Ch. 12 (Reaching for Sky)

Chapter 12

Nicki didn’t look as bad once the blood had been cleaned from her skin. Thankfully, all of her injuries were surface wounds and deep bruising at the most. I sat in a cloud of smoke--brooding--trying to ease the multitudinous thoughts of ripping Charlie apart in my mind. Moving beneath the sheets, Nicki slowly rose to wake.
“Good morning,” I said, passing a joint in her direction.
“Hey," Her eyes blinked several times. "Fuck… I thought I was dreaming. But I really am here with you.”
“I can assure you that you’re far from dreaming." My jaw clenched. "What happened to you?”

Nicki sat up taking a deep hit, gently closing her eyes while exhaling.
“I was at home... waiting for Charlie and it got to be late, so I just went to sleep. I couldn’t tell you what time he decided to come crawling into bed, but I knew it was past midnight. He proceeded to take his shirt off and kicked off his shoes, immediately kissing my flesh as he pulled me closer. Completely awoken, I rolled over feeling him undoing his jeans. I knew he wanted sex, the alcohol on his breath made that apparent." My skin was already burning as she went on. "But his gentle invitation had me aroused in return. I climbed on top of him, slowly grinding while he spoke to me. He told me he was ready to explore and take things further… like I’ve always wanted and I got even more excited as he flipped me over, shoving himself inside of me. It was slow at first, flip-flopping positions until he lost control and began pounding into me past the point of enjoyment. When I dug my nails into him--begging for him to slow down..." Tears welled up in her sunken eyes and she struggled to move forward. I placed my hand on her thigh to pass the joint--and she flinched.
"Nicki...no one is going to hurt you here. I need you to tell me what that prick did to you--please?"

"He--uh--he then smacked me across the face, telling me to shut the fuck up." Nicki sniffled here and there. "Sex quickly turned into nonconsensual and no matter how loudly I screamed and cried, Charlie wouldn’t stop. His constant thrusting had me burning inside and out. and his face--Jesus--he looked so empty.” Nicki fought to further hold back her tears. “He…he then called for his friends and they rushed into his room, taking ahold of my arms and legs, tying me down to the mattress. I screamed for Charlie to help me, I thought it was a joke and then began thinking he lost his damn mind. But he instead sat down in his computer chair..." Nicki gritted her teeth in resentment. "The fucking bastard lit a cigarette…a goddamn cigarette, and watched his friend’s rape and beat me.”

The amount of anger and revulsion that emerged had me sick beyond my own understanding. Charlie was a cruel, untamed dog that needed to be put down. My patience had worn thin and I wanted to take Nicki over to Johnny’s and have her retell the story straight away. I offered for Nicki to take a shower in my bathroom before we headed to the Rocko house and before I could pull away to let her be, a dripping hand pulled me back. No words we exchanged, maybe she just wanted the comfort--so I gave it to her. The shower had long gone cold but all we did was bathe and stand beneath the showerhead, holding one another. Nicki rested her head against my chest, listening to my heart like she used to and it damn near killed me inside. It went without saying how safe she still felt with me and it stung my throat and burned my gut feeling her touch me in the way she used to. It was broad daylight and somehow, I had to get us out of the house.
I slightly opened my bedroom door, peering down the hallway to listen for movement. I heard my father clear his throat as the clank of his glass slammed against the wooden end table.
“Shit…” I whispered, closing my door.

Nicki was already standing next to my window by the time I turned back around. She had a history of escaping with me from this God forsaken house. Her secondhand nature of a smile was all but reassuring, so I smirked in return. Just how I used to when we had to go through this shit at a constant. Making it safely outside with absent ease, we straddled my bike and headed over to Johnny's. The guys were already gathered outside the garage, rushing to greet us as we pulled up.
“Jesus Christ, Mali! Come in and shut the door.” Johnny said grimacing at Nicki’s appearance.
“Nicki, tell them what you just told me.”

She went on explaining in gruesome detail what Charlie and his blood-thirsty heathens had done to her. Johnny stood abruptly, gripping the life out of his tool table before slamming it against the wall. Tools bounced and fell from the pegged wall, unable to resist the massive force. I jumped--hell, I think we all had.
“Johnny, this has gone on way too long… and way too far!” Trent bit out.
“What do you propose we do?”
Johnny pulled out his pistol, running the barrel across his bottom lip. “We kill the bastard.”

An eerie pause ensued as we stared at one another. This was it; all of this madness between us had reached a strong verdict. Charlie and his friends were in for a death sentence and we held no remorse in seeing the deed through. We sat around the garage for hours plotting the perfect execution. The mishap truly brought out just how sick each of us really was. We decided to start off by following him around, taking notes on his hangouts and documenting his daily schedule. We learned where he lived, who he was affiliated with, and where he spent most of his time. We took delicate precaution to ensure he had no idea what was coming. I called Tiffany and asked her for a hand in this, it might not have seemed like the most brilliant idea, but she was more than willing to help. Unfortunately, she was going to be our bait. But we had to play it smart in order to stay clear from possible retaliation.

Revenge hour-6 PM

Back at the Rocko house, the guys and I stood clad in black, down to our gloves. Putting on unique handmade gasmasks fabricated from old military chem gear with our weapons of choice, we took a moment to appreciate our rather sophisticated attire for the evening. I was ready for the kill. I was ready for a long, drawn out and torturous ending and I was more than accepting of the pleasure it was going to fill me with.

“You boys ready to roll out?” Trent asked.
All in agreement, we advanced to load up inside Johnny’s car. Trenton gave me an Adderall along the way to stay awake and keep focused but all it did was hype me up even more. We rolled up with our lights off, parking across the street from a small pool hall where Charlie was known to hang out regularly. We waited for Tiffany to give us the signal over the walkie-talkie that they were leaving.
“There they are! Colton pointed towards the opening door.
“Alright, boys, get ready to cut the fucker to pieces!” Johnny growled.

Trenton had parked his truck in the lot earlier, so we had a second vehicle to grab Dean and Raymond. He quietly got out of the car, running over to get inside of his truck while the rest of us sat in wait. Trent and Colton stayed behind to collect the rest of our bounty while we led the way. Tiffany glanced over in our direction beneath the burning street lamp, paling in the face with a conclusive nod as Charlie pulled her tightly into his side. Once they began driving, we followed suit. Tiffany held down the PTT button while they spoke so we could hear their conversation.

“Where do you want to go?” Charlie's voice broke in and out.
“I have a little spot I like to go where no one else knows about.”
“Oh, is that so? Well, show me the way, baby.”
“Fucking idiot.” I chuckled and Johnny shushed me.

We followed them down the dark road that led directly to the old train station. The same one the guys and I liked to go to drink and tag box cars.
“You aren’t taking me to kill me, are you?” He joked.

Tiffany’s nervous laughter crackled through the speaker, saying nothing further. Reaching our destination, we parked about a half-mile away to avoid notice. Tiffany got out, leading Charlie into the abandoned dilapidation.

“Okay, let’s go! Make sure you have everything.” Johnny gave a jerk to the rope that hung on his shoulder.
My heart began racing with each nearing step I made to a place I used to consider my sanctuary. Walls solely structured with the invitation of peace now sat on a wickedly profound platform, weary of unwelcome traumatism. I left my worries and inhibition behind, letting the inner wolf unleash beneath the full moon’s sky. Tiffany flicked on the hanging work lights we strung overhead days before while preparing for this night. The guys and I stood anxiously panting beneath our masks, sweating--nervous--watching Tiff lead Charlie to the group of rusty fold up chairs that centered the room. I licked the salt from my top lip--patience thinned. Charlie was shoved down into a chair, straddled by lollipop legs and a long kiss. I could see Trent lingering in the shadowed distance, walking up ever so cautiously with a spade shovel--gnawed with corrosion. Charlie’s mouth moved to Tiffany’s exposed cleavage--taken by a false anomaly as she released a shortness of breath having seen Trent quickening his steps. Johnny gave a nod for Trent to proceed, so he raised the shovel over Charlie’s head, whacking him as hard as he could without catching Tiff's face with his powerful swing. Charlie slumped over in his chair at an instant and Johnny and I ran over to tie him up.
"Christ, Trent, did ya kill him?"
Trent removed his mask, taking a deep breath. "Sorry--I didn't mean to hit him so hard."
“Where the fuck are the other two?”
“In my truck. I will go help Colton bring them in.”
Jacoby and I raced outside to assist in retrieving our unconscious victims. These guys were knocked out cold and their dead weight felt impossible to lift.
“How’d you capture them?”
“The bartender is an old friend of the family and did me a favor by spiking their drinks. As soon as they came stumbling out, we lured them to the truck. Knocked them both the fuck out and loaded them up before anyone could notice their absence.”
Once we dragged their asses into the building, we slammed each one into a chair while Tiffany bound them to the metal.
“Did you really think I was just going to let you have all the fun?”
We all turned simultaneously, seeing Nicki holding a pistol--puffing on a cigarette.
“How’d you find us?”
“Let’s be real. I know how your little mind works, Mali. You are internally twisted and depraved. As we all are." She glanced around. "We all have one particular thing in common that we seek and that’s the death of Charlie Bradford.” Smoke sifted through the humid air that echoed with the cock of her pistol's hammer.
“Well, we aren’t just going to shoot them.”
“No, of course not. That’d be too damn easy.” Nicki shot off a reckless round.
The sound reverberated fear into steel chests, awakening our guests.
“Hey, you mad fuck! It’s nice to see you still breathing, you pathetic piece of shit.” Nicki stalked towards Charlie, flicking him in the chest with her finished stogy.
“What the fuck are you trying to do, you psychotic bitch?” His perception was misconceived and vicious.
Nicki’s baffled reaction set her jaw to drop, cocking the gun back once more before pistol whipping him over a bullet entry. “No, I do believe you’re the “bitch” in this instance. Restricted from controlling your own movements, are you not?" Placing the loaded gun onto his thigh region, Nicki planted her hands with a tight squeeze. "I think I like seeing you falter, just sitting there broken--vulnerable and defenseless at my disposal.” She leaned further, closing in on his face, touching noses. “I told these boys here, behind me," Nicki's cheeks pulled back in a vengeful smile. "How you and your pals raped and beat me, leaving me for dead." I rolled my shoulders forward, watching her nails drag down his face--dripping with sweat the gleamed under the lighting. "You made a grand mistake, baby...and I'm going to take much pleasure in your parting." Lips of poison, slathered in hate, pressed against Charlie's one last time before Nicki took her pistol, backing away. "Fuck you.”
Charlie screamed, begging for us to release him and his friends.

“Malice, this is all you, boss. Please do what you feel is necessary.” Johnny smiled.

Everyone stood by, watching every move I made. The darkness in me rose as my grip tightening around the ax I bared in my hands. I wanted to devour his uncompassionate, self-engrossed pride, shoving the remains down his throat until he choked and stopped breathing.
“Welcome, Charlie. So glad you and the others could make it!” I clubbed him in the side of the head--sated by dripping blood.
I then motioned for Colton to hand over the syringe full of hydrochloric acid, holding it tauntingly into the light. I wanted this to be nice, slow and exceptionally painful. Charlie struggled to see after the blow he just endured to the skull, whining to himself. I knelt down before him just to meet his eyes. “You know, things didn’t have to come to this. It is quite the shame that your rash decision making landed you in this chair, praying for mercy.”
“I don’t need your fucking mercy, bitch," Charlie spat blood in my face.
I stood up, pulling the black bandana from my back pocket to wipe my face. Colton and Jacoby ran up with haste, waling on him for the lack of respect.
“And there you go making shit harder! You always have to make things worse, don’t you, Charlie?”
Johnny approached with the flick of his pocket knife, jabbing it straight into Charlie’s leg. “I know it was you… who killed my fucking dog, you son of a bitch!”
Charlie jerked rapidly about, trying to break free from the very rope that bound him before me while he screamed in pain. I yanked his chair around, forcing him to watch his friends die. The best had to be saved for last. Colton turned on the rotator that had a large chain attached. I looped the metal hook onto the knot that bound Raymond’s hands together; he soon ascended into the air--dangling about for execution. Gaining the urge of aggression, I snatched Raymond by the face, pulling him towards me.
“Look at that little prick, Raymond. You owe him a big thank you for bringing you here. Matter of fact, I think we all owe him a thank you!” I laughed sardonically.
Not wanting to waste any more time, I injected the needle into Raymond’s jugular; his screaming spread throughout the entire building--lessening the fucks I gave. Pulling it out slowly, we all stood by watching Raymond convulse while his insides deteriorated. The chemical impact eventually caused Raymond to foam at the mouth from aspiration and I merely riled up.
“Hey, no one told you to puke all over the goddamn floor!” Johnny said, taking a baseball bat to Raymond’s ribcage.
Hearing them crack made everyone’s excitement rise but Dean cried for us to stop, cringing from the crushing of his friend’s bones with a gag.
“Now who’s gonna clean this fucking mess up, hmm? Charlie, I think you’re the perfect candidate.” I clutched my fingers around the back of his neck with a violent shove.
He landed first face into the puddle of Raymond’s bloody anatomy, lying there whimpering like a pathetic puppy longing for his mother.
“How does it feel now, Charlie? To be fucking weak? To be overpowered, outnumbered, and incompetent? I bet it feels beyond fucking amazing!” I jabbed the heel of my shoe into his face. “Pick his ass up.” I wasn't pleased and it showed.

Trenton and Johnny sat him back up, facing him towards me. Tossing Johnny the empty syringe, he stood momentarily in thought while tapping it against his chin. Mentally reaching a decision, we watched him casually stick it through Raymond’s left eye. He just hung in the air, completely lifeless and my stomach endured a rush of nausea. This shit was very real and it was actually happening, and not in the way like when we sit alone--shadowed by our darkest thoughts--or even talk about it. But in a very physical aspect to where I could actually describe how their warm, thin blood felt on my hands, how it smelled of horrible putridity as unpleasant death accented the air. I thought I was about to give up--I didn't think I could follow through and handle it. But we made it this far--there was no turning back--that was never an option. My internal fidelity embroidered with Nicki’s name had me acting this way. I felt like I lost myself--my purpose--my means in this world. I was just an empty vessel lacking proper values and morals--unhinged and hardwired upside down and backward. I had a pernicious heart pure of no lesser evil than a demon, itself. Charlie’s persistent narcissism cradled him in a delusional safe haven full of laughter and it irked me.
“What the fuck is so funny?” Colton folded his arms with a sneer.
Charlie lifted his head still smiling as big as his mouth would let him. “What’s funny… is you all think you could possibly get away with this? People will look for me and they will never stop! When they do find my corpse lying about in some old abandoned train station, they will come looking for you.” His smile was sinister.

“That may be true, but I’ll find great comfort against the hard plastic while my hands lose circulation. The numbness will be a tiny reminder of how I’m still alive and you’re gone from this world. I will find peace at night when I rest my head and go to sleep, dreaming ever so easy about how I took your fucking life.”
I flicked open my pocket knife; sharp and compelling to the touch. One slide against its blade and you were instantly bleeding.
“Nicki, catch, I lightly tossed the hefty stainless in her direction.
Reaching inside my vest, I pulled out a pair of pruning shears, advancing over to Charlie. I jerked back the fingers on his left hand and he fought for his life to get away from my grasp.
“Shh...my wolves are dying to watch the sheep meet his end so they may feast.” I laid his index finger in between the shear’s blades. "This will only hurt a little."
“Please, no! Please… don’t fucking do this. I’m sorry, okay? Agh! No!” Charlie wailed.
“Oh, did everyone hear that? Charlie says he’s fucking sorry. Hmm...what a shame that nobody gives a fuck!” I clamped the handle down tight with a snap.
Charlie's finger was completely severed, lying on the floor below--his hand left to bleed profusely as he howled and screamed. I couldn’t take the loud noise much longer. “Shut up! Shut up, shut the fuck up!” I yelled, cutting off every last one of his fingers, emotionlessly. After several minutes of consecutive crying, Charlie went silent…incoherently drooling onto his shirt. Nicki’s anxiousness had her spontaneously charge Charlie with the pocket knife. Undoing his jeans, she pulled out his testicles like an aggressive savage as sweat rolled down his temples.
“Baby, come on, don’t do this. You know you love me, right? You’re not going to let those hell-raising, mad fucks torture me, are you? Nicki--look at me, please?”

“Shut up...” Nicki replied in a near whisper. “Yes, that is exactly what I’m going to do.” She was fighting to hold back her tears. “You let them rape me while you sat there-- watching--enjoying it. You ignored my call for help while I screamed your name over and over. And what did you do, Charlie?”
“Nothing...” He replied short of breath.
“Exactly, you did nothing!” Nicki pursued a public and very heinous castration that had me aching between the legs.
His horrific blood-curdling shrills and cries aggravated the final nerve that clung to the last ounce of my sanity.
“It’s time to put this fucking dog down.” I bit out.

Marching over to where he sat, I took the knife from Nicki and ripped Charlie’s head back by his hair. Pressing the blade against his throat, I gently closed my eyes--taking a deep breath that stood the hairs on the back of my neck. Everything slowed around me as I opened my eyes and all I could think of was how badly he hurt me, and the things he's done to Nicki. I just wanted to put him out of my misery so he couldn’t hurt me anymore. But suddenly, Sky popped into my head. Not in the way of a guardian angel, and not like the raven of great warning. But as a feeling of comfort, letting me know everything would be okay afterward or maybe I really was losing my damn mind. I took a moment, making eye contact with everyone in the room, reading their expressions on how they might have been feeling about the madness.
“Lord, though I may be ill-minded and destructive with my ways, I pray that you can one day forgive me.” I pressed the blade in further, hearing Charlie take his final breath.
I held the knife before me looking over at Dean balling his eyes out, who seemingly pissed and vomited all over himself. "Johnny, finish this.” I was emotionally and mentally drained.
“With pleasure, boss.” He cocked his pistol, pressing the barrel against Dean’s forehead.
Before Johnny could pull the trigger, a cell phone began ringing loudly. We all frantically checked our pockets, trying to cease the abrupt interruption.
“It’s mine, it’s mine!” Dean shrilled.
Johnny dug it from Dean’s pocket. “It’s his fucking mother. Shit!”
“So what? Give me the damn thing.” Trent insisted.
He cocked his arm back, catapulting it right into the wall, smashing it to pieces. “Fuck your mother, you little bitch.”He hissed.
“She’ll come looking for me! You won’t get away with this you pussy ass bitches!”
“Pussy? Who the fuck are you calling a pussy?” Trenton grabbed the gun from Johnny and pulled the trigger.
BANG!
The back of Dean’s head dispersed into the air while another bullet entered his chest, followed by another until Trenton emptied an entire clip on the bastard.
“That’s enough! I do believe him to be fucking dead.” Johnny took the pistol back into his possession.
Everything seemed to be happening in slow motion. The feeling of vomiting knocked at my stomach’s front door as I looked around at what my absent remorse condoned. When the faint sound of sirens in the distance rang in my eardrums, I felt the color drain from my face.
“What the fuck? Is that coming this way?” Johnny shrieked.
“How could they have possibly found us?”
“Check Raymond’s and Charlie’s pockets for a cell phone!” Trenton commanded.
Jacoby and Tiffany started digging around in search of a phone while Colton stood by in watch at the door.
“Do you see anything?”
“Oh shit! I see tons of lights in the far off distance and they’re heading this way! Shit, what the fuck do we do?” He panicked.
“Hey, calm the fuck down, man!” Trenton slapped him.
“I found one. It's Charlie’s. The fucking thing was on vibrate and not once did he show awareness.” Tiffany informed.
“What kind of phone is that?”
“It’s an iPhone.”
“Those things have trackers on them...” Colton admitted.
“Son of a bitch!”
The sirens were exceeding in sound the longer we stood there in complete hysteria.
“Fuck this shit. You guys run, just go!” Johnny insisted.
“You’re fucking mad! No, I will not leave you! You’re my fucking brother!”
“Always will be,” Johnny took in Jacoby’s face, planting a kiss on his forehead. “Now make your big brother proud and get the fuck out of here. Now! Hurry!”

I shoved everyone towards the door watching them flee like roaches. I took one last glance back at Johnny falling to his knees. He saw me stuck in place and yelled for me to get out and leave while I still had the chance. I swallowed my emotions and escaped into the darkness. Tiff, Colton and I jumped into Trenton’s truck holding on for dear life as he tore out of the graveled lot. Nicki jumped into her car taking off in another direction. Rocks and dust stirred into the night sky, bouncing against the trees as we traveled through the woods. I watched the train station swarm with red and blue lights as cops surrounded it. My heart ached for my brother who took the heroic fall for the rest of us. With each blink, my eyes squeezed out tears that blurred my vision. I didn’t lose sight of the station until it disappeared from view. No one held conversation the entire drive home; then again, could you blame us? What was there to really say?
We dropped Tiffany and Colton off first, then Trenton took me home. I was concerned about Jacoby more so than anyone else only because his blood was now behind bars. He was the only one who drove off in Johnny’s car.
“Hey, you gonna be all right?” Trent asked as I slid out of his truck.
“We’ll see, right? Just a lot to take in at the moment.” I admitted.
“I hear ya. Well, be easy and I’ll talk to you soon.”

I went straight into my bathroom heaving up everything but my toenails. I gasped for air, clutching my chest as I fought for a decent breath. What the fuck have I done? Banging my head against the tile wall until it cracked seemed to be my solution to relieve stress. I filled the tub with ice cold water, dunking my head inside. Holding my breath only until the water appeared murky and my heartbeat echoed in my ears. I’d intake air from the verge of nearly drowning before dunking back down. I tried envisioning happy things in my life; they were seldom. The only thing that made me feel euphoric and wholesome was Sky. The worst part of it was we have never actually met and the inability to understand why I felt security each time we spoke was forever a mystery. It’s only been a few months, but she knows more about me then I realized I might have known myself.
I lazed in bed, smoking on a swisher while writing a journal log. It was all that kept me from breaking down.

“Why is it the one we seem to want the most--to capture their every move and smile you place upon their face, seems uninterested? You crave their touch and how they’d feel against you. Create a fictional persona of how they’d react and gravitate to you while within arm's length. Yet you, yourself, have no idea why the fuck you feel the way do when you’ve never even met.”

I sat back mentally editing the entry. This was the first time I had ever mentioned or wrote about Sky in my book of sensible secrecy. I got online to message her, but she wasn’t logged in. So I sat back enjoying my cigar, daydreaming until she returned my message almost an hour later.
“Hey, night owl. Lol. What are you still doing up?”
“Can’t sleep. Was just involved in some crazy shit.”
“Trip on Molly again? Lol. For real, though, what’s up? Everything good?”
I laughed a little while replying. “No, lol. Sounds fun, but no. Get on Skype and I’ll explain.”
I was nervous to tell her what all happened at first but she gave me every reason to trust her. The thought of giving a confession over the internet to a girl I’ve never met would only make total sense never! With my luck, she’d end up being a damn undercover agent of some sort. I did not have it in me to disclose all that had really happened. It was far too soon.

“Ever since you and I have started talking, your ass has been through a lifetime of mad, crazy bullshit! Like, you can never catch a break it seems!”
“I do apologize. Wish it wasn’t like that.”
“Don’t apologize! I find it quite entertaining. Your life is forever eventful and I like hearing about it. It’s unbelievable, but at the same time, pretty awesome.”

Oh, honey..if you only knew.