The Preface For My Forthcoming Book "Paper Squares & Purple Stars: My Life As A Rave Outlaw

Throughout the years, my mind would sometimes drift toward the idea of writing a sort of memoir. After all, I did spend a fair amount of time deep in a mysterious underworld, where I was in a rare position to peek behind the curtains and see how it all worked. I never got around to this project though. There were always more pressing matters at hand, more important projects demanding my time and energy, things that needed my immediate attention.

Then one day everything stopped.

I was diagnosed with cancer, and I found myself no longer worrying about the next big project, but instead, fighting to stay alive. When things were at their worst, I had no choice but to comply with doctors’ demands to go into chemotherapy. I was truly unsure whether or not I was going to make it. Suddenly, that memoir was no longer a passing thought in the back of my mind, it was an absolute necessity. If I wasn't going to make it, at the very least, I wanted my story to be immortalized.

Each week, as I suffered through my treatments, I would take my laptop to every appointment, and keep it by me at home, so I was able to work on the book every moment that I had enough strength. Luckily, I made it through the treatment healthier than I ever was before. By the time I began to recover, I found I was almost finished telling my story. What I ended up with was the book that you are about to read, Paper Squares & Purple Stars: My Life As A Rave Outlaw, tales from my most interesting years...so far.

All of these stories are true, but some of the names have been changed to protect the guilty (and to protect me from the litigious). Composite characters and condensed timelines were also used for the ease of storytelling and, yet again, to protect the guilty. There may be some illegal activities mentioned in this book that are total fabrications, or maybe not, perhaps I am just saying that to leave some room for plausible deniability.

Below is the synopsis:

Back in the day, many of us ended up at raves because we were seeking an escape from the pressure of a society that wanted us to change who we were. This may not have been how it was for everyone, but this was a common trend in the scene, and it was definitely the case for me. From my earliest years, I found myself in the role of the outcast because I was unable to conform with the cultural expectations of my elders and peers. For most of my life, I was lost and felt like there was no place for someone like me in this world. This experience filled me with an overwhelming sense of loneliness which inevitably led to depression, alcoholism, and drug addiction.

Then one strange summer, fate took me on a ride that would change the direction of my path forever. It all started when I went to a rave and discovered an underground culture where I was finally accepted, where there were people just like me. It was like stumbling down a rabbit hole into a magical land of peace, love and freedom, a place where weird kids like me could be safe from the judgment of the outside world. It really did feel like there was some type of magic in the air back in those days, because my life changed so quickly. In just a few months, I went from a common hustler and a nervous wallflower to a major promoter who organized and supplied some of the most notorious underground events on the east coast.

I found meaning in my life, and I even found love, but I also found a dark side, which would threaten everything I had gained. I ended up in a unique position to witness some of the wildest things that this underworld has to offer, experiencing some very extreme highs and lows of my own along the way. Years later, I reflected on what I saw and what I learned during those crazy times, and now I am ready to tell my story.