Ancient Egyptian Erotica & Actifit...
Midnight is fast approaching and I again don’t have anything to post. Then I remembered a funny comment from @boxcarblue in his kind attempt to brainstorm for ideas on my struggles writing a love scene. I’m participating in NanoWrimo, and my story world is set in an alternate realm that is heavily based of Ancient Egypt.
He wrote: “Can you find a piece of Egyptian erotica to base it on, or maybe some edgy hieroglyphics?”
Edgy hieroglyphics?
I haven’t responded, but I burst out laughing.
So I set about researching for some Ancient Egyptian erotica. I’m pleased to say: I found it!!
Let me present the Turin Erotic Papyrus.
TA DAA!!!
According to the source:
Eros in Egypt
David O'Connor
Archaeology Odyssey, September-October, 2001
The most erotically graphic—some would say pornographic—work of Egyptian art is the so-called Turin Erotic Papyrus (Papyrus 55001), now in the Egyptian Museum in Turin, Italy. Painted in the Ramesside period (1292-1075 B.C.E.), the severely damaged papyrus has not been treated well by time and the elements.(1) It consists of a continuous series of vignettes drawn on a papyrus scroll about 8.5 feet long and 10 inches high. The first third of the scroll (reading from right to left) shows animals and birds carrying out various human tasks. The rest consists of explicit depictions of sexual acts.
So are you titillated?
I realise there are many gaps that need to be filled—puns not intended!
In any case, from the bottom of my weary heart, I do thank boxcarblue for the chuckles and the source of inspiration. I shall look upon this historically significant document as I write the love scene. It’s sure to help....
🤣😂
Back to fitness..
I did another 10km jog. My knee held up well. Pleased I got another run in on the weekend, but definitely a rest day tomorrow!
10 km? Respect!
Awww, thanks for dropping by. Unexpected but appreciated. :)
You know...in your hunt for wildflowers, you could be collecting @actifit steps too! Just some gentle encouragement from me in case you may be interested. :) I’m working on @supersoju too, only I’m giving her the full Chinese burn treatment to get her to post. Lol
Running? I'd rather stick needles in my eyes. But you'll be pleased to know that I am a strength and conditioning instructor and a pole dancer. So I'll pass on actifit :P
Whaaaaaaaaaaaat?! You are a pole dancer?!
(@supersoju did you know this? You have a pole dancer in your secret cat’n’bug club!)
Post! I want pictures, videos, interviews, see costumes and dance choreography! This will be fun to read about! Pretty please? I’ve not met a pole dancer on social media yet as far as I know. :)
I’m sure you can catch heaps of actifit steps curling and sliding around a pole...maybe...ummm...not sure. But you can walk or shake your booty or whatnot. But I won’t press further, I’m still working on supersoju, the chinese burn torture might be working... If I get her inducted, I’ll point her your way. hehe
@supersoju knows this :P
Sorry to prick the bubble: there's 2 kinds of pole dance, the sexy stuff in killer heels (which I am not good at) and the more gymnastic stuff (which I am not much better at) and I incline towards the latter. All I can offer are pics of me doing wacky things in the air and I might get around to pics at some point. As for actifit, where would I put the phone? Pole requires skin in both cases.
Here on Steemit, check out @polebird, @jackieobermeyer or @amazona06. One of those 3 might even like actifit. I leave it up to you to decide who I mean
It’s all @mcfarhat’s fault that we don’t have more pole dancers doing @actifit. They released the app without giving it watch support. That’s what you need, something you can strap on. Like an iWatch. Clearly, actifit would rule the crypto world by now if it could win the support of all the pole dancers of blockchain!
So there’s a secret pole dancers club too?! I feel so boring. sniff
Maybe @supersoju is a pole dancer at night? I’d always imagined she worked in the finance department for some reason!
I will check out these accounts you tagged at a later date, and blame you if they get annoyed with me! 😛
hahaha 'Soju's Finance Department' opens once per financial year. The most annoying time of the year to work spreadsheets and numbers. Do you know how long it takes Soju to sort out the receipts? She is such a slacker. She spends more time cleaning her nails.
🙀🙀🙀
Watches don't work either, these kinds of apps only count steps, I think. There's someone in class who gets discounts from her medical aid based on her doing steps so she has to get off the pole and run around a bit to get her required steps in.
Don't feel boring, find something interesting that you like doing and do it ;)
Nah, @supersoju is no bean counter
Omg... @supersoju is a stripper?!?!?!
(Hope she doesn’t kill me for even writing that...)
Keep on rubbing; you may need to burn it right to the bone.
I did try out the app with walking; forget running because my phone is too big.
You tried it?! Good to hear! 🤗
I have a iPhone 6S Plus I think, it was the first one of the series that had the huge screen, I run with that with no problems. I plan to upgrade to an iPhone XS Max soon and when we looked at them at the Apple store in Doncaster not so long ago, they were barely bigger than my current phone.
The key is to find the right tights. You can get ones with pockets and my recommendation is Lorna Jane.
Just look for a local outlet. ANYTHING you buy at Lorna Jane is worth the money you spend. My favorite and lasting workout gear are Lorna Jane. They are more expensive, but they’re worth it for the quality. Once I found they had 3/4 leggings and knee length ones with side mesh pockets, I bought a stack of them. So if you have a large phone, you’ll find they will get a nice snug and secure fit. You can sprint like a mad woman no problems. Lol
If you’re feeling cheap, you can buy Kmart or Target leggings with pockets, but that’s more hit’n’miss if you find them. I have those too. Again, when you have a big phone, you’ll find the Lycra pockets accomodate to hold your phone in place. I swear by it, there’s no excuse you can’t run with a large phone, I do it all the time.😛
Below are some links to give you an idea, but you don’t need fancy stuff, just look for the plain utility black tights with mesh pockets. To give you an idea how good they are, I have had to run with an additional battery pack on top of the mobile phone on some long runs in the past...the pockets are handy for all kinds of stuff, like carrying cards you might need too. Lol
https://www.lornajane.com.au/-collection/-tights/everyday-3-4-tight/p-111832_BLK
https://www.lornajane.com.au/-collection/-tights/movement-core-a-b-tight/p-091833_OGRNBM
https://www.lornajane.com.au/-collection/-tights/twilight-f-l-tight/p-091878_BLKMS
https://www.lornajane.com.au/-collection/-tights/swift-a-b-tight/p-101879_BLK
Oooo I was at Doncaster not long ago too. We went there because the store at Chaddy didn't have what we wanted and thought we would check out the Doncaster store to see what they had.
Doncaster has changed a lot.
Those tights look really good; I'm surprised they hold phones well. But yes they are pricey. If (a big IF) I ever do get into anything that involves running, I will look into getting something like this if I wanted to carry my phone with me.
Just get them for the fact they are great tights. ;)
I grew up in Springvale Sth, so Chaddy was my shopping centre. But the south east is so congested now! Princes Highway does not seem much of a highway and more a slowway! I’m always shocked how much has changed that way when I visit my parents. Chaddy itself has changed heaps since I was young. When we moved to Viewbank, it was Doncaster. Everything feels less congested that way. ;)
Chaddy is changing even more now. Even the Glen. I saw construction happening when we drove by.
hahaha slowway. I really don't miss peak hour traffic. I don't know how I use to do it. I love working from home.... except when I procrastinate too much...like what I am doing now....for the past couple/few hours...hahaha
The south east traffic is getting better now with the removal of railway crossings.
I’m deliberately organising onsite time now. Everytime I’m working from home, I’m distracted. If you’re not a stripper or an accountant, what do you do for a living? You can be vague. ;)
Don't know how she does it. I just saw her post from 3 days ago where she did 21.44km!!!
Crazy!
I feel tired just from reading the numbers.
But wouldn’t it be cool if you gave yourself a half marathon goal too? I think it’ll be a fun challenge for you. I remember when I decided to do my first years ago. I just sat at my desk sick of myself for not having run for years and decided to go for a half marathon race. I’ve done the marathon once, I might have another go. It’s just great to have a goal, to say to yourself, I’ll do this at least once before I die...before I’m too old and can’t.
Come on....you can give it a go! Start with 10km and push further. Just don’t give yourself the pressure of running fast. This is what I don’t get with people. They run too hard and then they give up because they made it too hard. Just take your time and be happy you are moving....
I'm 49 and I'd like to keep my hip and knee joints the way they are
You cannot complain about age after revealing you’re a well-conditioned pole dancer! I’ll not believe a word you say about displacing hip and knee joints. :)
Displacing joints is one thing. Subjecting them to high-impact stress is quite another
Yes, especially on hard surfaces. Running should be done on grass to reduce the impact.
Exactly!
lol you say 10km like it is really easy to do.
I remember years ago, I went for a 5km run around Albert Park Lake. I thought I could do it easy enough...... boy was I wrong.
I went with a friend and my partner. My friend had been running around the lake regularly; so it was easy for her. After stretching, we started the run. Within 10 seconds I stopped, bent over huffing and puffing as I waved my hand to the others to keep going without me. BUT! I did continue on; running and walking; running and walking.... I even noticed I was leaning closer towards the lake as I ran. Mind you, I cannot swim.
So I did finish the 5km and went to watch a friend playing indoor soccer nearby. She saw me and asked straight away what was wrong with me. I think I looked like I was about to drop dead.
I don't think I would be doing any major runs; I did my ankle a few times during indoor soccer and parts of me are just not the same. I have trouble sleeping because of pain and discomfort.
But I do like those tights!! Would be good if I was playing soccer still. I could wear them and have the actifit app going as I play. I am amazed you could run with such a huge phone and even battery pack on. I have a note 8. I struggle to have them in my pockets and do anything.
Okay, I read this properly today. So you did finish the route!!! Running and walking sounds good. My husband has knee issues, so he does a combo often too. But through playing Ingress, he sometimes will work up to 16km.
I’m so sorry about the ankle from soccer. I know how much it sucks to be injured. Have you seen someone? Finding the right therapist might help.
Ankles are less problematic for me than everything else. You might be horrified to learn that I roll my ankles often. Like, even when I am standing still and talking. A podiatrist noticed the uncommon flexibility in my joints, and it’s the cause of my imbalance issues. My daughter has inherited this and she can still pat herself on the head with her foot at 8 yo. It’s funny.
Get the tights and you can take your phone on all your fitness sessions. They are extremely streamline, you won’t notice them anymore. If you have bluetooth ear phones, you’d be totally free of wires too. ;)
But where is the actifit report?!?!
Wow 16km! Doesn't his knee hurt afterwards?
I got my ankle checked out the first time I did it; was told only rest was needed. I never bothered to go again to get it checked out each time I hurt either one of my ankles. The last one I should have gone....
hahahaha all I could do was try to imagine it
You will have to wait a very long time for that.
Everything hurts for him. He’s annoying (you’ll notice I love talking about my husband and bagging him out), if he so much as move he’s cramping. It’s ridiculous. Ooooh, you are asking for it as far as another Soju email revealing mum’s lazy bum habits being the real reason she’s not posting Actifit!
hahaha I'm not hiding I'm a lazy bum. I'm even more lazy when Soju decides to cuddle up in bed.
lol your hubby sounds like me. Everything hurts.
OMG! Can't believe there was such a thing back then lol
Well, you have to assume even the ancient Egyptians had a dirty mind. Humans don’t change that much, even if they spent all their time prepping for the afterlife! :)
I didn’t realize it was such a funny sounding suggestion until I read it back again. It even made me laugh. Hopefully the resultant Google search didn’t distract you from your writing too much:-) And who knows, maybe this papyrus will give birth to your love scene.😜
It was actually funnier coming from you. I’m beginning to think you’re a bit of a dork, but in a good way. Lol. More often than not, I’m thinking, really, boxcarblue?!
You’re great value. :)
I’m so exhausted atm, I don’t even want to talk about the writing. I’m sure it’ll come out in another spazz actifit post.
So, you’re saying I’m aloof, is that it? Your not the first, that’s for sure. In Japan they having a saying about being able to Read the air and behave/respond/say things accordingly. I tend to fall into the Can’t read the air group more often than not🤓
Aloof fits. Not that I see it as a bad thing. I would like to be more detached, it would mean I burn out less quickly. I think I’m able to ‘read the air’, but if I don’t like what it says, I belligerently ignore it. It gets me in trouble online and in real life. ;)
So aloof sounds good me.
I am so, so glad I hadn't started drinking my coffee yet as had I started before I started reading I would have done some damage to my machine when I got to "edgy hieroglyphics" XD
Ah huh, yeh, sure, suuuuuure.
So you got some good ideas for your love scene?
Haha....I know right? I just have a deep hatred of puns. I blame my husband, he’s the king of puns and has tortured me for many years.
I’m glad you didn’t spit all over your computer, you’d have to lodge a complaint to @boxcarblue. 😛 It was his idea, I just got curious...
Be glad you don't live with my kids XD The oldest is master of puns, and quite often him and the youngest bounce off each other, and then sometimes the girl gets involved and it's pain all around XD
My kids do poetry, it’s much more fun than the pun. I like listening to them do a rhyme off. 😂
I have one daughter very creative with words and can make lyrical stuff up on the fly. The other daughter is very specific about the meaning of words and would correct everything. What’s even cuter is she’s developed this dorky fake laugh. It’s hilarious listening to them conversing. Much more fun than my husband being punny. Him, I usually just want to punch really hard...yeah, his puns drives me to violence, it’s so aggravating. I give him this deadpan look, so he doesn’t get the satisfaction that I got his pun. Then he tries to explain, I think he wants to die...because I’ve told him a billion times I hate his puns...
LoL aahhhh that's adorable XD
Linny, one day you should teach me jogging/running! ;-)
Lol.
10k jog, awesome work! Keep it up..
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