We're All Dealing with the Same Hell; Just Different Devils

A Period of Repose: Requiescence To Cynosure.

Having a break is essential for all of us. Time spent away from phantasms and conspiratorial schism is time spent searching for your essence. I didn't realise how heavily I lacked this, but in hindsight I see others in the same game, different level

I was wearing myself out. I was constructing a vast burden of responsibility for myself just by continuing on doing what I was doing, slavishly and stubbornly. I lost the essence of any creative endeavour I previously was so committed to. The activism and investigations became a spiralling morass that would suck me in like a whirlpool that threatened to completely confuse me to the point of losing myself. I was weakened and spent. I was making myself unwell.

I became allergic to spending so much time on the internet so I resumed downsizing my online presence. I continued deleting social media accounts that were no longer wanted or needed and in doing so, I extricated myself from being a whirling dervish of ire and woe.

This was a necessary process and now I've come through it ; a little worn out, confused, dispassionate but still here.

Real life is offering opportunities where I can use my skills and talents every day. This is a new development for me and with such a range of opportunity presenting itself, I am humbled and blessed. With this in mind, I Just taking a different pace now with more flexible priorities. I also have to remain open and willing to learn who I am and what is my essence.

Staying well in my mind and soul is foremost: my health and body wellness is next. Then after that, comes the world. That world which I meet so open and willing to see whether the world awaits me or I await the world.

Having Breaks Before Broken

A friend on Steemit @venomnymous posted a few months about this very topic, like they were predicting my own difficulties a few months down the line. https://steemit.com/update/@venomnymous/taking-a-long-break-from-truther-community. It was sad to read this but wholly understandable, knew intimately what it is like to feel like running away from it all.

I think that all this shit around us, all these levels and hells are relentlessly eroding our attention, our perception and eventually our sanity.

Image from Ranarh.blogspot.com

The above image is how Dante described Hell to be in his seminal work The Divine Comedy. Layers of Sin sinking deeper and deeper. To some extent all of us who tend to be wily little investigative bastards online pass through such circles and I can look at this image as the eternal obstacles opposing us.

Life is not just a different Circle of Hell to endure or pass through though. And we don't just find ourselves in eternal damnation in whichever Circle of Hell has possessed us. And I'm not alone going through hells and I wont be alone emerging out of them all again to reach the surface.

Seeing @VenomnymouS come back recently onto Steemit again proves this. It sounds trite and idyllic but we are not alone online. We are not just spilling our shit without impunity into an uncaring void for no purpose. And we should look around a bit more often for others who are good people with important messages and a purpose that may be slipping into Circles of Hell.

Tubes of Hell

Cody's Lab addresses his depression, what's caused it and the general difficulties of being a Youtuber

I watched this video today where Cody addresses his subscribers in such a candid way, I was taken aback. Seeing an honest and heartfelt video like this on Youtube was anathema to me so I felt I had to talk about it.

Cody is realising that it is difficult to treat Youtube as a job or career and the statements he makes regarding the many difficulties faced are not often so boldly stated. Such problems are usually regulated to the endless whine of subreddits or frantic tweets on Twitter where no one really reads them with the intent of creating a dialogue.

I am not especially a fan of Cody's channel despite having seen the odd scientific experiment or nature video of his over the years. I assumed he was a good guy and was never really on Youtube to milk it for fame, fortune or e-celeb drama. He is one of the most non-offensive, informative and comfy channels on Youtube, possibly even too nice for the platform.

So when he came out with this video explicitly stating several points where Youtube was fucking him up, emotionally, financially and romantically I got affected. I've seen other Youtubers touch on this subject but not while sitting on a grassy knoll and staring down the barrell of the camera.

I understand Cody's depression: the halcyon days are gone now. Perhaps they never existed on Youtube and maybe it was always just a slow fuse burning to an eventual fizzle and pop.

The sheen is gone, the attraction and allure now a phantasm, the dreams just dust.

He probably realises the finality of this: it's just not working like it used to and I commend Cody for his rare honesty that shines through on this platform like a rare gem poking through the quicksand.

He like me, like others (hopefully many others) will get through the circles of hell and emerge into a new essence. Nothing lasts forever and reliance on the system that forms your identity brings an indelible systemic risk, the system collapses and you in turn do too.

So my advice? Be prepared to learn, always. Change is of the essence.

But the Future?

The Future fucking disgusts me...

• "Parents are spending thousands on YouTube camps that teach kids how to be famous" Daily Dot article - 24th May 2019

• Parents in the US are forking out more than $1500 to help their kids find fame News.com.au - 24th May 2019