The Penny (Zapfic Entry)
It always came back. At first, I thought it was lucky. Every penny slot machine I dropped it in would pay out. Every time I tried to pay with it, it came back in my change. That distinctive dent. Now, I know why.
I need it. For the ferryman.
Such a good prompt, so many ways 'penny' can go, totally tapped out migraine painkillers today, so hopefully this makes sense. @gaby-crb has confirmed this is in human, and english at that - thank you kindly my sweet soul sis <3
Wooo #zapfic a great contest with 240 characters to work with and a simple prompt. Held by the man and the myth, an overlooked cornerstone in the blockchain - @felt.buzz - check it here
Photo Credit taken by Martin Cooper and shared in the public domain via Flickr!
I like that you put it into the horror tag. Its not a scary story but it is reminiscent. I think it is actually a lucky penny, guiding him through life and death... It got to see both sides ;)
Ahhh gaby, I can rely on you to see the light in my dark. In that sense it was very much a lucky penny, he would have been wandering the river banks without it, but i saw it as him being haunted his whole life by his coming death haha
I didn't knew the narrator was a male!~ :D - It all makes sense why the narrator freaked out about the coin being spat right back out after being put into a machine. Only men would worry about money and being stingy with it, I can confirm it in the USA - dunno how it is in the UK or everywhere else. Otherwise, now there's an IT to a story! I actually have to re-read this story... I am actually drunk right now and I can confirm that, so I may have not seen the second character. But I swear there was just one non-gendered narrator, I will post this comment now and delete it later if there are two characters... A he and and an it. Who were they?
I read it as a male narrator, a woman would have instinctively known what the penny was for.
Both sexes worry about money, no matter their location.
It, would be referring to the penny itself, getting to see both his life and death, I was referencing the 'two sides of a coin'.
Is it wise to comment when drunk? I know I usually come to regret posting when my filter isn't working.
I was just trying to show that I liked @calluna's story, all 49 words of it.
Well, I guess my generation of kids were raised to treat the narrator as ungendered lest they explicitly or implicitly say so. (I only remark this because my family is polish-conservatives, so you'd think that enforce the narrator not as an ungendered person but as a male but...)
Oh of course, I just wanted to make a tipsy joke.
Okay, thanks for the clarification. I was getting that general spirit, but tipsy me wants to be absolutely sho'.
Sometimes yah get to make a drunk joke and people laugh! But yeah, I can only sympathize with yah there.
I know, I know. Imma tipsy transbian :D :D!!!!~
Now that's a hook, that penny is a stalker~
This seems something straight from "every blessing is actually a curse" story... I love it!~
Machine screen: [Currency not accepted, spitting it out] But that's a mid-way hook in and the curve into the dark below; the nervous laugh that can either be good or a shallow pond to the deeper. flooded cavern.
The climax to the bystander's comment, now plummeting to the ending obscenity which makes sense of everything before. The small shock that leads to the realization at the very end:
Thus, the story ends and so begins our narrator's journey in the hands of the ferryman. Tell them that I said hi! I am friends with the ferryman!
hahaha, that first line i was more thinking about how a bad penny always comes back, leading into the next line with another common inference about pennies, that some are lucky.
Now that's interesting as a hook, i was more trying to emphasis the seeming luck but i can see how a penny that always wins so it could come back, even on the penny arcade machine, would be enthralling. Look at me, so barbed I drop hooks without realizing :p (or maybe its the rap, its probably all the rap)
haha a regular visitor to the underworld? I better not eat any food you offer me then :p
thank you for this analysis, its interesting to see how things carry deconstructed <3
Ah! Well, I should've gotten that since me and mój towarzysze usually get annoyed by that (and thus why I made the joke of the machine spitting it out). But I agree with your remarks.
Hooks aren't inherently not emphasizing things, mój Ukochany!!!!~ I just wanted to stress that as that hooked me in further. But yes, hooky Cally coming in with that spear-hook. H-o-o-k, first come the victim, then comes the pierced mouth bleeding! (Wrap or rap? Or you mean rap qua songs? Sorry, still tipsy~) :p
Was thinking of giving yah a pacszki... :c
Dzieki for providing the story yet again, and welcome for the comment!!!!~
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Well very glad it drew you in! Woo yeah all the hooks! (rap rap, okay not proper rap, like Neffex and... will send you some links next time I listen, migraine etc not mind working fully)
I know all about Persephone, and I know far better than to trust pacszki after all the Ashley/Saddie hi-jinx ;)
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Hooky-hook!~ (I like Conmunist Rappers, they’re more full of life and confrontational.)
Will you be my Persephone?~ But like actually I am yours and we have a functionally happy relationship?~ (They are the best at that hijinx~ ;^p)
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hahahaha! Ancient customs. I wish you a long and joy filled life!