I've always wanted to knockout a bear.

in #fight7 years ago

There's a part of me that absolutely loves violence. It lives in next to the part that criticizes governments with 20/20 hindsight and above my raw cooking skills.

Many years ago I heard the story of a man that survived an encounter with a bear. The poor man was ravaged, the most graphically impressive thing was how the animal almost completely scalped him. He survived by running away. The recovery was painful and full of scars. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to do it sooner but fortunately, he was able to do it.

My thought about that situation was to try and recreate the experience and imagine myself in that situation. Many times. Trying to survive a fight against something orders of magnitude bigger, faster and stronger that wants me dead.

It almost makes me happy just thinking about it. In my shadow boxing imaginary fights, I always die. I can't picture myself winning. The day plot goes like this.

I'm drinking a beer while walking through the park. Is a beautiful day, children aren't to loud and today the park is not filled with middle aged guys picking up the poop of their dogs. It's a great view. I approach the section of the zoo where there are open cages and people look at the animals from afar.

Hi, one chocolate ice cream. Can I pay with a $100 bill?
No sir, I'm out of change.
Ah, well. It's alright. Thanks.

As I'm walking away in a mix of pure resentment for having too much money, I hear people mumbling and looking at the cage intently . A woman starts screaming.

My son, my son fell into the cage! -screams

I get close to watch like everybody else. Phones start flashing and people scream calling for a guard or someone in charge.
One of the animals in the cage gets close, the kid appears to be unconscious. Seconds feel like minutes and nobody appears. I feel a rush in my stomach and get on the top of the fence.

Perfect - I think - This is my opportunity to fight a bear.

A guy who can not find his cellphone looks at me

Hey, what are you...don't be stupid. what the... SHIIIIT! oh, that looney just jumped.
I jump. I try to remember the parkour videos where someone has taught me how to roll to not break my shins after hitting the ground.

In some scenarios, I can't picture properly the impact so I get open fractures and sounds similar to chalk breaking. Sometimes I perform it properly and start thinking how to get the kids out first.

I Use my zippo to ignite a piece of clothing or the flash in my cellphone and the bear just goes away or sometimes the bear comes charging at me and starts swinging like an abusive husband after a bad day at the factory.

If someone knows the stats of speed, mass, and strength of a bear it will appear clear how things go in my mind. 1 out 1000 times I survive.

Ever wondered how strong is a bear?

Pretty fucking strong!

Here. Have some material for your nightmares, a furless bear.

You are welcome

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Thanks for sharing the link. I did enjoy this. And, you're 100% about that last picture: one part bear, one part chupacabra, all nightmare!

What an interesting outlet for anger.

LOL, this one was super funny. Crazy and scary.

I enjoyed this story waayy too much haha! I saw you in the comments of @therealpaul, decided to take a look, glad I did ;)

Oh, geez. Thank you, sir. Glad my lunacy has provided you with some entertainment value.

I'm a she lol, no worries, second time today, seems to happen quite a bit on here haha! Definitely entertaining!

My mistake madam. If cryptocurrencies and the blockchain are like the wild west, one must remember the ratio at that time was 400:1

Now that I think about it, that ratio is probably right, and makes complete sense of why people constantly call me bro, haha! (I figured the icon of the little girl's silouhette on the swing would help, but nope ;0)

I know a girl who survived 2 or 3 times, a fight with a bearish human. Still counts?

You've just been visited by, El "happy" Carcia of "toma tu coñazo".

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