Uncontrollable Laughter
I love to laugh
A broken rib is tough to love
I love to laugh
But right now, it hurts
You make me laugh
Just anything you say will do
You make me laugh
so hard it hurts
I can't not laugh
I love to laugh
You make me laugh
It hurts
Just like our love
It hurts
Just like our love
So worth it
Dedicated to my precious @techslut
I think the last time you've shown me a poem you wrote was... 9 years ago? Something like that.
I am particularly fond of the final segment, where you repeat the same line twice:
That was good. We'll get you back to being the poet your name declared you as :P
Interesting, I didn't notice that. I wrote it as 4 lines each, and I was thinking about removing the line breaks to make it so:
1
2
3
4
1
2
3
4
etc.
But the portion you mentioned is 5 lines, so if I did it that way, it wouldn't exist.
And now that you point it out, I really like it too!
If you check my poems, I tend to have the last stanza break the format, whether by having it be an extra line, having a separated line, or introducing rhyming after not doing it in the other sections.
I think the ending should stick, and making it stand out by rules-breaking in it helps you do so.
You're still missing a line somewhere to end up with 4-4-5 though. Might be worth going for it. I'd put it just before the first "It hurts," as the final line in the second stanza.
I didn't want this block of text as part of the post, so I'm adding it down here.
I'm not even sure when the last time I wrote a poem, but @geekorner has been posting a lot of them lately and forcing me (ok, asking nicely) to read them.
This is one of those times when I've dreamt something. I dreamt the beginning of the poem, and then I added the rest.
Ah yes, and my account name is poet, I can't have this account not have any poetry on it.
Thanks for noting I asked nicely :P
It's also easier to ask nicely now that I get feedback on all my poems. Then again, it got to be easier in the past as well after I got used to no feedback either.
Keep going :)
I don't remember the last time I've laughed like that...
Laughter sweetens the soul😊
Beautiful
Nicely done :)