CONVERSATION WITH A COINCIDENCE THEORIST (SATIRE)

A coincidence theorist explains some of the details regarding the 9/11 crime.

Truth Seeker:  I’m just still not convinced of your coincidence theory about 9/11.  Osama bin Laden worked for the CIA, and his family had business ties with the Bush family.

Coincidence Theorist:  Sheer coincidence. Small world, ya know.    

Truth Seeker:  And some of the other hijackers also had ties to U.S. intel agencies.  Not only that, but some of them were snorting cocaine and boozing it up.  Not exactly the most rigid practicioners of Islam, now were they?

Coincidence Theorist:  Yes, quite the clever ploy to make themselves look normal.    

Truth Seeker (sarcastic): I’m glad you haven’t yet resorted to outrageous fallacies. Anyway, tell me about the coincidence that government agencies were doing drills of planes being flown into buildings on the day of 9/11.

Coincidence Theorist:  That just goes to show that the terrorists are much craftier than we give them credit for.  How else do you think Osama bin Laden hid in a cave for so many years? He was obviously far brighter than anyone gave him credit for.    

Truth Seeker:  Yes, he did manage to outwit the most ubiquitous panopticon surveillance in history.    

Coincidence Theorist (smug):  Yep.  And all the money he made on the put options helped him hideout a lot longer.    

Truth Seeker:  Ah, so he was behind the insider trading leading up to 9/11 as well? Is that why the SEC destroyed records pertaining to that?

Coincidence Theorist:  Duh! You think the SEC wants people to know how vulnerable the SEC is?

Truth Seeker:  Very interesting theory.  (rolls eyes) How was it that the so-called plane made a direct hit on the budget analyst office in the Pentagon that was investigating trillions of missing dollars from the Pentagon budget? And that Rumsfeld had announced the missing money the day before the attacks? Is that a coincidence, too?

Coincidence Theorist:  Lucky strike.

Truth Seeker:  Lucky strike?

Coincidence Theorist:  Yep.  And I know what you’re gonna say about the photos where you can’t see the plane at the pentagon.  Don’t even go there.  You just don’t want to admit how fast and efficient the clean-up crews were.    

Truth Seeker:  But a crime scene is supposed to be investigated before anything else happens.    

Coincidence Theorist:  Stop picking on the clean-up crew!

Truth Seeker:  Ok, ok, enough about the pentagon.  What about the BBC announcing that the WTC 7 collapsed before it actually happened?

Coincidence Theorist:  Hard to say, really.  It could have been human error.  But I do know this, there is significant time difference between New York and England, so that might have caused the confusion.    

Truth Seeker (dumbfounded):  Really?

Coincidence Theorist:  Sure.  You’ve never had jet lag?

Truth Seeker:  No.  Is it similar to coincidence theory nausea? I think that’s what I’m feeling right now.    

This post was partly inspired by truth seeking @

https://www.corbettreport.com/911-a-conspiracy-theory/ 

Thanks for your time and attention!

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