Wow @arthur.grafo I really can't thank you enough for such a beautiful response to my story. No one has ever put things to me that way but it makes so much sense. I've never thought of that little girl as a seperate entity but she really is. It's like two different lives. It's been a chore silencing her demons and then just dealing with them when that would no longer work. You've made me realize some things and you've given me a lot to think about. Thank you so much for taking the time to read and respond.. you have gained a new follower and I look forward to our paths crossing again.