Irving Williams and the Lighthouse Ghost--part 2--Steemit original

in #writing8 years ago (edited)

I am experimenting a trying out a new story here on Steemit.

Click here for part 1

So here is part 2 of:

Irving Williams and the Lighthouse Ghost


Irving’s grandparents lived in a large brick house near the beaches of the Outer Banks in North Carolina. His grandfather was a retired coast guard Captain. He settled in Currituck, North Carolina. He spent his time now leading tours at the Currituck Lighthouse. 

The house was filled from top to bottom with maritime objects, artifacts, and paintings. A large deep water diving suit greeted visitors as they walked in the front door. A four-foot model of the lighthouse stood on an end table, next to a book shelf filled with novels and reference materials about the ocean and maritime history. 

A large painting of a boat navigating rough seas hung over an antique sofa. The sofa that no one was allowed to eat on. 

“Take your stuff upstairs Irving,” instructed his dad.  

Irving walked up a large wooden staircase, he turned to the right, and his bag brushed against table making it wobble. A wooden pirate, complete with a green parrot on the shoulder, wobbled and began to fall. Irving dropped his bag and caught the pirate with both hands. He blew out of his breath and gently put the pirate back. 

“Wow. You would be dead little brother if you didn’t catch that!” Carrie walked past him. 

“Thanks for your help,” Irving replied. 

He picked his bag up and continued down the hall, past a painting about a shark attack, and an aerial photograph of the Outer Banks. He walked into his bedroom. 

His grandparents’ house was large enough that he didn’t have to share his room with anyone. Unlike at home, he shared his room with Lucas, which made visiting his grandparents a welcome change from the routine. 

“I want to go to the beach!” Lucas ran past Irving’s doorway. His mother was in pursuit. 

“We’re not going to the beach until we get unpacked and eat lunch, Lucas. And stop running in the house, you’re bound to break something!” 

Irving put his bag on the bed and unzipped it. He pulled out his clothes and placed them in a chest of drawers that had mermaids and sharks on the handle of the drawers. He closed the drawers. 

He picked a photograph off the top of the chest of drawers. He was about three in the picture, his grandfather was holding a large fish at the end of a fishing line, and next him was a large yellow lab, named Luke. Luke was already old in the photograph. He passed away when Irving was six. 

“Irving get down here and help with lunch!” yelled his father. Irving put the photograph back its place and he bounded down the stairs. 

Lucas was sitting at the large mahogany table. His legs swung back and forth vigorously.  Irving walked past the table and into the kitchen where his father was. 

“Put ice in all the glasses,” his father instructed. 

His grandmother had already lined up seven empty glasses. Lucas began filling them. He placed them one by one back onto the kitchen island. 

His grandfather walked into the kitchen. He placed something on the island. 

Irving put the final cup filled with ice down on the island. He noticed what his grandfather had placed. 

It was a book. 

Ghosts of the Outer Banks, was the title. 

Irving looked up at his grandfather. His grandfather put a finger to his mouth. “Don’t tell your mother,” he whispered. “I’ve seen one. And I’m going to show it to you.”     

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I like how you're setting up the world this family lives in and slowly building the suspense. The only challenge I have with this scene is that I think you kept mixing up Irving and Lucas. Lucas put his bag down and picked up the picture, but Irving is the one who puts the picture down when his dad calls him. Just a few other little edits needed, and this is good.

Thanks for the catch. I'll fix it.

I like your style/voice. It is similar to some other author, but I can't exactly place who. Maybe someone I read as a kid...

As a teacher I read A LOT of chapter books, so I'm copying a lot of books I read in class.

I've noticed, or hope, my writing is influenced by my reading. Or at least the good authors...

That makes sense to go with what works and is familiar because it is a proven concept.

Hi there !! yes i enjoyed reading this ! I have a, not so secret love , for all things concerning the sea ! Tell me did you have problems finding your formatting from your text editor here ?? As i too posted a couple of chapters from a novel which i have written and it was a " ball-leg " to get it back to a readable form as all the text just piled back up into one unreadable lump !! Which editor do you use, i am on Open Office . Good Luck with this eh, good to have some nice reads being posted up !

I write in Word and then copy it into here. I then go back and add the paragraph breaks.

aaaahh yes , so i see we concur on that then ?? Not three ways to skin a monkey here then !! thanks for the reply. ; - )

Great story and I enjoyed the first part as well, looking forward to more. I also wrote my first piece of fiction and would love any feedback.Not my intent to spam or hijack your post and apologize for it.
https://steemit.com/writing/@clevecross/labr-coin-part-one-original-story-of-a-dystopian-future-reliant-on-the-blockchain

No problem I'll check it out.

The catchin of the Pirate statue and the older sister's remark about being dead was funny. :)

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