A little tired

My last post was about taking a break when you need it, and I need it. Even though adrenal fatigue is not a proven medical "disease", I have been dealing with symptoms close to it since about 2012. Part of this is being physically out of shape. I think that I have lived by the Serenity Prayer in the timeframe since, but I did spend a year driving 10-12 hours a night rousting bums as a security guard, and then in completing a masters in that period.

In any case, right now I am probably suffering from Post Election Pump-up Letdown, PEPL (man, the threat of living for the rest of my life under a democrat party curroptcratic-socialism had me tense as hell). As I mentioned last post, sometimes getting relief from stress can bring on fatigue. The good thing is that I get to laugh at those suffering from Trump Acceptance Resistance Disorder, or TARD.

I have another couple of stories I want to start, so I may be putting the "Home To Texas" book on hiatus.

Not done with "Home To Texas"

I did bang out a Home To Texas chapter fairly quick after the election, and I have the next one planned out, but I don't have any interest in writing it now. Instead, I'll give you a rundown on the character:

Wallace Stevens doesn’t know it, but he is extraordinarily handsome. He is also naive in the rules that govern man to woman relations. Luckily for him, he enjoys life, and his smiles to women are warm and genuine. Those women that smile back in a certain way are due for special treatment, and he means to see they are treated well for as long as he stays around. Wallace is intelligent, but only uses his brains as far as the procurement of food, shelter, liquor, and women goes. He does use it as well in setting defensive positions, but in battle, he relies on aggressiveness, and a willingness to kill. Had he ever heard the saying, "de l'audace, encore de l'audace, et toujours de l'audace", it would have become a favorite saying of his. Wallace, it should be obvious, is an adrenaline junkie. Homer Simpson’s indictment of “BORRING” is never far from his lips when he isn’t carousing or in battle. The modern psychobabble label of ADD would be slapped on him today in a heartbeat. In truth, he is part of Grossman's 3%. He doesn’t really relish fisticuffs, because he sees a bullet as the final arbitrator.

Wallace can understand something on an intellectual level that will never sink into the way that he believes things. For example, in Chapter 3, he shoots Miguel Sanchez, and continues to fire into him after Miguel is clearly dead. On a rational level, he realizes that is not the way that normal people act, yet is still disappointed when he is shunned by the folk at the ranch, even his family. Like the historical Juan Cortina, he knows his side lost the war, but he’ll never stop fighting the war, or or even come to a personal realization of the fact. By first losing the war, his cause, and then in losing his personal honor, Wallace is a man that can never come "home to Texas".

There was a scene that came to me about his character that I never could fit into any chapter, or even tell in his voice:

Wallace is riding to meet Gabriela for an assignation, after the War. He is wearing his best clothes, and has gussied himself up "fair proper". An unforeseen storm brews up, and it begins raining on him, "spoiling" his look. He pulls his pistol, aims at the sky, and yells up at Jehovah..."I never tolt you to rain on me"...and starts firing. Yes, he is sober while doing this.

If I can add this in, I will.

I had planned on naming the character "Walker", after the famous real-life Texas Ranger. It was only after I had written the first three chapters that I remember that Chuck Norris had a TV series by that name. Oops. In my drafts, I still occasionally come across a "Walker" or a misspelling thereof.

His family

John Stevens as the son of a drunkard and the grandson of a horsethief brands himself by living a honorable and most importantly, responsible, life. He too, saw Texas as an independent state, but John can do what his bother, and Juan Cortina , couldn’t. He accepts the fact that his cause lost. John’s vision of Texas is that of Anglo and Hispanic cultures blending better then they actually do. He is a just man who is quite as capable of killing as his brother is: since he doesn't like the idea, John will only kill at necessity.

Pa was only twelve when he witnessed the slaughter of Mexicans at San Jacinto. What Wallace considers as “unmanned” is simply the fact that Pa saw enough blood as a child to never again want to see it. Wallace probably would have drank it up as glory, but his father wasn’t able to handle it. He takes up the bottle after marriage after his wife makes it clear that intimacy is a marital duty, and not a pleasure for her.

Ma is not a cold woman, but she has been defined by her own family life. Her mother died in childbirth, and she associates the marital act with death more then the creation of life. She is an intelligent and driven woman, and protects her family by giving her children the education that bores Wallace and puts John on the path of discipline. She does love her husband, but can’t give him herself the way he wants.

Grandpa was a bandit on the Natchez Trace before moving to Texas in time for the Runaway Scrape, and the battle of San Jacinto. He was as enthusiastic in looting the bodies of the dead as he was in creating those bodies by killing Mexicans that were begging for mercy. Grandpa took the name of Stevens as a adaption of his original name; Grandpa was avoiding his other contribution to history. To wit, getting thrown off the Lewis and Clark expedition for drunkenness wile wintering near St. Louis.

The Story So Far

Part One, in which Wallace Stevens returns home from the Civil War, then joins the Texas Rangers.
Part Two, wherein our desperado steals a Comanche princess and deserts the Rangers.
Part Three, in which Wallace attempts to return home again yet to put himself into more trouble.
Part Four describes the shootist's adventures as a hired gun in Mexico.
Part Five, wherein Wallace reminisces over his favorite weapons.
Part Six returns the gunman to New Orleans, where he joins a buffalo hunting crew.
Part Seven in which Wallace reflects on killing and the War.
Part Eight relates the tale of buffalo hunting and the last of the buffalo Indians.
Part Nine, wherein Wallace reflects upon his life with the fairer sex
Part Ten brings misfortune to our unreconstructed rebel.
Part Eleven, in which Wallace is quartered in Austin far longer than he'd like.