5 Minute Freewrite Day 452: Orbit

in #writing7 years ago


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There are just a handful of presences in my past that I could say marked me in a positive way. Giacomo, the old soldier that taught me swordplay, the nice lady in Veiro’s Bakery who gave me sweets, the old mid-wife of my father’s family (and the only one there with nice word for me), but all in all, one face, one voice and image stayed in me as if burned with hot iron.

I remember her name being Caelynn, an elf priestess that came to visit master Giacomo in honor of some adventures they had together in the past. I was smitten by her, by the grace she carried and the strength of will I could fell underneath her light demeanor. That day I didn’t pay much attention to my lessons.

Each day of the following week, as soon as I could free myself from tedious house chores, I went to the Inn were Caelynn stayed, an accompanied her around, exchanging legends of her people, bits about her past (about why she always used gloves), and tips about fighting and reading people, for whatever random bit of knowledge an eight years old girl could offer. I felt her genuine interest, and for a while, I was the tiny moon orbiting around her radiance.

For: https://steemit.com/freewrite/@mariannewest/day-452-5-minute-freewrite-tuesday-prompt-orbit

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I agree with jlj. There’s definitely a longer story to be told there.
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Indeed, there is a more stiry to tell, but my mission with all freewrites of this year, is to offer small "sneak peek" episodes of the bigger tale, which I'm developing slowly.

I like it too! Especially, your last line, a tiny moon orbiting her radiance.

I have a tendency to drop lines like that, without caring if the character who is speaking would normally say something like that. Then again, this is a "first crush" situation, so I'm excused.

I like it, makes me wish you had taken more than 5 minutes, because I want to know more!

Happy to see you liked it!, and while right now there is just this, I'm saving all my freewrites for future development.

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