Stick Figure Syndrome
Butterflies in the stomach. A second serving of dinner in the stomach. A bowl of cereal in the stomach. One banana, one—no, two cookies, in the stomach. That puts my calorie count at what so far…
My mind drifted back to this morning while I stood in front of the mirror. My husband rested a hand on my abdomen. “You look thin,” he said. My five-year-old can draw stick figures, and his representation of me might not be inaccurate right now.
My current shape, something akin to these power poles.
I see so many people talking about diets for the New Year. I’m counting calories too, but not in the usual way. It just goes to show that everybody has problems, it just might not seem like it.
Over the last nine months or so I have developed what I call Stick Figure Syndrome. I keep losing weight, and I can’t help it. This happened once before soon after I gave birth to my son. This time, weaning brought it on. Hormones. The word that strikes fear into the hearts of women no matter if childbearing age or beyond.
Lots of women have trouble losing weight, especially after giving birth, probably for hormonal reasons. And then there is me. I used to have an ass, but now I don’t. My body ate it. It sounds like not a big deal, right? Who cares, being thin is good, right? My body ate my ass. I was saving it for winter. This isn’t good.
I don’t like looking like a stick figure—it isn’t healthy. Realistically, I don’t think there is much I can do about it until the hormones make their resolution, which last time started to occur sometime after a year. Despite it, I am determined not to lose any more weight. I have so much to learn about dieting.
Therein comes the calorie counting. An egg is one hundred calories. That’s nothing. A slice of toast is one hundred calories. Still, practically nothing. But wait…there is one hundred calories in a tablespoon of butter! I knew I liked butter for a reason.
Cocoa dusted Belgian Truffles, 240 calories…in 4. I knew I liked Cocoa Dusted Belgian Truffles for a reason.
Frankly, I’m impressed with granola. One cup is 480. I get why moms in the natural health community call themselves “crunchy” now. That is a highly respectable number. And I am going to eat it! I’m slapping my hand down on top of the laptop. Right now!
One slice of cheddar cheese has 113 calories in it. I could eat six of those. Hell, I’ve eaten half a block while talking about diaper rash with my best friend.
The current grocery list:
Butter
Cocoa Dust Belgian Truffles
Granola
Cheese
Yep, just lots and lots of that stuff.
My confidence is growing. I can visualize my shadow now, and it has an ass.
I have three kids.
For two of them, my doctor suggests keeping butter, maple syrup, cheese, sour cream and other calorie adding condiments around and encouraging them to use it.
For me and my other kid he suggests we skip them...
Good luck.
It is interesting how every metabolism is so different within a family, and changing over time.
Sour cream...that's a good one, got to add that to the grocery list :)
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There are healthier ways to gain weight. Please, don't end up with diabetes, high cholesterol or clogged arteries trying to get weight! You can have you butt back, just do some workouts for that area. Change your diet, don't eat GMO food, also make sure all the meat, dairy products and poultry is hormones free. Try natural medicine for your hormones issues and take care!
I actually already eat very healthy, which is why I think supplementing a bit more with some extra empty calories probably won't hurt.
Unfortunately alternative medicine hasn't been that helpful thus far, I think it is simply a time in life that must be dealt with. I'd be curious to know of other women that have similar reactions. Hormones are fascinating but misunderstood a lot.
If I were going to start over, endocrinology is a fascinating and growing field. I would add a nice plump avocado to your grocery list.
Me too, if I could actually survive the disgusting parts of medical school.
Avocado is a good idea.
haha! this is hilarious. No one has ever written a post before about their body eating their ass and about getting their ass back! lol. I guarantee it!
It might be a unique experience too. I would like to meet the fellow people that have had their body's eat their asses, if such other people exist.
howdy today ginnyannette! hahaha! I highly doubt if such people exist, I think you have the market cornered on that bizarre event! But keep writing about it and let us know how you correct this deficit!
I consumed a lot of chocolate today. I'll keep you posted.
haha! what kind of chocolate? Chocolate milk is like the most fattening drink on earth. lol. I think you should show us what you're piggin out on each day, we'll all be jealous!
It was multiple varieties of chocolate. I like diversity. And a stollen - one fat slice of that thing is 350 calories. I respect that stollen.
oh I love stollen, it's awesome! The package weighs about ten pounds and you pick and it up and say dang, what's in this thing? lol. That stuff is rich but I didn't know it was THAT rich, I need to get some more of that.
I would love to do chocolate milk! My guts will try to fall out though. I don't think the coconut milk variety packs quite as many calories. I'll have to look into that.
oh that's too bad about the chocolate milk, no you have to stay away from that stuff then but I see chocolate coconut milk, I agree, it's worth looking into.