1. They get distracted, do stupid shit and can't contain themselves.

Have you ever look up at a beautiful chandelier in awe at just how enchanting the glitter is?
Just to decompose the phenomenon to its physics interactions and the pragmatism of how unnecessary such object is
Reflecting and diffracting?
Maybe you have never done it. I do it most of the time.
Most people think analyzing something beautiful takes away the magic. I strongly disagree with such people.

I saw a pond while walking a couple of weeks ago. Got close and look into it.
Then I noticed a pattern of optical interference created by the natural light reflected on the junction between two or more soluble yet non-miscible substances. That colorful iridescence, probably diesel from a leaking truck. Judging by the distance in between the violets, I imagine a partition coefficient of...

I stumble, fall and almost get my dumb face into the pond.

-Oh, great... OH, GREEEAT! - my hands greasy dirty and scratched, I hit them up and down against each other to clean them, there was nothing great about it. - am a pond junkie now, my mom must be proud!

The process of thinking made me find beauty into a dirty pond. There you go.

2. They don't trust the world and exaggerate.

I have a little nice, she's 3 years old. I love her despite being a bit tiresome and gross like most little kids are. She wants me to take her outside to play. My mother tells me to take her to the local park. I look at this thing and I tell myself:

-I can't take this thing outside, it's gonna get beat up by a gang or something worst. Her feet are too short she can't run fast enough if a tiger comes.
-Tiger at the local park? that's just silly.
-A well-fed chihuahua could do the job. Look at her, she's no more than 25 pounds. The bar is not too high. I could put her in bubble wrap but she could suffocate.
-If you don't want to just say so and don't take her.
-Now I'm the bad guy, geez. Alright, let's go.

She's at that awkward age, where shes's cute but is a pain in the ass to move around. If she were smaller you could use a stroller like a mini prison for uterus escapees. If she were bigger you could explain to her not to talk to strangers who offer candy or cell phones -Im not up to date with the new tricks of sick fucks going around -, and had a little more freedom or be less cute so you wouldn't bother about it.

3. They have the best conspiracy theories

They can't see something nice happening because they immediately find a reason it has a hidden purpose or consequence.

-They opened a candy store in this avenue. Cool, right?
-Nonsense, why can't this be in a supermarket. They could open a food store but instead, they are only selling candy.
-Specialized stores are the only ones that can compete with the big players nowadays. It also improves the appearance of the street.
-No. I think they also are into real estate. They saw the people that live here and they were too lean. We can make these motherfuckers like balloons they seem to happy! That's what they thought. We get them fat, they start using flip flops and then they get divorced. We sell tiny shitty houses for divorced guys, we make a killing. A mini loft, a mini bar, couch and a place for their flat screens and games.
-Hahaha, What do flip-flops have to do with anything?
-Oh, Don't get me started. These people are animals! they show around their dirty feet at public places and they expect you not to run for office and become a dictator to get rid of them.

4. They are lazzy and flip on you if you notice

Suppose they make a post. If you pay attention they make 3 points in but find a way to make it seem like they actually made 4. You call them on it and they respond with some witty bullshit in the comments. The fucking nerve.