Cut the lights!

Cue the smoke machine!

... now, slowly play in The Final Countdown...

Okay, maximum effort! Clear the stage!

Aaaannnnndddd.... WADE!

_{Deadpool Image Swords (made you look)}

Shoot me if this sounds familiar. After coming (cumming? wait, that isn't right now, is it? Is it!?) back from the dead a month ago, Thanos snapped me out of existence (oops, spoiler alert) and put me out of commission. But, I'm a persistent son of a gun (it says so on my resume, so it must be true!) so I crawled back from the Great Beyond to settle back in to the mucky muck.

So, here we are. Bullet hole fresh in my skull.

What better way to ring in my return than to tackle one of the deepest, most philosophically profound figures in all of comics. I'm, of course, talking about... Deadpool. ^crickets _crickets

It's so timely, too, considering his latest outing came out a little over a week after my last post. As we all know, the peak time to talk about movies is one month after it came out, right? Let it marinate and breathe a bit. I'm not really a fan of the so-called Merc with a Mouth, but it is what it is. After that tedious introduction sequence, time to go back to our regular scheduled programming.

Let's Get (Meta)Physical

_{(Un)Original Source}

Deadpool has a regenerative healing factor, superhuman strength and sharp wit, but his most striking superpower has got to be his comic awareness. No, not cosmic awareness wherein he has the ability to sense disturbances on a universal scale. I'm talking about comic awareness, wherein he's aware that he's a character in a comic book. Talk about enlightened!

Imagine for a second that you're consciously aware of the meaning of all existence. Are you imagining? Let that stew for a moment and we'll get back to it when it starts to simmer.

In the spirit of being meta, let me take this opportunity to address the elephant in the room... Hey, Daniel. Looks like you've lost some weight.

_{What elephant?}

Also, I've been gone for quite some time. In fact, I've been gone for far too long that I feel like I've forgotten how to... * gasps * STEEM!! I'm well aware how heinous a crime that is, so I ask for your mercy and forgiveness. But, if you must lynch me, know that my neck is ticklish. Use that information for whatever you wish. Aside from physical ailments, existential crises, bouts of depression, heavy rains, leaky ceiling, unruly contractors, untamable floods and herculean workloads, I really have no other excuse for my absence, and for that I am deeply sorry. I have let not only my rabid fans and loyal followers down, but most importantly, I've let you down. Yes, you, person reading this post. Know that I cherish you.

_{Forgive me?}

It's already been a minute or two, so have you thought about the philosophical conundrum I posed earlier? Come on, I gave you a buttload of seconds already, what more do you want!?

Let's take this step by step. Imagine that you can't die and you know the meaning of life (which is basically pointless), what would you do? I would've added "gun to your head" but you're basically immortal so what would be the point of the threat, right? Granted immortality, some people would try to solve whatever problems they can or opt to save as many people they can, but most people would just live a more hedonistic lifestyle until they get bored. Time would be irrelevant, and whatever mistake you make, you can easily make up for in the "next" lifetime (when the mistake is utterly forgotten by everyone, of course). You won't have any restrictions with regard to hazards, and there are no personal consequences for your actions. There would be a lot of collateral damage, but everyone else is basically expendable for you, since you're going to outlive their grandkids' grandkids.

That scenario would be tempting, wouldn't it? I mean, I surely wouldn't mind living for a millenia or two. But, you might get bored out of your mind after centuries of seeing the same thing play out over and over. So boring that you might just want to kill yourself, but you can't because you're immortal.

The Wonderful Wade Wilson

_{Oh, you...}

Deadpool basically plays both sides, in his own twisted way. He does heroic things so unheroically, most people would pay him to not get involved. If you think he's bonkers in the movies, wait 'til you read him in the comics, watching himself in the movies, masturbating to his own image in the comics. Now that's wack!

I won't even begin to detail his outrageous origin story. If you want to bleed out from your ears, try diving deep into how Deadpool came to be. Instead, I'll focus on what he means to the world in general. Deadpool's a twisted amalgamation of the best and worst of us, on steroids, doing crack. Basically, Deadpool is meant to represent how humans would act if we were untethered. No hazards, no limitations, no moral compass (well, some). He does whatever he wants, whenever he wants (most of the time). His inclination for continually killing is a manifestation of his desire to end his own life (but he would never admit it).

As a character, he's both the easiest and hardest to write. You can tell every story you want with the Merc with a Mouth, but you're bound by certain expectations. His growing popularity might stem from people living vicariously from his antics, how his gung ho attitude has seemingly no consequences. It's enviable, and it's nigh impossible to achieve in real life. That's what movies are for, right?

Wade Wilson is everyone and no one. While not everyone might have the same stomach for gratuitous violence, everyone wants to live life without limitations. We are Venom? No, sir. We are Deadpool. But, that might not always be a compliment.

Big Finish!

_{Oh! Oh! Oh! Superhero landing!}

I'm staring at a massive block of text, but not once can I see any mention of the most recent film. If you haven't watched it, you should, because it's awesome. Not Avengers-level awesome, but it's a good enough popcorn movie with a lot of laughs. There are references aplenty, and Ryan Reynolds seemed hellbent on burning through his list of mentions before the credits roll. I was quite disappointed about how the final fight played out, but it tied the film quite well. Josh Brolin went from universe-conquering Titan to Diet Terminator. He wasn't quite the Cable I expected, but he's the Cable we deserve. The jokes were as sharp as Deadpool's blades, and they keep coming at you like bullets from a semi-automatic. My favorite reference is when Deadpool tried to calm down Juggernaut the way Black Widow calms the Hulk down in Avengers: Age of Ultron. Overall, it was good. Go see it.

I could use this portion to dissect the recent string of famous people suicides and discuss this much-maligned yet important issue, but that's about all the time we have for my triumphant return. Speaking of which, look at the clock. See how many minutes were added to it since you started reading this? That's how much of your life you've wasted. Neat, huh? You're welcome, internet.

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For the love of EOS, vote for @lukestokes.mhth as a STEEM witness, will ya?

(I swear you won't regret it. Have I ever broken a promise to you?)

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_{I told you I was resilient. Follow me to learn more!}