Bananas

So, Bananas.

And no, if I ever get famous enough to get one of those TTS voiceovers, I’m not telling you to sew bananas, I’m just using them as a conversation starter. dialogue starter. monologue starter.

Anyways. Bananas are rather interesting, aren’t they? With that weird, kinda curved shape and that odd yellow color.

Get your mind out of the gutter!

Anyways. Bananas are rather useful, as demonstrated by this tall tale:

And so the valiant hero strode up the mountain toward the clearing where the grand wizard awaited him, excited at finally reaching the end of his journey. Finally, finally he could go home and rest.
And the wizard spoke unto him thusly “Have you brought all that is required? Have you brought the magic banana that we need for the spell?”
“Yes, wise one. It is right here.”
So saying, the hero drew the banana out of his pack and handed it unto the wizard.
“Excellent. Now we can… Wait, this isn’t a banana - it’s a weird sexual object! You fool. Now the world is doomed to ruin, Now I cannot complete my spell to stop the evil sorcerer.”
The hero flushed, embarrassed and afraid.
“Oh- I… Wait a second..”
Once again he reached into his pack, seemingly searching for something…
“I got it!”
And he withdrew a half-eaten banana and handed it unto the wizard.
“Hmm… Alright, this will do. I’ll get started on that spell. And we’ll talk about this later”
He indicated the sexual object, and the hero nodded uncomfortably…

Although I suppose that might just apply to magic bananas, not to regular ones. But regular ones have… cholesterol! Wait, no - that’s a bad thing, and they actually don’t.

So they have.. calcium? Actually, I have no idea if they do…

But I think they do have fibers. So that’s good, right?

I don’t actually know that much about bananas. I just think they may be useful.

Now get your mind out of the gutter.

So… apples, anyone?

I’m gonna go figure out the uses of magic bananas, so leave me alone for a little while, ya’ perverts.

-hyperbole out

picture from pixabay.