I am Finding New Ways to Blow off Steam.
Greetings.
I don't think anyone can possibly understand just how annoying my job is. We all know my grimy old boss is a complete moron. That alone would be fine... if he would just stop summoning me. I can't tell you how many times a day I have to say, "What is thy bidding my master?" What makes things worse is that in addition to him being disgusting and hideous, he's totally senile. Therefore, half of the time he summons me, he forgets what he was going to say. I can't get one moment to myself.
This is what it is like... all freaking day.
When he does remember, 90% of the stuff he asks is simply idiotic.
"How do I set the DVR to record my 'stories'?"
"My wifi is broken... do you think the central computer is down?"
"What is this cat's name? Why is it lying motionless on the foot of my bed for the last 36 hours? Where's the cat food?"
"Can you call the galactic bank for me? I ran out of checks." (Who still uses checks?! Galactic credits can be transferred electronically)
"This transmission is all fuzzy. Can you come and adjust my antenna?" (Antenna? There is no antenna. It's all satellites! It's fuzzy because... as I mentioned 5 times... I am in a freaking asteroid field on an important mission!)
You know what I wish he'd ask? "Where is my toothbrush and moisturizing skin lotion?" Some soap might ben nice too. But whatever.
On top of that, every underling I have is an utter moron. I don't want to get into it too much. Just see my previous transmissions for evidence of their idiocy.
He flushed the keys to the Star Destroyer down the toilet. No he did!
I can't really take any of this out on my boss... because he's my boss. I may want to pick him up and throw him down a shaft, but we all know I'll never do that.
Recently my assistant Vera, whose amazingness is the only reason I don't quit, started a "kill jar" to help me avoid using force choking dimwits as a way to blow off steam. Every time I kill someone, I have to put in 100 credits (electronically not by check). With the Empire's recent financial problems, that is a pretty big sum of money so I have been trying to avoid killing all of the morons around me who clearly deserve it.
So I have had to find new ways to blow off steam. I have started messing with some of my underlings. The best part is, the dweebs can't even tell when I'm laughing so I can play it all serious the whole time.
Here's an example...
The title of this is a bit misleading. Its should be titled "Utter dimwit gets what he deserves".
Did you see the look on that tool's face? By the end, he was so frustrated and annoyed, he couldn't even speak... but he knew he would have to or I would kill him. Hilarious!!!! My favorite part is when I just stared at him. What was he going to do? Nothing! He had to just stand there and take it like the useless, stupid bag of garbage he is.
Next I am going to invite him to go for a ride in my shuttle. Just when he's about to enter, I'll have the pilot move away a little bit. Then I'll do it again! Bwaaaa haha haha! How long do you think it will take before he cries real tears? I predict 18 minutes.
Only one way to find out...
With the way the witnesses are adjusting the price feed, convert your "jar" to Steem, you should be able to force choke three or four for the price of one.
I like the sound of that.
I bet you win all the staring contests too.
Shoot, that is genius lol. Then again, that is what you bring to the table (: I came to tell @lordvader here that I got him in a post today on a GAW with @riosparada (:
Let's try. Go!
This is a GIF
DAMMIT!
hahahaha! Matching wits with @merej99 eh? I wonder how this will turn out. Oh and here is a post I mentioned you in today! It is a GAW post! I think you will approve of this.
https://steemit.com/steemit/@riosparada/steemit-pot-redistribution-9-the-sixth-day-of-christmas-pot
All these comments and this story is so on point i had to sit back a little and question if I was still in reality orrr what 🤔🤔 lel
I assure you...
I am real!
Vera does sound spectacular I hope she is getting to keep the kill jar money and isnt planning on donating it to some awful charity.
Knowing her, she'll probably buy something for me. She's wonderful.
I would say 19 minutes... After accounting the time necessary for the pilot to react ^^
You are correct. It will take extensive training to get the pilot to pull off this rather simple maneuver.
I'm still trying to figure out how to get electronic credits in a jar...
In my galaxy we have things called "virtual wallets". The "jar" is actually one of these "virtual wallets". I electronically deposit the credits after I kill someone (with no fees mind you). The vast majority of the inhabitants of your planet clearly can't understand the concept of a "virtual wallet" because your planet still relies on paper and metal currency (it was really difficult for me to express that without laughing). People on your planet still pay ridiculous fees for their banking. It's pretty silly. Perhaps someone on your planet should get to work creating a new digital currency that can be used to eliminate the need for banks.
that thought crossed my mind too... Perhaps they are force choked in
...Dad? Is that... you?
Not whiny enough. Clearly not my son.
Here's some intel about the enemy you need to see. https://steemit.com/starwarsphotochallenge/@dgiors/starwarsphotochallenge-20-sunrise-and-sunsets
I don't think he would ever understand
You are really a Saint, your patience in putting up with the Retarded Village Idiots you are surrounded with is an example of Your Amazing Benevolence!