Dave's Diary Entry II: Bamboozled

Dave's Diary Entry II

"Nothing I can't stand more than some dude in a snow cap in the middle of summer and can't even muster somethin' more than a neck beard tryin' to tell me how to life my life."
-Dave

The nice thing about these new cars is the technological advances. The bad thing about these new cars is the technological advances.

Let’s face it, we are creatures of habit and for those of us who were born when CDs were still a thing and know the actual beauty of hard work for a living and making money to buy them, know the hardships we faced making great compilations for parties. Kids these days just download, often illegally, and wouldn’t know work from a welfare office. They can just ask itunes or whatever to randomize their shit playlist and off they go.

Anyhow, I demanded a 12 disc capacity cd player to be installed in the two new cars I picked up from the accident last week. If you missed Entry I, here you go: Take me to pleasure town

Today the installations were finally completed. You should've seen the kid asking why I had it installed. Seriously, when you can grow a real beard, snowflake, you can ask me grown-up questions.

Now, you're probably dying to know what cars I pulled off adding to my domain after that whole thing last week. Well, I wanted a ride that said, this guy has money but he’s also socioeconomically aware of the hardships facing those around him. So I went with the Mercedes G-Class SUV.

You know, that luxury box lookin’ thing. You figure it can’t be too expensive but then when you look it up online, you know the person driving it is oozing with classiness the average man could only dream of. And from an environmental standpoint I went with the 416 horsepower version rather than the 621 horsepower model.

Now this was good for two reasons:

1. I can sleep at night knowing I’ve done my part for the protection of future generations.
2. This left me roughly 100,000 to choose another car.

As you probably know by now, I’m a bit of an enthusiast. I love classics and turns out the guy sleeping with my coworkers wife does too. Man oh man, the things this guy will do to keep a secret. Turns out he has a family too and his wife is the breadwinner not him. I know, I know, I don’t mean that as a bad thing, it’s just important for the context of this story.

Anyhow, he’d be financially ruined, so I got the Mercedes worked out and on top of that I got to pick one ride from his garage. You won’t believe it, sitting in there was a pristine 1969 Alfa Romeo 1750 Spider Veloce. We’re talking the real deal hear, too – 1,77pcc Alloy 4-Cylinder Twin-cam 5-speed transmission with less than 40,000 miles logged.

The things people do to keep a secret.

I decided to take this puppy for a spin (it also had the same cd player installed) I went through some of my old CD’s closed my eyes and grabbed one at random. I don’t believe in guilty pleasures, it’s just weakness not able to overcome one’s own insecurities.

“Sexy boy” by Air began to play. Instantly I was taken back to an apartment real close to the accident that had just happened a few weeks before. I was studying out at a university away from Seattle but my best friend was still back home. Which is cool for him but I just had to get away for awhile to discover myself, you know? So I went to school in Cali.

Anyway, I was back up visiting him at his new apartment. He had just moved, I mean, we're talking most stuff was still in boxes. We figured we better break it in and went down to the local grocery store and picked up two 24 packs of Rainier Beer. If you haven’t had it, that’s criminal – go try it, like yesterday.

We got back to the place and It was a hot day and we didn't have air conditioning so we left the doors and windows open, ordered some pizza, and were shooting the shit when someone walked past our open door.

“Damn, did you see that? Oh man, now that’s a woman!” My indignant friend said.

I proceeded to tell him about how much hotter all the girls in San Jose were when suddenly there was a knock. Ok, I’ll admit it, they were decent and they wanted to party.

“Pizza! Beer! Two hot dudes. You boys got room for two more?”

Brad, calm and collected responded, “I suppose so. I suppose so.” He then looked at me and said, "Let 'em mooch for a little cooch, na mean?"

DISCLAIMER: This was 2005 and objectifying women was a completely adequate and accepted response for low self-esteem issues.

“We live next door in room 102,” one girl said. “I hope it’s ok we are just sort of busting in.”

And the party began. We were all laughing, drinking, and having a good time. There was an amazing connection. We had all had a few beers over the course of about 30 minutes. Shotgunning mainly, which is fun for sure. I went to grab another beer and was relieved to see there was still about 5 more in our first 24 pack. We had plenty for the rest of the night knowing there was another 24 reserve pack in the hallway by the front door. The compilation CD I had made had almost ran it’s course but just then magic happened. “Sexy Boy” by Air came on.

**Air - Sexy Boy**

“AHHHHHHHH. I love this song. Oh. M. F. G. This is my jam!!” Stacey delighted.

“I love it, too. I made this compilation.” I said proudly.

“Teehee, you’re silly.” She said but then was interjected by Tina.

“Did you boys know that there is a hotel pool around the corner? No one is watching it on weekdays we could go skinnydipping.” Tina said. “Stacey, come on – let’s go grab some towels.”

They walked out of the place. Brad and I did a couple celebratory dances and made a few bets about who was going to score first. About 10 minutes had passed and the girls still weren’t back. We decided to go knock on their door, maybe they were waiting for us.

I knocked on the door, a man with a Rainier Beer in hand answered.

“Can I help you, brother?”

“Oh, uh sorry. I got the wrong room I think.”

I went back to the room where I found Brad who looked quite perplexed.

“You alright, dude?” I asked.

“Can you believe we drank two 24 packs of beer already?” he asked. “And I can’t find my computer.”

---

Thanks for reading!

@musingsltd is just a dude living in Japan, which has been his home for the last four years. His goal is to share his cultural insights about Japan and America with readers from both countries, creating a bridge of understanding between his two homes. He also blogs sports, terrible gambling insights, draws comics that lack art in every sense of the word and gives unsolicited advice. Why not kick your reservations to the curb and follow the guy, huh?

Drawings were done by @musingsltd

---

Dave's Diary Entry I is here
Mercedes image credit
Alfa Romero Image Credit