I never felt Beauty as my ally

When I was 15 I felt in love with a boy , he played guitar liked me and we share a lot of musical moments and as friends. We went to have beer, to watch musical videos and to play guitar at nights.
The problem began when I began to feel something because he wans't kind at the other people, or like people should be.He expressed to me that I was fat and also He say that if I "fixed" my body we could have dates because he liked my personality but not my body. I was "perfect" inside but my body sucked.
This wasn't a good message to receive when you have 15 years old and , yes, you're fat because you don't care about anything and you have a bad eating because of culture (I ate meat).
What happen? I searched "mia" into google.
I found her and even 10 years have past , sometimes, I miss her. Because it is a mix beetwen being thin and being death. Like a dark asshole like me ,it sounds perfect.
But.. I love my smile and "mia" damages my smile, so, When I was 18 I left MIA .

What happen with my stupid lover?
Well, when he saw me being MIA without knowing what I was doing he told me I was beautifull. What a problem!
Y never gonna let MIA rest in peace if he told me that I was beautiful. He never asked me If I was #anorexic or #bulimic
he didin't mind. No one.
I'm not blaming him about this, on the contrary, I feel better with my body , I don't feel beautifull but I feel fine.

What happen with anorexia and bulimia?
Nothing. Every day Remembering myself to not to go to the bath

So, point one. Never talk about your friend's bodies