my first attempt to write I want to hear your opinion please

medras (41)in #writing • 7 years ago (edited)

Hi all this is my first attempt to write
my English isn't perfect so please give me your opinion and advice
I don't know if this considered short poem
its just my random thoughts and feelings i called it "when my dreams will see the light?"

when my dreams will see the light?
Am i gonna win the fight?
Nothing in my life going right
I feel the rope around my neck get tight
I keep thinking day and night
When i will be on that flight?
Heading away to meet mr right
feel I'm human and have rights
Suddenly i hear a noise, a warplane in the sight
Back to reality where no light
All my dreams get postponed to the end of this fight :(
Tears fall , heart beat fast
Wishing I'll be happy one night

#introduceyourself #story #help

7 years ago in #writing by medras (41)

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larryphang (69) 7 years ago

I had Resteemed this post. Wish you all the best. Upvoted

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2 votes

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medras (41) 7 years ago

thanks very much
and today i joined @margaretwise #poemchallenge with it
hope they like it

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1 vote

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larryphang (69) 7 years ago

medras (41) 7 years ago

thanks very much i didn't know about this bot

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1 vote

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originalworks (69) 7 years ago

@OriginalWorks Mention Bot activated by @larryphang. The @OriginalWorks bot has determined this post by @medras to be original material and upvoted it!

To call @OriginalWorks, simply reply to any post with @originalworks or !originalworks in your message!

For more information, Click Here!

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carlschrijft (55) 7 years ago

Very creative use of the -ight ending. My English isn't the best either, but you should never let that stand in the way of writing your poems. Poetry is about feelings and I felt your pain. Very good work, I'll reward it with an upvote my friend ;) And off course I'll follow you to see what else is going on in your creative mind.

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2 votes

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