Photo by Ian Schneider on Unsplash
It was about a minute and thirty seconds to a new year, it was midnight, New year's eve, December 31st, 2010. We both knew what were in our minds. The countdown was on, people screaming loudly 10, 9, 8, 7.....3, 2, 1. Both of our faces drawing closer, lips reaching to touch just when it hits 0.
My emotions were high so many thoughts running through my mind. I couldn't still believe I was with Dorcas, I was about to kiss her, I couldn't believe that I was here, I was bold enough to come out of my house by this time. I couldn't believe I was alone with her, I couldn't believe I left my house without telling anyone if my mum knew this she would kill me. I have never done this before so many thoughts running through my mind within the one minute and 30 seconds
Its been 4 days we last saw december 27th 2010 she told me that she would like to spend the new years eve with me. she told me where to meet her. I had always passed that route but never been there so late at night but anyways what else would I be doing. Would I trade my time spent on my new video game (FIFA 11) for a day with Dorcas? Yes, a million time over. I penned down the details, it was a popular street, a major road where people department from or arrive to Abuja by road transportation. She told me to meet her at the square, Mountain of Fire Fountain, Jabi.
We had been speaking on phone since the last four days, my mind running through back and forth on those words she used when I saw her last "I don't date boys but we could be friends with benefits." I was confused, I finally had a moment with someone special, I wanted a relationship but couldn't have one, i didn't want to lose Dorcas, her eyes, her body, her shape, perfection. She neither wanted friendship nor did she want a relationship she wanted a friend with benefits. Within those three days I had been working on my speech on what to say and to win her over. I had Tobi my friend and for the moment my relationship coach to help me through after explaining everything to him. But he told me to play the game she wanted, I wouldn't even budge, I was adamant. I wanted a relationship and I knew in my heart it could be possible, I had been waiting for this moment for far too long.
December 31st, it was 23:00 an hour to midnight. I waited for about 15 minutes to be sure everyone had gone to bed. I put on a jean and a casual top with my sneakers and quietly I left my room, went downstairs, open the gates slowly. I turned on my ignition at the garage then, I drove off. It takes about 20 minutes to get there and I was getting late. By the time I got there it was 23:40 i hadn't seen Dorcas. Mountain of Fire Fountain was rowdy and noisy. In the midst of the crowd her phone wasn't going through due to network congestion and even when it went through it was so noisy I could hardly hear her. Finally, I saw her, I was elated, I thought I would miss this opportunity the whole purpose would have be a waste, I would go home empty and angry.
It was 23:55, walking away from the crowd with Dorcas heading towards the car. We got to the car just in time a minute and thirty seconds, alone together, looking at each other, holding our hands with one thought in our mind, waiting for the final second with the voices of the crowd echoing ahead of us.
00:00 our lips getting closer, still my mind with a thousand thoughts, emotions running high but suddenly, I paused, I stop and told her that I couldn't do this, I wanted to talk. I still had my speech rehearsed and I needed to say it out before we head down this long road. I wanted it clear that I wanted I relationship. I didn't want to be some side guy among others or to be a play toy for fun. I had my speech planned out and I knew, I had the feeling she would say yes. I started "Dorcas I want to be more than a friend to you, I want to be more than just friends with benefits, I want you...a relationship..." Before I could finish my words she cut through and the few words I could recall her saying "If it's a relationship you want....then we are done, it's over."
I was dumbstruck, lost out of words, I never imagined this would happen. I became so cold, and felt a sick feeling in my stomach. I knew I had blown up my one good opportunity, I didn't know what to say or do and there I was thinking about what Tobi said, that I should play along, it was 00:02. A long silence emerged, the longest I had ever had with her. There was still a long day ahead of us and everything is going wrong. "What do I do now" I thought in my mind. I told her "let's take a walk."