The Mind, The Body and The Being - Together (Part 1)
It's been a hard ride. Mainly because of my words. I mean how I communicate. How i accept and allow myself to act out my behavior's based on how the words are layered within me. Creating the physical experience of my actions. I've mucked around within various waters...ultimately as a result of not understanding the significance of myself. It's a tragic comedy of sorts.
No this isn't a pity me post...or woe is me kind of thing. No. Quite contrary really. This is an update and recognition of the extensive of nature of "mind, body and being" interconnection here....and how I am in the process of aligning myself as all the way here man. I like that saying, " All the way here man". It's funny to me in a way and it pokes at the deep seated truth that is tough to acknowledge at times...that i've been lost in moments where it's questionable as "where am I...I mean it's like I was here but not here....deep in my mind in a particular place inside of myself it's like going inside my insides and not realizing myself as the director of my own operating system and as the beneficiary of my own standing within and as my body and being here. It's a trip in and of itself. A trip in the sense that it's bizarre really. It's a fall. To get caught up in the head to the detriment of the rest of myself here.
What I'm talking about may sound "far out" and trippy kind of thing....or maybe not. I'm not sure how others will interpret me. It's interesting in and of itself that throughout my life I gave so much attention and focus as to how I will "appear" and be "perceived" by others. Ironically i didn't realize and understand my own self-imposed inadequacy. Gulp. It's true. I didn't even realize the extent to which I've been living out my own war games exercises. Like I am constantly living out my own strong military industrial grade defense systems...thinking of myself as like a superior ninja...while at the same time burdening myself within an inferiority complex that looks to compensate with superiority in thinking....and it's a farce really because it's like a flip flop cycle through the trenches of experiences within my body as how I physically feel within my body...and this has unfortunately challenged my mobility in many moments....where it's been difficult for me to commit to various modes of participation...and to actually challenge myself to create and expand my potential.
Desteni has been my Life Ship in many ways. For many years now. To sum it up simply here - it's been a point of structure as support for me in fine-tuning my own self-imposed initial de-fining moments of my existence. The moments i reacted and took on an impression, layered in a particular energy...in a way creating my own illusions of separation as i couldn't make 100% sense of myself and existence as a whole. So, what I am getting at here in maybe a bit of a round about way is that the Desteni I Process has been a much needed point of structure in my life. In many ways....even though I've had the benefit of such great support and tools at my disposal for about a decade now...I'm only really just starting to appreciate the significance of the support I've received...and continue to receive...and the overall focus on seeing "Structure" as what Desteni really is to me....and how it's this point of Physical Alignment that I've wrestled with in resistance as like this amateur who didn't know they were participating in a rigged match.
The point of my writing here today is "Exposure" and a moment of recognition here as this is my 10 year anniversary in opening myself up to question and challenge the Nature of my thinking....my mind here...and to actually dare myself to go deeper into my physical body and tune in all the way here man.
It's been one hell of a ride thus far as it's been pure hell at times...mainly because i've been a stubborn fucker more than I am proud of.
Shame has become my accelerator tool...as a point of self-honesty within me...where when I hit the shame...it's like the anchor as my bottom within myself as the point of depth in my reflection into the nature of my acceptances and allowances....the shame is the cross reference point of my self-change and a key component to actually creating new connections and path ways for myself as expanding my response ability as my nature here.
To BE Continued
It's important to communicate...as communication is key in the creation of our utmost potential. If you like my post, “RE'STEEM'N” is much Appreciated. Thank You So Much. Grateful to Be Here
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Hello @worldclassplayer, following this series.
I've found the best way to get over self-doubt and inner conflicts is to take that energy and externalize it towards others in a positive manner. It's so easy to internalize things, question decisions, question self-motives - but if all this energy were to be made positive and externalized, it's amazing what can be accomplished. And life is more enjoyable also!
I've been training myself to externalize my energy, to give and to seek the benefit of others. It would be nice for me to say it comes naturally, but no, it takes effort. I pray that someday after much exercising, giving will become so natural that I hardly know that I'm doing it. It's like going to the gym. It's rough at first and takes discipline, but it becomes easier and easier until it becomes natural.
You are a deep thinker @worldclassplayer and your potential is more than you even know.
Steem on! @ironshield
thanks for the words of support @ironshield it is indeed much appreciated!