I did not know a happy smiley God. I knew a vengeful God, worshipped by adults that overflowed with self loathing and self hatred. (The public saw the smiles, like they do on the Hillsong videos – but those smiles disappear when the public, and the cameras, are no longer there).

I feel you on this, but I'm sure you can ascertain that from what I've written in my book. I don't think it's a coincidence that Utah, the home of the highest percentage of Mormons, is the leading state in antidepressant use.

Christianity is about denying our true nature, our physical needs, our emotional pain, and our 'evil' thoughts. That's how pedophilia and abuse is allowed to flourish. We can only roust those things out of people and their hearts with honesty amongst ourselves and other people. If you scatter light onto your pain, the pain is often diminished just by acknowledging its existence.

But having evil thoughts and pains is ungodly. It means you're tainted. So we push those things down and they flourish in the dark as we keep on smiling.

The older I get the more I'm convinced God definitively does not exist. The universe flourishes on reason. Everything born here was born to survive and grow, and in order to grow there must be a kind of love. A love for life and for your fellow species. I see none of that in the Judeo-Christian God.