire to see an awakening before hope truly dies.
You are at a great advantage.
I feel the same way every now and then but in the long run, I will have accomplished the task I was born for and in the eyes of the Universe, it is all what really matters.
Stay STRONG!
I feel ya, D! When the forces lined up against us are so powerful and the people we want to help are so resistant, it can be super frustrating! I wonder if you are also not getting as much appreciation and support as you would like?