How to face your fears = Overcome your discomfort! Part 2/3!! (Get into the conquering zone)
In part 1 of this article we understood what is fear, and with what you have to start to overcome the most biggest fears you have. For a quick reminder i will make a short revue.
To fight your fear you have to understand what is fear. Basically Fear is mechanism in our brain, which helps us to survive. It warns us, based on our experience, about situations which may lead to our death. Fear is not based only on your survival. You can have fear from things that will make you sad or angry, or any negative emotions. As your brain doesn’t see a difference in those.
To begin with overcoming your fear most useful action you can start with is to introduce yourself with all fears you have. Make a fear journal and write down you fears. How to do that? You can find out in a first article part which you can find at the bottom of this article.
So whats next?
So as we have spoken before, fear is based on your experience. So it means all fears have to be learned, that’s why children are not afraid of most of the stuff. But by learning brain starts to understand more and makes decisions based on it. So The trick to get in conquering zone is to change your mindset. Understand that it is experience and by looking on it from different angle can make a big difference.
This is very seen for social fears, which is often seen in being rejected or lack of self-compassion. If you wouldn’t be rejected by someone you loved, chances are that you would be much less feared to go in a relationship later in your life.
Actions which will help you prepare yourself to overcome fear, and you can name it conquering zone:
Visualize yourself confident and lacking fear. Confidence itself doesn't guarantee success, but approaching a situation with confidence can help you try harder. So picture yourself in the situation. Work out the smells, how you feel, what you can touch. Now take control of it. It can take practice, At the beginning just start with a few min a day, and than when you are getting better than spend as much time as you want to get into the zone.
Think about things that you can truly control and leave those were you have no control Stop thinking about everything in the world. Most of the things that happens in life, happens without our control. Stop concentrating your life on those things. Start to concentrate your mind on things you truly can change, and in most of the time it will be only you :D. And of course, live for the moment and don’t think about world after 20 years. A lot of things can change in a small time-period. I am not talking about all things, like family, health and investments.
Envision your fear energy as enthusiasm instead. Being afraid of something can produce a lot of nervous energy, thanks to the working of our sympathetic nervous system (the system responsible for our “flight-or-fight” response). Your brain doesn’t see big difference in enthusiasm and fear, as it is the same brain part, so it is possible, with enough talking with yourself, to change the feeling you will have for certain situation. While you may never be entirely relaxed and calm about doing something you are feared of, you may be able to transform how you think about that.
20 seconds rule When you are about to confront a fear think only about next 20 seconds. You don’t need more. And it will help you to concentrate your willpower and energy on exactly the fear. 20 seconds of stupid bravery? 20 seconds of embarrassing moments? Can you handle it? 20 seconds and that’s it after that it is much easier.
Of course it is much easier to say than done. But you if you are willing to improve yourself, than there is no shortcuts. Plus it is very fun to work with yourself. These preparations will be enough for you to be in a conquering zone and be ready for the battle with your fears. The battle your fears will be in a third part of this article.
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