How Modern Society Became My Psycho Ex

 
It was when things got physical that everything went bad. Things went so very bad that now, looking back, I think that the day I broke up with Modern Society was the best day of my life.  

source @therealpaul- Hotel Nannyberry, Arkansaw

Long ago, in the beginning, it was clear that Society and I couldn't be 'just friends'. The constant flirting had already betrayed that- we seemed mutually enchanted. And how could I have resisted? Society was full of kindness and generosity, laughing with me often- it was difficult to see that Society was on the verge of a complete breakdown at every moment- or that I was too.

  
I was blind to the trembling cracks in Society's facade for a dangerously long time- but I was young then, like a child. And it was I who was cracking up already, as the chiseling begins early, and the hammering won't end.

  
The first time that Society asked me if I was thinking about getting a job, it was worded to sound like an innocent question, as if asking about the weather. It's amazing how quickly I thought about breaking up that instant!

  Not long after that, and a few more circular arguments later, was one of the first times I really tried to end the relationship. I said I was done, that it was over between us, and there were lots of tears as I went out the door. I actually believed I'd gotten away.

  
Society was just toying with me though- knowing all along that I'd come slithering back. Hell! It surely knew me too well. More than once I was attracted back into Society's greedy clutch with a bit of chocolate! I could be lured back with a simple shiny neon light- I was easily drawn to the bulb of Society like a helpless moth. 

 A Horrible Trap-  image source

Or, I could be made to feel like I was missing out on something fabulous, simply by the absence of the nagging and prying. The silence would prove, with a deafening drone, that Society had found someone else already, and had moved on. Having manufactured my jealousy so easily, Society could then let me scratch the door pitifully, then allow me in to dry- to shake off my foolishness, endure a wordy lecture, and resume cowering.  

This had always been a factor in the relationship, the way that Society would keep me on the defense by suggesting that I could easily be replaced. There was always the casual reference to my replacement, just to sharpen the edge. A name mentioned nonchalantly, or a flung in anger, Society would deliberately give me the impression that I was faulty compared to other models in my price range. 

I was to feel outdated and outcast with the piercing comparisons, I was to become a mere tissue that should have been softer and more absorbent. 

Society would tell everyone- loudly- how nothing was worse than an unappreciative bum, and would then turn to look at me with knives. Those were the days.

 

I still think about Society once in a while, and can't help but pity the poor creatures that I imagine the old psycho has baited, trapped and slaughtered since I got away from there. 

I don't want to say all bad thing, there were good times now and then, no doubt, but the bad times were brutal, and Society was too controlling, too demeaning and manipulative for me to think about ever going back to that place. I survived, and am better because of it, but I'm not going back. 

I've done really well, and am getting along fine. I've done so well, I practically deserve some chocolate now, but I'm not going to think about that. Things are great. 

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Read more things that I write at @therealpaul and be free to comment.