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Your ending of the story seemed to me like a shamanic voyage interspersed with a salvific angel apparition, and knowing the strenght of the Christian Faith in Armenia, I find very appropriate for Vartan to act like an angel-like being.
Thank you for your interesting comment on the story @marcoriccardi and I apologize for my late response. I've ended up getting some freelance writing work outside of steem which is actually paying the rent, so I have been super busy and might not be putting as much content up on steem over the next few months.
Your analysis is insightful mate as I have been very much interested in shamanism and other magical tribal traditions from my teenage years. Also, I have practiced lucid dreaming and this story just seemed to grow out of those experiences. As you noticed, the christian symbology in this story was a nod to the setting.
The story certainly stands on its own and is also a continuation of the "beginning". Of course your tale appeals to the righteous in all of us. The slaver perishes. The baby lives. The husband and wife are reunited. And the mythic eagle is the supernatural medium.
Sometimes, the stories that blend myth, dream and reality get a bit turgid and hard to follow. This one did not suffer that fate. You made a clean line between the different parts. Your language helped the story to soar, much like your eagle. An enjoyable story-- I like happy endings (not too happy for Cassius).
An enjoyable story-- I like happy endings (not too happy for Cassius)
Ha ha, yes I wanted to end on a bright note.... for once ;-) I think the word redemptive is how I feel about this story. It was clear in my mind what I wanted the ending to be from the moment I started typing :)
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The poetry of Vartan's paragraphs is counterposed to the dramatic Alin's cry of sorrow.
“My child is dying” she screamed at the empty night.
In this desperate appeal, I admired your capability of changing rhythm and style in respect to Vartan's spiritual experience.
With your unique blend of poetry and prose, you took the reader hand in hand until a final cathartic fusion between the different perspectives of the two characters. You also gave a deeper meaning to Vartan's lucid dreaming. Amazing.
Thank you for your interesting comment @f3nix and I apologize for my late response. I've ended up getting some freelance writing work outside of steem which is actually paying the rent, so I have been super busy and might not be putting as much content up on steem over the next few months.
With your unique blend of poetry and prose, you took the reader hand in hand until a final cathartic fusion between the different perspectives of the two characters.
This is so encouraging to hear as I've had some editors on my case in the past about using poetic descriptions in prose. Their attitude always seems to be simply that it's wrong. But in my honest opinion the most important thing to be as a writer is unique/original in some way. That style is just how I write naturally and I want to hone that style until it is so fluid that what is traditionally 'wrong' becomes right ;-)
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story mate... and whatever content I do get time to produce for steem over the next month or two will definitely include some finish the story entries :)
Bud, it's your unique style, almost a brand, and we learned to love it. I'm so happy for these developments in your life..we want updates as soon as you can disclose them!
The comments stole my comment essay, so let’s retell the entire story of the Bible instead! :^D
Hours upon hours of Theology and Philosophy of Religion seminars later.
And that’s why this story can not only fit within the Bible even as simply as a parable but it’s own fledgling Chapter as a counterbalance to the Book of Revelations. And that’s why Augustine never also needed to wear that hairshirt that would torture him to remind him the sins of Humanity. The end.
Thanks for your interesting comment @theironfelix. Yeah, I did want some religious symbolism in this story but not being religious myself and having sparse knowledge, I just made up the name of my angel lol. So much of modern day spiritualism sort lends stuff from christian 'mythology' but a lot of the descriptive stuff and ideas in this story came from my own experiences of lucid dreaming. I kind of took it much further though, imagining what a master lucid dreamer could do, after years of practice and transcending the dream state to effect the physical. Ha ha, it was definitely a fantasy story set in an alternative ancient earth ;-)
P.s. I apologize for my late response. I've ended up getting some freelance writing work outside of steem which is actually paying the rent, so I have been super busy and might not be putting as much content up on steem over the next few months.
As always, anyways sounds interesting but myst be exhausting all that freepance work. If we can ever see one freelance story published on here, that would be nice to see.
You've given us a lush and poetic ending! The style and tone carries on beautifully from the beginning to make this piece feel as though it was written by a single person. Absolutely wonderfully done!
Smoothly, you guide the reader along with Vartan through the powerful transition into dreams. His clever utilization of the jade discs as a grounding mechanism lent realism to the cosmically fantastical experience, as one would reach out for the comfort of the familiar.
Diniana's arrival and his bonding with her was artfully done. The slips between his transformation and the mother's desperate pleas for her child to live flowed naturally. Never was there an awkward break. The lead up of his journey and the wisdom from the dreams were all for these two to come together, to share eyes and power as one.
Thanks @bananafish. I'm so glad you noticed the use of the jade discs as a kind of talisman. Someone told me many moons ago that every object mentioned in a story has to provide some point/meaning within the plot and the jade discs in this exemplify that idea. They were kind of the bridge between the world of the dream and the physical plane of reality. The one object that Vartan could use to kill Cassius and save his wife and child :)
Thank you so much for participating the Partiko Delegation Plan Round 1! We really appreciate your support! As part of the delegation benefits, we just gave you a 3.00% upvote! Together, let’s change the world!
Congratulations! This post has been upvoted from the communal account, @minnowsupport, by raj808 from the Minnow Support Project. It's a witness project run by aggroed, ausbitbank, teamsteem, someguy123, neoxian, followbtcnews, and netuoso. The goal is to help Steemit grow by supporting Minnows. Please find us at the Peace, Abundance, and Liberty Network (PALnet) Discord Channel. It's a completely public and open space to all members of the Steemit community who voluntarily choose to be there.
If you would like to delegate to the Minnow Support Project you can do so by clicking on the following links: 50SP, 100SP, 250SP, 500SP, 1000SP, 5000SP.
Be sure to leave at least 50SP undelegated on your account.
Your ending of the story seemed to me like a shamanic voyage interspersed with a salvific angel apparition, and knowing the strenght of the Christian Faith in Armenia, I find very appropriate for Vartan to act like an angel-like being.
Thank you for your interesting comment on the story @marcoriccardi and I apologize for my late response. I've ended up getting some freelance writing work outside of steem which is actually paying the rent, so I have been super busy and might not be putting as much content up on steem over the next few months.
Your analysis is insightful mate as I have been very much interested in shamanism and other magical tribal traditions from my teenage years. Also, I have practiced lucid dreaming and this story just seemed to grow out of those experiences. As you noticed, the christian symbology in this story was a nod to the setting.
Thank you for participating in the weekly storytelling contest sponsored by @celfmagazine + @sndbox. We loved your work and you have earned the third prize.
Thanks @celfmagazine I'm honored to scoop 3rd place :)
The story certainly stands on its own and is also a continuation of the "beginning". Of course your tale appeals to the righteous in all of us. The slaver perishes. The baby lives. The husband and wife are reunited. And the mythic eagle is the supernatural medium.
Sometimes, the stories that blend myth, dream and reality get a bit turgid and hard to follow. This one did not suffer that fate. You made a clean line between the different parts. Your language helped the story to soar, much like your eagle. An enjoyable story-- I like happy endings (not too happy for Cassius).
Ha ha, yes I wanted to end on a bright note.... for once ;-) I think the word redemptive is how I feel about this story. It was clear in my mind what I wanted the ending to be from the moment I started typing :)
Hi @raj808!
Your post was upvoted by @steem-ua, new Steem dApp, using UserAuthority for algorithmic post curation!
Your UA account score is currently 4.417 which ranks you at #2164 across all Steem accounts.
Your rank has dropped 3 places in the last three days (old rank 2161).
In our last Algorithmic Curation Round, consisting of 277 contributions, your post is ranked at #66.
Evaluation of your UA score:
Feel free to join our @steem-ua Discord server
The poetry of Vartan's paragraphs is counterposed to the dramatic Alin's cry of sorrow.
In this desperate appeal, I admired your capability of changing rhythm and style in respect to Vartan's spiritual experience.
With your unique blend of poetry and prose, you took the reader hand in hand until a final cathartic fusion between the different perspectives of the two characters. You also gave a deeper meaning to Vartan's lucid dreaming. Amazing.
;-) Prompt commenting is not my strong suit lol
Thank you for your interesting comment @f3nix and I apologize for my late response. I've ended up getting some freelance writing work outside of steem which is actually paying the rent, so I have been super busy and might not be putting as much content up on steem over the next few months.
This is so encouraging to hear as I've had some editors on my case in the past about using poetic descriptions in prose. Their attitude always seems to be simply that it's wrong. But in my honest opinion the most important thing to be as a writer is unique/original in some way. That style is just how I write naturally and I want to hone that style until it is so fluid that what is traditionally 'wrong' becomes right ;-)
I'm really glad you enjoyed the story mate... and whatever content I do get time to produce for steem over the next month or two will definitely include some finish the story entries :)
Bud, it's your unique style, almost a brand, and we learned to love it. I'm so happy for these developments in your life..we want updates as soon as you can disclose them!
LOL!
The comments stole my comment essay, so let’s retell the entire story of the Bible instead! :^D
Hours upon hours of Theology and Philosophy of Religion seminars later.
And that’s why this story can not only fit within the Bible even as simply as a parable but it’s own fledgling Chapter as a counterbalance to the Book of Revelations. And that’s why Augustine never also needed to wear that hairshirt that would torture him to remind him the sins of Humanity. The end.
Thanks for your interesting comment @theironfelix. Yeah, I did want some religious symbolism in this story but not being religious myself and having sparse knowledge, I just made up the name of my angel lol. So much of modern day spiritualism sort lends stuff from christian 'mythology' but a lot of the descriptive stuff and ideas in this story came from my own experiences of lucid dreaming. I kind of took it much further though, imagining what a master lucid dreamer could do, after years of practice and transcending the dream state to effect the physical. Ha ha, it was definitely a fantasy story set in an alternative ancient earth ;-)
P.s. I apologize for my late response. I've ended up getting some freelance writing work outside of steem which is actually paying the rent, so I have been super busy and might not be putting as much content up on steem over the next few months.
You've given us a lush and poetic ending! The style and tone carries on beautifully from the beginning to make this piece feel as though it was written by a single person. Absolutely wonderfully done!
Smoothly, you guide the reader along with Vartan through the powerful transition into dreams. His clever utilization of the jade discs as a grounding mechanism lent realism to the cosmically fantastical experience, as one would reach out for the comfort of the familiar.
Diniana's arrival and his bonding with her was artfully done. The slips between his transformation and the mother's desperate pleas for her child to live flowed naturally. Never was there an awkward break. The lead up of his journey and the wisdom from the dreams were all for these two to come together, to share eyes and power as one.
Thanks @bananafish. I'm so glad you noticed the use of the jade discs as a kind of talisman. Someone told me many moons ago that every object mentioned in a story has to provide some point/meaning within the plot and the jade discs in this exemplify that idea. They were kind of the bridge between the world of the dream and the physical plane of reality. The one object that Vartan could use to kill Cassius and save his wife and child :)
Hoist the Bananafish colors! Our 40th Edition is ready and waiting for you, brave storyteller.