The Man Who Died, Part III : A little Box Called Pandora

in #life7 years ago (edited)

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This the last and final part of the The Man Who Died trilogy, the first Horror story I’ve ever written. And I hope you guys like it.

This was very different from what I usually do, but if you never try, you never know.

“You don’t remember?”

Remember what?

You think you’re trying to remember but you’re not. What you are is under duress. Your brain is frozen trying to process the madness that is dancing around it.

Your senses are trying to adapt to the new information it has just received and which simply cannot accept.

The entity before you is assuming a human form though for some reason you know that its real form resembles what the ancient Hopi called The Ant People.

The problem is, you don’t really believe in those things.

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“You know what you have to do.” it says to you.

“I really don’t.” You think to yourself.

That’s the truth. You really don’t. You don’t know what to do. Luckily, he points you to a sand (or tan) house you didn’t notice before.

As you walk towards it, you realize that one of your knees is giving up on you.

Maybe it’s doing you a favor.

It’s Never a Good Time for a Reality Check

All your life is being played in front of you but from a perspective you’ve never seen before.

In fact, most of the things you’re seeing, you remembered them being played out in an entirely different way.

It seems as if your mind has some selective memory syndrome that is causing it to re-write your memories and transform them in a more pleasurable version for you to remember.

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Meanwhile, the only thing that your mind always kept failing to remember is that you were always afraid.

All throughout your life it seems.

Whenever you liked some cute girl in a coffee shop, you just ‘planned’ to talk to her the next time she comes there when you’re more prepared.

Whenever you had to make an uncomfortable call, you’d just ‘plan’ to postpone it because you’ll figure it out later.

But you never make the call, for the same reason you never talk to the girl.

The truth is, you were afraid.

The Mirror, More Painful Than a Thousand Swords.

And it keeps on, playing and playing and playing.

The truth is a merciless bitch.

And then when you just think you can’t take it anymore, they finally send you to hell.

Inferno

You see, hell doesn’t have winged creatures with tridents and pitchforks, hell is the place where you meet what you could’ve become.

Then it shows you that could’ve made it. Then it shows you that could’ve been there.

Then it shows you what could’ve been.

The excuses sheltering you brain crumble before your very eyes.

It’s not that you didn’t have time, it’s that you were unwilling to give up large quantities of dumb shit.

You’re broken in a million pieces.

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Magnus finally stopped talking. He lights a cigarette, his girlfriend nods towards the balcony. He tells her it doesn’t matter.

After what we’ve heard, can you blame him?

In fact, that was the heaviest story I’ve heard in my entire life.

He said he doesn’t remember who he got out from that cage but some sort of paralyzing gratitude invaded him the minute he was out.

Then somehow, he conjured up some courage to start running.

He ran and ran inside that green ocean of leaves meant to hammer you with its vastness.

He ran towards that single drop of light in the dead dark of the night.

He ran towards that eerily familiar house he feared the most.

On the way, he met more and more lost people but this time he ignored them all. He figured that would never stop.

He finally reached the mysterious house but this time he didn’t think twice.

He woke up in the hospital with his girlfriend staring at him.

It was all a dream.

Maybe.

“We don’t beat the Reaper by living longer. We beat the Reaper by living well.” ― Randy Pausch

Image Sources: 12345

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Two years later, Klara, a close friend of Magnus was working on a documentary about near-death experiences. During the course of that year she met plenty of people who were officially declared dead but one of them marked her life forever.
A kind middle-aged lady that invited her and her crew into her house for a cup of coffee.

It was inside the house where klara came across the most bone chilling experience of her life as her eyes met a black and white hand-drawn portrait that made her skin crawl.

It was the spitting image of Magnus.

Speechless, she started pointing at the picture.

The host said:

“Oh, that’s the young man who escorted us from the field to the house with the checkboard floor.”

The coffee mug dropped on the floor breaking into tiny bits and pieces.

That was a fictional story… Maybe.

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Nice unravelling at the very end there and a definite surprising turn of event. Thanks for a great ending to this story. Keep on Steeming! All for one and one for all!!! Namaste :)

Thank you!! "All for one and one for all!" I like that :)

I made it! And I really enjoyed it. My favorite part here was this "where you meet what you could’ve become." What if every chance you didn't take would have lead to pure awesomeness... but you missed it because of fear?Now that's terrifying.

I'm glad you liked it! It's my first horror story so it means a lot :)

That story was absolutely amazing! I couldn't stop reading it! Thank you.

That's way to big of a compliment, but thank you!!

Salut j'espere que je ne vous derange pas trop car je vient juste de voir
votre profil sur facebook je suis LOPEZ Endrea je vois que vous etre la bonne personne qu'il me faut et qui mérite cet offre. Je suis d'origine francaise mais je vie en Italie depuis 20ans a cause de mon mari qui est d'origine italienne. Je souffre d'une maladie qui me conduire jusqu'a la mort et je dispose d'une somme de 60 000 euros dont je voudrais faire une donation a une personne de confiance et d'honnête afin qu'il en fasse bon usage. je suis propriétaire d'une société d'importation d'accessoires automobiles. Donner une part de 10% aux enfants orphelins de sa région juste pour la bénédiction du seigneur apres ma mort. J'ai perdu mon mari il y a cela 7ans,on a pas enfant ce qui ma beaucoup toucher le coeur et j'ai pas pu me remarier jusqu'a ce jour parce que j'aime trop mon mari. Je voudrais faire de cette somme un don avant ma mort puisse que mes jours son compté faute de cette maladie au quelle je n'est pas pu avoir de remède pour ma maladie. Je voudrais savoir par la suite si vous voulez vraiment beneficier de ce don. voici mon adresse mail: [email protected]
Je vous prie de me répondre.

Fictional or not, that story feels true.
In many religions life is considered the greatest gift bestowed on you, which is why they consider suicide a mortal sin. For myself I think that even if life is a game that we signed on to play, one of the rules is sticking it out. Quitting just feels wrong.
Incredibly well done, you have a new fan :)

Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. Yeah life does feel like a game a lot!

Very professional sir :) I appreciate you ;)

Salut j'espere que je ne vous derange pas trop car je vient juste de voir
votre profil sur facebook je suis LOPEZ Endrea je vois que vous etre la bonne personne qu'il me faut et qui mérite cet offre. Je suis d'origine francaise mais je vie en Italie depuis 20ans a cause de mon mari qui est d'origine italienne. Je souffre d'une maladie qui me conduire jusqu'a la mort et je dispose d'une somme de 60 000 euros dont je voudrais faire une donation a une personne de confiance et d'honnête afin qu'il en fasse bon usage. je suis propriétaire d'une société d'importation d'accessoires automobiles. Donner une part de 10% aux enfants orphelins de sa région juste pour la bénédiction du seigneur apres ma mort. J'ai perdu mon mari il y a cela 7ans,on a pas enfant ce qui ma beaucoup toucher le coeur et j'ai pas pu me remarier jusqu'a ce jour parce que j'aime trop mon mari. Je voudrais faire de cette somme un don avant ma mort puisse que mes jours son compté faute de cette maladie au quelle je n'est pas pu avoir de remède pour ma maladie. Je voudrais savoir par la suite si vous voulez vraiment beneficier de ce don. voici mon adresse mail: [email protected]
Je vous prie de me répondre.

a very interesting story

Ultra creepy conclusion and expertly told. The cogs within your minds eye work splendidly. Hope to see more of these from you in the near future. Very well done, sir. :)

Thanks a lot man! I'll do my best then!

Salut j'espere que je ne vous derange pas trop car je vient juste de voir
votre profil sur facebook je suis LOPEZ Endrea je vois que vous etre la bonne personne qu'il me faut et qui mérite cet offre. Je suis d'origine francaise mais je vie en Italie depuis 20ans a cause de mon mari qui est d'origine italienne. Je souffre d'une maladie qui me conduire jusqu'a la mort et je dispose d'une somme de 60 000 euros dont je voudrais faire une donation a une personne de confiance et d'honnête afin qu'il en fasse bon usage. je suis propriétaire d'une société d'importation d'accessoires automobiles. Donner une part de 10% aux enfants orphelins de sa région juste pour la bénédiction du seigneur apres ma mort. J'ai perdu mon mari il y a cela 7ans,on a pas enfant ce qui ma beaucoup toucher le coeur et j'ai pas pu me remarier jusqu'a ce jour parce que j'aime trop mon mari. Je voudrais faire de cette somme un don avant ma mort puisse que mes jours son compté faute de cette maladie au quelle je n'est pas pu avoir de remède pour ma maladie. Je voudrais savoir par la suite si vous voulez vraiment beneficier de ce don. voici mon adresse mail: [email protected]
Je vous prie de me répondre.

This is great! Really a fan, followed now.
I love the imagery, really interesting.
Great how you ended it on a "maybe it's true". Nice little hook.
I'm a writer too, some of it's not bad (https://steemit.com/writing/@ilovebatcatstew/the-musician) and some is awful. (No link because I want it to die off haha).

But my problem is I can't seem to get it noticed! Do you have any tips on getting work out there, so people can enjoy it?

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