The promise: a short story // La promessa: una storia breve - [ENG/ITA]

in #writing7 years ago (edited)

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They had waited since they greeted each other for this moment. Now finally they was in front of each other and they couldn't believe it. Twenty years had passed since they broke up with the promise that they would see one another again exactly at that time in that pub.

Robert was 40 years old and a lifetime dedicated to run away from his difficult situation.. He was never married. Andrea was 38 years old and she was married with a good man but she never really loved him.

They broke up because their love was impossible.. she was an important doctor's daughter, while he'd that never known his father and had living out of expedients to help his family, in the meantime, he was studying because his dream was to escape from his reality.

Robert succeeded it... he started working in a little body shop, breathing varnish and working 12 hours a day.. he had come to own a chain of "boutique for the car", a new service for cars.

Andrea has never forgotten Roberto. She was married to a lawyer against her will , never had a baby and she had no followed her passion for fashion design. Everyone told her didn't has to work. Her life was kind of sad and she had tried many times to leave her husband without to find the courage.

All they had was only a promise... Who would believe that after 20 years they would keep that promise?

One look... one kiss and it was as if no time has passed.Two guys promising to love each other forever... two adults who are ready to cancel those memories and to live their future life together.

Love knows no borders, love knows no distance... time cannot make that false which once was true.

True love is forever.

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ITALIAN VERSION

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Avevano aspettato quel momento da quando si erano salutati. Adesso finalmente erano uno davanti all'altra e non riuscivano a crederci. Erano passati 20 anni da quando si erano lasciati con la promessa che si sarebbero rivisti esattamente a quell'ora in quel Bar di periferia.

Roberto, 40 anni e una vita dedicata a scappare dalla sua difficile situazione, non si era mai sposato. Andrea 38 anni si era sposata con un bravo uomo ma non l'aveva mai amato davvero.

Si erano lasciati perchè il loro amore era impossibile, lei figlia di un importante dottore e della borghesia, lui che il padre neanche lo aveva mai conosciuto, viveva di espedienti, spesso illeciti, per aiutare la famiglia e nel frattempo studiava perchè il suo sogno era di scappare dalla sua realtà.

Roberto ci era riuscito.. era partito lavorando in autocarrozzeria di periferia, respirando pittura e spezzandosi la schiena 12 ore al giorno ed era arrivato ad avere una catena di boutique per l'auto, un nuovo servizio che si era inventato.

Andrea non si era mai dimenticata di Roberto.Sposata quasi per obbligo a un facoltoso avvocato, non aveva mai avuto figli e non aveva mai seguito la sua passione per il disegno sartoriale.Non serviva lavorasse, le dicevano.. ma la sua vita era tremendamente vuota. Aveva più volte cercato di lasciare suo marito senza trovare il coraggio di farlo.

Una promessa.. chi poteva credere al fatto che dopo vent'anni entrambi l'avrebbero mantenuta?

Uno sguardo, un bacio e fu come se il tempo non fosse mai passato. Due ragazzini appena maggiorenni che si promettono amore eterno.. due adulti che sono disposti a cancellare il passato e vivere il futuro insieme.

L'amore non ha confini, non soffre le distanze. Neanche il tempo può scalfirlo.

L'amore vero è per sempre.

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I like this story!
And your English is so good :-)

Thanks... not so good but i'm improving it ;-)

Meeting in the same place as arranged 20 years earlier is a great theme for a story. It’s a happy ending story, although some prudes would dissaprove of a married woman meeting up with her ex. You just got very lucky with my voting power. It seems to have shot up to $40 per vote.

Hi my friend!
Wow thanks for your big upvote, I'm glad you enjoyed my short story. Like I said before, really like your initiative. A story in only 300 words... it's a big challenge.

True love really lasts forever.
I noticed some errors, and then I saw in a comment that you are using Steemit to improve your English. So--this is good.
You made it easy for the reader to believe your story.

Thanks @jeffways.. i'm trying to do my best!

Que linda historia de amor verdadero, conozco muchos casos parecidos, felicitaciones @mitti, muy buena.

¡Me alegra que te haya gustado! (I hope this google translation works well...)

te lei perfecto, : )

Great story. I really liked it. True love forever! Good luck.

Отличная история. Мне очень понравилось. Истинная любовь навсегда!!! Удачи.

Hi mate, thanks! ;-)

Bravo miti

Grazie ;-)

I thought the first and second paragraphs [English version] set the stage for a great plot, which unfortunately..

Starting from paragraph 3, shortly gets jumbled up, made ambiguous by the errors- Spellings, grammar, tense...logicality of flow is also distorted....

The last three paragraphs again bring to life, the story's captivating end....If only the bridge [middle paragraphs weren't ambiguous!]

The Italian version is probably well constructed. I wish i could read Italian...

Hi @ebitularmbert and thanks for your comment. I'm sorry.. I'm using steemit to improve my English. So I really appreciate your honesty.

And i am moved by your honesty, and humility.

Thanks.

English is not really my native language, in the true sense of the word native, but in my country it is a "National language", used for official communication and at school for instruction. So at least i studied and used it my entire academic and now work life. I have a fairly good command of it.

Like you, I am looking forward to exploiting Steemit for the goal of sharing and learning with your kind. Hopefully we'll have many long days of sharing in each other's works and helping to improve.

Normally, i even offer and revise, and completely re-write to the best of my ability, the writings of people weak in English, then repost in the commentary. That is a great way of learning. It is not always perfect, but i offer it only as a suggestion from where somebody can start off..

I couldn't do that for you today, unfortunately, as i had a somewhat busy schedule.

Should you however require any help, in any way, i am only too glad to offer.

Thanks again.

Thanks! I think you have right mindset to succeed in steemit community. I'm glad to follow you

I am much honored @miti. And now gladly following you. Looking forward to more stories.

Che dolce 😉

Grazie.. c'è un animo dolce in ognuno di noi! ;-)

Ti sei meritato il voto di @swissclive. Vedo che riesci bene nelle storie a natura intimistica e di sentimento.. anche qui un bellissimo messaggio.

Grazie.. ognuno di noi ha un "filone" narrativo in cui riesce meglio. :-)

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