Letter to myself. Hello young Noemi...

in #writing6 years ago (edited)

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Dear Noemi, I write to you ...
I do not know exactly what to said to you my darling, you are nineteen years and you are crying for a fool and i must say that to you, do not cry for a stupid like him, others will follow more stupid and you will cry for those too.
I would like to tell you to take better care of yourself and have less fear. I would like to talk about a couple of people from whom you should stay away, but knowing you. you would not listen to me, you would do it your way and you would be wrong, you're stubborn.
But I warn you that you will pass trogh all the s...t , you will pass the desire to make mistakes and even stubbornness, you will be so tired of fighting that you will give up and you will feel for a moment the feeling of being at peace.
I know, you do not believe me, you still have twenty years and you think you can control everything and you imagine a smooth life like in the movies, I see you, you are figuring out tp finish your studies with high marks, get out of' university and find a good job all ' abroad, well paid and serene, you imagine then to find a nice guy with blond hair and a smile that never darkens, I see you married and with a couple of children, very good behaved and with big blue eyes.
Here is dear Noemi, come back down to earth and come to say in the throne of swords "Get ready, winter is coming".
Not all things will go as you wanted, in fact, I do not want to lie to you, maybe just one, maybe....

There will be a moment, however, when you realize the collapse of your dreams that will not matter, because that's okay too, here is where I would like to take you and that's where I wish you could stay forever, where the unexpected it was an adventure and not a worry, where tomorrow was not scary even if uncertain, where it did not matter because a sun ray and a good book were enough and everything seemed to go in its place.

I wish I could protect you from what will happen next, from all the things that will hurt you and make you an adult that is often worn out and sad.

I would like to tell you only that in some cases you will make it, even when you feel like you will not make it, there will be days when life will seem to want to break you but you will not let it.

You will have so much pain and anger and it will be hard to take them off, I'm still working on it dear Noemi but before the forty account to make it to take away some burden from me.

I can not promise you that it will always be easy and beautiful, I would be lying, but there will be very beautiful and easy moments, where you will feel so beautiful, carefree and happy not to believe it true.
You'll do absurd things that now that you're young you think inappropriate, but in a couple of years will be those you remember with a beautiful smile, thinking "Of course I was just a maiden" and that great side of your carefree and crazy attitude you will miss a lot.

There will be moments where a ugly boy will make you feel bad, inadequate, overweight and unsuitable, do not allow it because you are not and will be enough a couple of years after you have left to discover that he had put in your head many things but with a heart in his hand I will tell you that some of them will be hard to remove them from your head and that you will come back to see you fat and ugly in some moments of your life even if you are neither of the two things and it is obvious to everyone but you.

I want to tell you that you will grow and that you will soon be independent and at the beginning it will seem hard but after you do not want to go back, you will discover at great cost the taste of freedom and the strength to be yourself in spite of everything and everyone, this will cost you friendships , loves and sacrifices but as a famous phrase says "You change to continue, not to be understood .."
Many will not understand your choices and some will not even understand you, you will grow and wish to change them, but the milk is now poured and you can do very little.
You will fall so many times and you will get up, stronger but more dented, there will be wounds that will take a long time to heal.
You will have very dark moments, you will clash with anxiety and panic attacks, I will not tell you that you will heal in a blink of an eye, but you will try to understand and I really believe that you will come out better than before.

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One thing is certain you will not get bored, you will try jobs that you could not even imagine ., men, some will like you others you would have preferred not to try, jobs and men.
Again you will learn a few languages ​​and notions but you will understand how to get by with a house with clogged flue and frozen pipes.
There are fears of which you will not free yourself, others that will seem foolish, you will lose some friends, or better, make a skimming, the real ones will remain by your side.
You will change and much, will change your tastes and your desires and many times will change your hair.

But you do not have any white yet so enjoy it.
In ten years I warn you it will not be a easy game and you will not believe me, but you will have a bald boyfriend, now it seems impossible but it is just like that, you will live in the same place even if you have changed several houses before, but you will live alone because your mother she got married and left you a free house, which will make you grateful as you will have serious difficulties in paying a rent with your poor wages.
You will not be married and you will not have children and believe me saw the individuals that you were chosen is better this way, thanks heaven that you have not been trapped with the wrong man.
You will not have the work of your dreams but now you will not even know what the work of your dreams is anymore so go quiet.
In short, dear Noemi I'll tell you, in ten years you'll still have a lot of work to do but you'll have learned several lessons, the first is that badly tequila and the second is that you will change again and in ten years who knows what the hell you will combine.

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