A Better You #1 - 做一个更好的自己1

in #cn7 years ago (edited)

I've always been someone who likes to reflect on life, why people do what they do, and how I can improve as a person. Maybe that is why I ended up studying Psychology and Marketing in university, and maybe why my best subject in university was philosophy. It's probably also the reason I love reading self improvement books and enjoy asking questions.
我这个人比较爱思考一些人生大道理,爱问问题,也喜欢提高自己。这也许也是为什么我在大学的时候读了心理学和营销,也是为什么我大学里最优秀的科目是哲学。

So in this series, I will be sharing with you guys things I've learnt that I find really interesting and things that have helped me grow as a person.
所以在这一系列的帖子里我会跟大家分享一些我觉得比较有趣的心理学和哲学道理,以及一些帮助我进步的思想和道理。


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Do not unhealthily compare - 不要经常和别人比较

As people, whether consciously or unconsciously, we tend to compare with those around us; is he making more money than me? Is she more pretty than me? Are their kids producing better grades than my children?
做为人,我们经常爱跟我们身边的人比较。他是否赚得比我多?她是否比我更漂亮?他的孩子是否比我的孩子成绩更好?

However, all this negative comparing only leads to negative emotions - 我们越多跟别人比较,我们就有越多负面的情绪

If we perceive others to be better or more well off, we become envious or depressed. And when we perceive ourselves to be better, we tend to become prideful.
当我们认为我们不如别人的时候,我们就会自卑或忌妒。而当我们认为自己比别人强的时候,我们就会骄傲。

Running our own race - 跑自己当跑的路

I really like a quote a friend shared on Facebook today that said the following:
我今天在Facebook上读到朋友写的一段话觉得挺有道理的:

"New York is 3 hours ahead of California,
纽约时间比加州早三个小时
but it does not make California slow.
但加州并不因此而变慢*

Someone graduated at the age of 22,
有人 22 岁就毕业了
but waited 5 years before securing a good job!
但等了五年才找到好的工作!
Someone became a CEO at 25
有人 25 岁就当上 CEO
and died at 50.
却在 50 岁去世
While another became a CEO at 50
也有人直到50 岁才当上 CEO
and lived to 90 years.
然而活到 90 岁
Someone is still single,
有人依然单身
while someone else got married.
同时也有人已婚
Obama retires at 55,
奥巴马 55 岁就退休
but Trump starts at 70.
川普 70 岁才开始当总统

Absolutely everyone in this world works based on their Time Zone.
世上每个人本来就有自己的发展的那个时区
People around you might seem to go ahead of you,
身边有些人看似走在你前面
some might seem to be behind you.
也有人看似走在你后面
But everyone is running their own RACE, in their own TIME.
但其实每个人都在自己的时区里走自己的路
Don’t envy them or mock them.
不要嫉妒或嘲笑他们
They are in their TIME ZONE, and you are in yours!
他们都在自己的时区里,你也是!
Life is about waiting for the right moment to act.
生命就是等待正确的时机行动
So, RELAX.
所以,放轻松

You’re not LATE.
你没有落后
You’re not EARLY.
你没有领先
You are very much ON TIME, and in your TIME ZONE Destiny set up for you.
在命运为你安排的属于自己的时区里,一切都“准时"。

My question to you is, what is the race set out for you? No matter what others are doing, are you running your race?

生活就像个长赛跑,每个人都有各自的跑道,所以我想问的问题是:“不管别人在做什么,你是否在自己的跑道跑你该跑的路 ?”
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First make sure you are running the right race, and then once you're sure, run at it with all you've got. You've got my daughter to cheer you on.
你首先要知道你该跑的路是什么,然后你用尽全力来跑你该跑的路。你有我的女儿来为你加油。 :)


Follow me @nextgen622 for more in this series

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This comment has received a 0.04 % upvote from @booster thanks to: @hamzaoui.

This reminds me of the book "how to be miserable, 40 stratetegies that you already use" and the video by CgpGrey.

Reverse psychology.

Thanks for sharing this. I partially agree to this, but:

Do not compare

Why not? Comparing can bring us forward. We can see measured on the examples of others, what is good and what is bad on ourselfes.

But we should do this comparing always without any attitude of envy!

The only way we have to follow is our own one.

Great to hear from you mate. Hope you've been well. Yes, that's a great point you bring up. And my Chinese translation of this article probably brings out the true meaning of what I wanted to say a bit better here. What I meant was a habitual or continuous, unhealthy and negative comparing. This kind of comparing is quite common in Chinese culture, and something I wanted to highlight. Thanks again for your comment.
PS. I've updated the post to reflect this.

I thought as much, I knew the Chinese translation conveys a stronger message. I even tried reading it in Chinese it was an epic fail.

This is an excellent post with excellent advice, I enjoyed reading it.

Loved the poem!

And the overall message is nice, but I worry that taken to extremes, it could do harm as well!

Cos sometimes, comparing ourselves to others is good. We learn by example. We learn when we compare someone's good behavior to our own bad behavior, and the effects each brings.

And sometimes it's good to notice when other people are way better off: cos maybe they don't deserve it. Maybe there's injustice going on. We don't want this 'don't compare yourself to others' injunction to lead to passivity against the injustices of the world. 'Envy' and 'depression' can often be an agent of change.

P.S. For some reason I loved the bilingual aspect of your post, and I don't even know Chinese! :P

P.S.2 : Your daughter looks like she wants to kick my ass!

lol. Yes totally agree with you. like I mentioned in another comment , my Chinese translation of this is probably more accurate. I was referring to am type of unhealthy and negative comparing. I agree some types of comparing for self betterment is necessary.

Thanks for sharing. As they say, comparison is the thief of joy.
Looking forward to subsequent posts.

Nice Post , love reading it

My race is marathon, I don't want exhaust myself and get injured so that I will never cross the finish line. Being patient and knowing what you're capable of so the task is complete and the time you devoted hasn't gone to waste in the end. Cute picture by the way!

This post is a wonderful reminder--thank you! The Lord has special plans for all of us. I recently wrote a blog you might enjoy with a similar message
https://steemit.com/christianity/@eyeofthestorm/the-rose-vs-the-lotus-who-could-win-such-a-beauty-contest-and-what-does-this-proverb-mean-for-us
Your daughter is adorable---love the photo. She looks like she's ready to start running her own race already---before she can even walk!

Awesome photography from a Person with such a nice Sense Of Humor !!

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