One Man's Spiritual Journey... The Final Piece but theres more to it !

We zoomed through India but I intend to post more about my travels later. 

I’m aware people are not really reading this series but I want to finish it so here goes. Oh I realised on the last few post I have not been putting links to the previous post so here are parts One, Two and Three for you to catch up: 

Part 1 

Part 2 

Part 3 

Right then onward we go to Australia...

We arrived in Melbourne in mid March 2011 it was quite warm but it felt good to be there. My brother met us at the bus stop! He arrived on his bike with a slab of beer on the back, how things were about to change. My partner and me were “all hippied up” as he put it and to be honest even with all our efforts to revert back to western ways he was correct. After a short time we were at his house beer in hand and he was cooking up a feast. To me its was astounding how easy it was to fall back into this lifestyle, I was not going to let it happen; I was determined. Again this post is about my spiritual journey and not about the travelling I will jump forward quickly. 

After a few weeks I had a Job and we had a place to live. We kept up our yoga, practiced my Reiki regularly and spoke to my teacher. We enjoyed Melbourne or at least I did. My partner did not; this was a trend that was to continue. She became very controlling, continuing to look for perfection in everything; she was very judgemental of everyone. This went against what had learnt, my line of thinking was everyone had their own mind to choose how the lived (the anarchist brewing in me). She started moaning about my brothers drinking so much and suggested I didn’t see a much of them…! OH DEAR!!! This relationship was doomed from this point! To be fair I should have ended it there and then. But I felt responsible having bought her to Australia; she was unable to cope on her own. In hindsight I maybe wasted the next year of my life you might say; but no I learnt a lot about relationships and collaboration I think. 

We decided to move again. We found work; a placement on a farm in Queensland, it sounded ideal. We packed up and settled the bills, I’ve just remembered the day we left waiting for the landlady and disaster struck, took my into a lively chuckle; we did have great times. Anyways moving swiftly on we arrived at the said farm and set about getting things rolling. The shit hit the fan big time it was a complete scam, we got out thankfully and panic set in motion. My partner was getting a panicky on. I pointed out we were fine and out of the situation, she wanted to go back home and broke down. It was stressful but she overreacted saying I was endangering her life and all that jazz. I was at the end of my tether and wanted out now. Luckily her mother knew someone a few hours train drive south on near the Gold Coast so we headed there. See I learnt here things always work out if your calm and allow yourself to step back and view the whole situation. They really helped us out and I am very grateful of this support from them. As far as the relationship she was doing my nut in, at this point she was making comment about my family saying they should be sending me money and helping out more; they didn’t care. I did not see her parents sending us money.

It might be beneficial to the story here that we arrived in Oz with $50 and she still held a grudge with me for this. I had been earning in Melbourne making some money well enough to things out, as I promised; but we still were not free from a strict budget. I quite enjoyed the challenge but she did not, I hate to say it was her upbringing but its true she was mollycoddled and could not cope with independence. We regrouped; found a Strawberry farm and heading off to work. I really enjoyed this and started to make friends, the partner had enough after a month or so and surprise we left again to find greener grass. This I see now as my period of control and acceptance. But this I mean I learnt to be passive and look at others view and not just consider my own, and as we were a couple we had to move on. Now my gut was telling me to stay and end the relationship in hindsight this as before should have been the option, but she would not have coped on her tod. 

We ended up in Brisbane I got a good job they even offered me sponsorship… BUT! She flitted between jobs, then surprise just as we got settled she wanted to move. Now I was willing as I wanted to explore the country but she just wanted to move a big difference. We found a wonderful place on Broad Beach on the Gold Coast. But you guessed it the same thing happened! However this time she was getting jealous of my friends and even a female colleague giving me a lift home. I knew now I had to end things. It got worse and I decided we had to leave or break up. Unfortunately by this time ironically I was on her visa as a dependant as she was doing a course (which she didn’t like). We bit the bullet and rang home to say we were heading back, she expected my dad to pay for the flight. Now this caused me to fall out with father as she convinced me he was being a bastard and not flying me home. 

So we got home and we asked for a second chance. She found a job as an Au Pair and me as a grounds man in a big place. This went the same way, my gut was telling me to quit but I was scared to loose the relationship and the feeling of love. We decided to just separate. I moved in with my mum and suddenly I saw her manipulation how she had control my thoughts. Another learnt lesson here was to never let anyone tell you how you feel or speak for you. Never doubt your own thoughts! 

She then got the delusion I was sleeping with my mum’s lodger. I had enough and ended it! She rang after two weeks asking why I had not called. She refused to accept we had broken up. It was messy and her dad even came up to drop of my stuff, I lost a lot all the present her and her family have bought me had been taken back. Also a lot of sentimental things were no longer mine, but most upsetting of all; my cat. Now this was my hard lesson in attachment, which I am better at now, but still require a lot of work to minimise my life more. Haha her Dad even started on me, I pointed out I was twenty years in junior and would make sure he left if he did not walk away. 

I leant a lot from this situation about listening to my gut and energies and why people come into our lives. She taught me a lot; how to organise and she built my ambition which I had lost. This was the purpose of our relationship I know now and I hope I taught her a bit about freedom and independence. 

Then I started to rebuild I had a lot of debt as she left me with that. But hey its only numbers on a screen and its gone now. Time to get on with my degree; this led me to get my head down and I forgot a lot about my spiritual practices. I started drinking and smoking again (not pot just cigs). Then I met me ex! I have covered why we did not last in previous posts. Mainly due to the still birth of our little girl but also the stress of being on universal credit and a generally brake down in our communication. However she taught me to embrace my spiritual side and believe in myself again. She is a true soul mate and we will always have a connection. Together were leant so much about being in nature and the power of our mind. 

I have now experienced both sides of the plate as it were. I am now complete in my thinking and now understand so much of what my teacher said eight years ago… wow! My understanding now it becoming clearer each day! I can tune into my body now and listen to it better. I have started regular yoga practice, meditation and not so regular Reiki. My life is amazing; I’m in control of my mind, not completely maybe that the wrong phrase; more understand its potential. My future is clearer I now know where I want to go and am confident in whom I am! 

So that’s a brief summary of my Spiritual journey saved to the block chain. Things are improving daily, my dream is becoming a reality and I am tuning into the universe. Also I am connecting with like minded people like you… There is plenty more to come !