This is the true story of how you will be my first. The first person I kill.
I first saw you weeks ago, and it was like every cliché you can imagine. My world slowed to a crawl and I watched as you walked in, my breath quickened, and my pupils dilated. It was you, imperfectly perfect, all I have been waiting for my whole life. My one and only, the first person I would kill.
Ducking back down I felt a sudden panic. Did you see me, when your eyes locked on mine did you even notice? I couldn't let you see me. I can’t let it be known that we had a visit at the same spot, how could it be a random senseless act if we had crossed paths.
I wonder what the authorities will think. Maybe they’ll think you got into it with somebody online, and they came and sought revenge in the real world. You do spend an awful lot of time online, and watching you I hardly ever saw your phone out of your hand. It’s OK, I would spend a lot of time online too if my current thoughts weren’t plagued with you. Your eyes. Your nose and mouth. The way your hair never quite seems to stay in a fashion that says you intended it to be. How you'll look when you see me for hopefully the first and last time. Will you be scared? Will you even know what’s going on? I’ve played the scene out in my head countless times, three different ways that I want to do it. I know I have to pick but choosing feels like I’m picking the favorite child.
I wonder if you will see my post. I admit it was through you that I learned about your favorite sites, and this one was among the top five. I wanted to give you a chance, it only seems fair. You can stop me. It’s all here for you. You can see that I’ve been following you. You can see what I’m going to do. Part of me hopes you see it. Part of me hopes it adds a little bit more excitement. Maybe just glance at this post, you see the title but don’t read it. You skim it. Or you read it through. Of course it can’t be about you, why would anybody want to do that to you. You don’t put yourself out there, you don’t draw attention in a crowd. What would make somebody like me notice someone like you...
If you do read this I hope you put a weapon by your bed, that is when I’m going to do it. See when you’re home asleep, that’s when you should feel safest. When you wake up because you can feel my eyes on you before you even see me, before you see what I’m holding, your heart will already start to race like the scared rabbit you are. I wonder if I’ll hear your heart pounding. Thudding louder and louder as you try to figure out, in the dark, what feels off in what used to be your safe room. Just about to explode out of your ribcage when I make my move. Soft movements and a flash of color before I’m on top of you.
It was easy enough to map out your room. As easy as it was to map your habits. Don’t worry...I have no intention of making a mess. Making a bloody sacrifice. I’ve seen many crime scene clean ups....I wouldn’t want to put anyone through that. I’ve contemplated taking you with me. Make you vanish forever. But that seems like a lot less fun to me. The games only half way over when your character is dead. The rest of the fun is just about to start.
But don’t get me wrong. You play the biggest part in our saga. Well, second only to me I suppose. But without you, there would be no me. There would be no us. And baby we are beautiful together. We complete each other....at least, you complete me. In my wildest dreams I could not have crafted you more perfectly. You, my perfect little lamb. My unfulfilled target. My one and only. The start of my everything. The first person I will kill.