You won't believe what happend to me in an old Ukranian elevator.

We were coming back from a pub.

Sober.

A mistake, I know.

At the front desk of the hotel (It was a two story hotel, just to let you know), we were struck by an amazing idea, we decided to try how many people we can fit into an elevator (it was an old Ukrainian elevator, just to let you know). 

A mistake, I know.

Realistic (really) guess would be, that even three people is way too many, but we had to try whether we can fit all twelve of us in.

We did! Even though it wasn't the easiest thing.

A mistake, I know.

Just imagine a smaller than usual shower enclosure hanging on a rope over a pit.

In Dnepropetrovsk.

I know. 

Someone had accidentally pressed the button for second story. The elevator had closed doors, set out a weird noise, went a feet down, switched off the lights and end of story.

I know.

For a moment we tried to press random buttons, before we realized that, the elevator won't elevate anywhere. Forcefully open the doors was impossible, also because we were so pressed on each other that most of us had hands raised in the air, so we could fit in.

We have called for help.

The girls from the front desk came. They pressed a random buttons for a while, before they realized that this elevator wont elevate anywhere.

Could have asked us, we already knew.

The girls wanted to give up on us, but after a short talk, when we explained that we won't wait till morning, they agreed to call the serviceman even at night. They did not give it much chance, though.

In about a half hour later they arrived. Dumb and Dumber (really).

The temperature went over 100 F (40 C), and we were low on air.  The dumber was was pressing a random buttons for a while, before the dumb realized that this elevator wont elevate anywhere.

They could have asked the girls, they already knew.

The dumber then asked the dumb one whether he knows how does the elevator work. It did not help our mood. The dumb one said that he indeed does not. And that made our mood really bad. After a while he added that this elevator wont elevate anywhere.

Smart guy, quick learner.

They went out for a like a 10 minutes just to come back with a pipe of some sort and started to dig into the door crack. Another ten minutes had passed and now the dumb one had asked the dumber one whether he knows how the elevator works. The dumber one said that he indeed does not have any idea, but that he is quite sure that this elevator wont elevate anywhere.

Smart guy, really.

The temperature slowly climbed to 122 F (50 C), at this point we did not care about the air, but about the rotten bodies. I politely asked the other eleven people in the elevator not to throw up, because that would be unpleasant. They told me it is not funny.

Another colleague said that he needs to go to a toilet and that its not pee and because it really was not funny he was serious.

Dumb and dumber were still trying to crack the door, and suddenly found out that in the lower part of the left door there is a defect so they were able to create a 2 inch crack.

We have asked the dumb one to bring a fan from room number 15. so we could get some fresh air. The temperature was even higher and thus the chocolate i took down at front desk have completely melted, as I had my arms in the air it was slowly trickling down my arm and another colleague noted that he can feel my chocolate on his ankle.

A wierd moment, really.

Meanwhile the dumb one brought the fan from the room 15. and the dumber one was still cracking the door. After few minutes we couldn't but ask why they don't switch on the fan. Dumb one said that it cannot reach the socket.

Thus we have asked them to bring the extension cable from the room 15. We also noted that they will surely find it as that’s what the fan was connected to before they took it. 

In one eternity plus 3 minutes they brought back the extension table, connected to the fan... and still nothing.

We could hear the ventilator running, but no fresh air was coming through the crack. We assigned the colleague closest to the crack with the task to find what is going on.

The colleague closest to the crack reported that the dumber one, cracking the door, is blocking the air flow with his bare back.  At this point we started to worry, not only because we were low on air, but also because we thought about the dumber one kidneys. If he were to open the door in hours or days, the cold would not make him good. 

The dumb one, anticipating the tension, had asked how many of us is in the elevator. We answered that twelve.

He started laughing hysterically and said that its good that we are in a good mood.

We were not.

Encouraged by the relaxed atmosphere he further asked whether someone is pregnant.

We were not, but we said that if such condition would make it any quicker we will make it happen.

Half hour later, the dumb one somehow struck the security switch and the doors opened wide.

From the tiny elevator one by one disembarked twelve red faced entities.  They did not actually believe that there were twelve of us in there, so they were looking at us absolutely stunned mounts wide open.

The second day a warning label appeared on the elevator. Max 3 persons and 500 pounds. In five languages! Second day!

Anyone who has been in the Ukraine knows that nothing ever happen so quickly. But we have made it.