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RE: My New Book, "Light Arises in the Darkness"
This does sound amazing....and stirs such conflict in my heart and soul. How would I answer the hard questions you will address? What would I offer if I tried to share anything? I know God is God, and His word is Truth.
Yet I know less now than ever. Not coming from bitterness usually....just an exhaustion from grief with no end...that results in my utter collapse at the Cross without answers.
When you come to the cross, you find not the answers, but the answer. And when you come in utter collapse, that is the best way to come. It's the only way to come. You can't come to the cross having the answers, because if you did, you wouldn't feel you needed the cross.
So, being in exhaustion and grief with no end, you are in the best place. You are in the place to receive God's love and mercy, that flows down from on high to fill the lowest places. Your job is to lift your hands up, reach, and receive.
And if you feel you can't do even that, then I've got good news for you: His grace, through Jesus Christ, will lift those tired arms and hands up, like a person who's been straining to push against the sides of a door frame to no avail, but then when then move away from its constraints, they find their hands rise effortlessly upwards.
Other times your desperate need, will be like a magnet, drawing your hands to heaven, to reach out and pull some of it down.
Still, there are occasions when you find yourself bowing down to the earth in heartfelt cries, much like Jesus did at Gesthemane, drenching your Bible with tears, and you'll know...
...that each teardrop is faithfully recorded in heaven. Every tear is like rain that waters the seed of God's word, that you take in, that you eat, because everything else has left you famished. And the promises, mixed with your suffering and the faith it cultivates, will come to life at just the right time.
May God bless you richly and carry you through.
I don't know what you are going through, but I can tell you this: Jesus said, "Let nothing be wasted."
Your trials are drawing you close to God, and they eventually draw to a close, when they've served their purpose to make you like Him, so you can be with Him forever.