Was it worth it?

I lay in bed as I recount what I have done with my life.

Unable to move these days, I have either a fever or something else. As the day goes by my throat hurts more and it feels infected. It is like swollen. On top of that my right ear is unable to hear anything and feels stuffed.

I was completely fine just a few days earlier. It just hit me one day.

On that night I was sweating and shivering, my ears and throats was not hurting yet, but it happened when I woke up. Not only that I could not stand, my leg muscles were weak and I felt like this body wasn't mine.

As time went on my body got worse and I started sweating more and more, and I feel chills every night. I twisted my ankle a few years ago because of work and that same pain has returned. I've never waited for it to heal because I wanted to get right back to work.

During this time the strangest thing that happened is probably my dreams of ghosts. My own body parts being detached from my body and trying to kill me. It has woken me up at least 3 times a night.

Was it worth it?

I am what they call a YouTuber with only about 400,000 subscribers and over 500 million collective views. The thing is, I don't feel all that special because like most YouTubers, the viewers are there for the content, rarely you. What about your health?