Winning or losing? All in your expectation!

I love my golf! Always have - from the very first day I picked up a club and hit a ball (or had a violent crack at it) till today. One of the reason why I always enjoyed golf is that its one game where you are continually playing against yourself. How you played today compared to yesterday; how well have you been doing this month, compared to same time last year.

I have been playing reasonably well lately. Had some good rounds and a few bad ones in between. But generally I am happy with where my game was going. That's when something strikes me as odd.

You see, there used to be a time when I would do anything to break a 100 - but it wont happen. My score will float around 110. The coveted 2-digit score was like winning the Open's green jacket. One day, I did score a 98. I was the happiest man! It was a personal goal and I achieved it. Never mind that my score went back over 100 the very next round. But then in a couple of weeks time, I did it again. This time even a shot less. Then again, and again. Until I hit a period where I was consistently scoring below 100.

As time went on, I was doing better and better. I set my eyes on sub-90 score. And guess what, I hit that as well. I started to score in mid eighties. This is when I started to observe something weird. I suddenly hit a bad patch. I can't seem to bring my score below 95. I am consistently hitting 97, 98, 99 ... It felt like failure. I was disappointed at myself. Frustrated every day as I dragged myself out of the golf course, cursing at yet again what felt like a personal failure.

But hang on a second ... wasn't the same score a year ago felt like a point of winning? It was a monumental achievement after months of trials, endless practice, lessons and what not? What changed?

What changed was my expectation. Of myself, of my game. I got used to winning, at least as I have defined it. I needed a new definition. And when I faltered in reaching that new definition, the was winning a few months ago, felt like losing.

I am not a professional golfer. I don't make money out of this game. It has very little life consequences to me. But we behave in a similar way in all facets of our lives, where we play games of winning or losing. We are elated or devastated - out of the turns we get out of our lives ... mostly based on expectations we set ourselves. This is often based on our experience, our need to grow, or simply because our circumstance demands it. At the end of the day though, we could conclude on the same situation as a win or a loss ... depending on how we look at it. We could consider a business venture that didn't work out as a failure or as a learning experience for the next launch. We could look at a not getting a promotion as a setback or an opportunity to look at what's available elsewhere.

A failed attempt could simply be seen as a false start, just to be started over again.

So back to my game, today's 98 is a new beginning to my road to becoming a scratch golfer.