The thing is I never did like austin, It was full of banditos, and I aint talkin about sam bass or Ben Thompson. that jackass legislature stolt more than the whole Comanche nation ever did.

at first I dint really give a damn cause of I was doped up all the time. every time I wanted to get out of that damn bed, Mariah would jist stuff more laudanum into me and knock me out again. every time I been wounded afore, I would jist pour a little gunpowder on it and fire it off. then jist get right back to what I needed to do, cept Id favor whatever part of me was cut up.

but no, I was all plastered up and doped up, and ever time I could start to see straight or to argue with Mariah, Id get a mouthful of that nasty juice. at first Id spit it out, but shed trick me by only let me have water that was full of it. then I took sick on top of all the broken bones. My bother John and the other Johns and the rest of the buff crew all come by to pay their respects, but I was always passed out. then if she wasnt stuffin me full of laudanum , she was stuffin me full of cayenne pepper. I was so bad off she was even wipin my bottom for me.it took near four months before she let me have moren an hour or two of bein awake.

and I so so weak it was mortifyin. once she let me stay awake I could see that the bones had all healt, but I was all loose skin and flab and skinny. all that time bangin steel as a kid and liftin dead buff had put a nice build on me, but that was all pissed away sos that I looked the storekeep. plus a which, I hadnt had a woman in four months. I kept trying to pull Mariah into the bed with me, but she woulnt pull, and it still hurt too much to keep pullin, oh no she wouldnt smack my hand or nothin, she jist wouldnt come, but sat there with a little smile on her face. I swore soons as I got better Id kiss a bigger smile on there. lucky she had a coupla gals helpin her out with me, nurses I guess. one of em was a high yella gal, susan. I joshed her and smiled at her, and she was happy to make that hurt go away. I werent no good at it, but kept tirin out. she made sure I had my fun, though, and dint seem to mind I dint finish her off.

Im glad the other one dint want to heal me like that. she was a fat ol woman with a weasel face. its a sad thing for a man to be weak, and a sad thing for a woman to be ugly. I aint sayin I never bronc busted with an ugly gal, I jist never looked at her whilst doin it. if your really gonna enjoy bronc bustin, you need to want to be ridin with your partner. aint no woman wants a weak man, and aint no man wants an ugly gal.

I guess the one good thing about bein passed out that whole time was that my brother John had got me all squared away with the law. I spect he bribed the guvnor for a pardon. anyways, by the time I woke up, I was no longer wanted by any law.

It took another month before I could start teeterin around the house. I spent a good deal of that time arguin with Mariah. shed had me doped up too long for one thing. for another she was always preachin at me bout killin and bronc bustin. she still wouldnt pull either, damn her. at least with Ma yammerin at me, shed have the good book to back her, but Mariah was always preachin some nonsense about we was all one person. she tolt me Id never kill nobody no more too, I was fine with that so longs as other folkd laid offa me and dint interfere with me, and I tolt her that right back. then I rememberd back to that voodoo woman in new orleans and her guff about killin and me bein a slave to her sister. considerin how longd Mariah had me cooped up in plaster and dope, I asked her bout it. she give me some humdinger of a story about some sisterhood of the moon or some such. it was jist like Ma awavin her bible and her manners at me. dint make no sense, sos I paid no mind to it. finally, Mariah got mad at me for lettin susan nurse me the way I wanted. I tolt her if she dint like it, Id been pullin on her the whole time and she dint want to anyways.

she still doctored me after that, but we stopped talkin to each other. I tried thankin her for savin my life, sos not to be ungrateful, but she was not havin it. I aint gonna accept nobodys hospitality if they dont want me around, sos I left. I was too weak to saddle up and ride outta austin, though. I took a room at the Hannig building downtown, and started a good diet of beefsteak, as I was jist too scrawny.

bein scawny and weak, and havin a bad arm got me shot again. some damn fool drunk got mad at me for bumpin him as I staggered down Pecan street. he wouldn't take my apology sos I say the hell with you and he faces up to me. He draws and I caint even get my LeMat outta the holster. good thing he was drunk coz he just put the bullet in my leg. I ended up knockin him down by fallin into him. then Ben Thompson come by. he was the city marshal, and I heard of him as a mean sonafbitch from way back.

he sure proved it too. first he arrested the drunk bastard what shot me. then he tried to arrest me for bein drunk, which I aint even had a drink atall. Im lyin there bleedin from my leg without the faintest damn whiff of whiskey about me, but Ben wouldnt lissen. sos I tolt him to go to hell too. then he beat the hell out of me.

I woke up back in bed at Mariah's, plastered up and full of goddamn laudanum again. susan werent there either.

I sure never did like austin, but I was stuck here for a whils.

Oh, I'm a good old rebel,
that's what I am;
And for this land of freedom,
I don't care a damn,
I'm glad I fought agin her,
I only wish we'd won,
And I don't axe any pardon for anything I've done.

I served with old Bob Lee, three years about,
Got wounded in four places and starved at Point Lookout;
I caught the rheumatism a-campin' in the snow,
But I killed a chance of Yankees and wish I'd killed some mo'.

I hate the constitooshin,
this great republic too;
I hate the mouty eagle,
an' the uniform so blue;
I hate their glorious banner, an' all their flags an' fuss,
Those lyin', thievin' Yankees, I hate 'em wuss an' wuss.

I won't be re-constructed I'm better now than them

John Stevens:

It is sad to say I spent quite a bit of time laughing at my brother the second time he was laid up. He wanted to thank me for getting him the pardon, but he just would not say the words. He would screw himself into a frenzy, then burst into a chorus or two of "I'm a Good Ol Rebel".

I did let him off the hook, but me and Miss Mariah made him wriggle on it for a bit first. I was beginning to enjoy a little bit too much of her company. She had a very determined femininity that brought out the man in you. However, being happily married and wanting to stay that way, I never pressed the issue further. Wallaces's frustration with a lack of female companionship in the way that he desired was also funny. He tried to sneak a soiled dove into the house by throwing paper missives out the window with the most ridiculous stories of being held ransom and needing the lady to rescue him.

I had to get back to the ranch, so I asked Wallace to come visit once he had healed fully. From his constant complaints about Austin, I didn't think it would be long.

The Story So Far

Part One, in which Wallace Stevens returns home from the Civil War, then joins the Texas Rangers.
Part Two, wherein our desperado steals a Comanche princess and deserts the Rangers.
Part Three, in which Wallace attempts to return home again yet to put himself into more trouble.
Part Four describes the shootist's adventures as a hired gun in Mexico.
Part Five, wherein Wallace reminisces over his favorite weapons.
Part Six returns the gunman to New Orleans, where he joins a buffalo hunting crew.
Part Seven in which Wallace reflects on killing and the War.
Part Eight relates the tale of buffalo hunting and the last of the buffalo Indians.
Part Nine, wherein Wallace reflects upon his life with the fairer sex
Part Ten brings misfortune to our unreconstructed rebel.